The Masadoom and Company
by hyperdrive
Summary: At first, Lucca simply wanted to create moving pictures. What she invented was the boob tube! With the aid of the Chrono Trigger crew, can Lucca create the TV we all know and love? Please read and review!
1. The Masadoom

The Masadoom

(C) 2003 by hyperdrive

Of course, I do not have any claim to ownership of the characters from Chrono Trigger.

While this is no bad effort, the sheer number of euphemisms (whole lot of them,) bad puns (ditto,) and an exceptionally embarrassing situation for the Chrono Trigger crew makes this something that might offend the overly sensitive. Read on if you dare! Remember to leave a review!

* * *

It was January 23, 1001 A.D. A day that would reform the way people wasted time, how children were educated, and how telemarketers grew to a previously unheard of threat to peace and privacy. 

On that day, Lucca Ashtear, brilliant teenage inventor, adventurer, and hero, invented LuccaVision.

The boob tube. The Telly. The miraculous machine that made potato chips a commodity like gold, to be hoarded under couches in sacks and cardboard tubes. Lucca had invented The Television!

That day was the six month anniversary of July 23, 1000 A.D. On that particular day at the Guardia Millennial Fair, Lucca, her friend Crono, and Guardia's Princess Nadia, alias Marle, had been introduced to time travel by a malfunctioning Telepod invention, courtesy Lucca Ashtear. This led to a long, arduous quest, ending with the defeat of Lavos, a destructive parasite that had lived inside the earth for millions of years.

Due to the vagaries of time travel, the quest was over in a week to people in 1000 A.D. To Lucca and her friends, it had taken several months. Returning home, they settled down to a peaceful, normal existence.

However, the LuccaVision was an inevitable invention, due to the actions of Marle, and the egos of Magus and Frog.

On October 23, 1000 A.D., Marle had Lucca bring Robo, the robot, Magus, the prince of Zeal turned conceited sorcerer, Frog, the knight Glenn turned frog by Magus, and Ayla, the cavewoman, to the present for the "Vital," as Marle put it, three month reunion.

It was a pleasant reunion, in spite of the efforts of the moody Magus to make the party an utter flop, and once it ended, Robo, Frog, Magus, and Ayla returned to their own times.

Three months later, July 23, 1000 A.D., Marle had Lucca summon them again from their own times, for the "This is a total Must-have" six month anniversary.

It didn't turn out as well.

The sorcerer was first to arrive, from 12,000 B.C. He greeted Lucca, who was acting as the welcomer. "I can't believe it! You cretins, begging me out here! I, Magus, King of the Mystics, crown prince of Zeal, coming here to this worthless celebration. However, since I am here, I will honor this party with my enlightened self. Bow to me!"

"Yak, yak. You're only here because you think Frog would think you too cowardly to come had you not."

Magus smirked, apparently unaffected as he pushed past her rudely.

Frog was next. "Lady Lucca, 'tis a pleasure to behold thee," said the knight-turned-frog.

"Magus is already inside."

"In that case, milady, out of respect for the integrity of thy possessions, I shall wait outside thine abode till thine other guests come hither."

The others soon arrived, and the celebration began.

Magus rolled his eyes as Marle thanked Lucca for allowing the party to be held at her house, and announced to all that today would be a lot of fun.

As Ayla and Crono tried their strength arm-wrestling, Magus rated the party. "Utterly foolish nonsense. Is this what the prince of Zeal is insulted with?"

"Foul wizard, hold thy tongue! Speak ye not such words over this occasion. Perchance I should more delight in this party if thine dour attitude were not present."

"Cretin," challenged Magus in a particularly nasty tone of voice.

"What didst thou title me, O lord of failure?"

"Cricket-eating Cyrus-worshipping cretin."

Frog drew his sword, Masamune, from its sheath. "From thy mouth I shall hew out thy tongue!"

"I have saved it! Now this party is alive!" Magus summoned from seemingly nowhere his scythe. "I'm a true hero," he chortled.

The Masamune clanged against Magus' Doomsickle. Not wanting to appear actually fighting (and thus be broken up,) Magus had cast a silencing spell, making it appear that they were practicing; only he could hear Frog speaking and vice versa.

"Foul fiend! I shouldst slain thee upon your joining our party!"

Magus was ready with a witty retort when Marle ran up.

"Guys, it's so nice to see you both getting along so well!"

That was the most unexpected statement they could have heard. Magus was flabbergasted, as was Frog.

"I wish I could have a picture of you two practicing, just like that." Marle giggled. "Lucca, do you have my camera?"

Lucca did indeed, and she set up to take the picture.

"Smile!" said Marle.

Frog, deciding to win the argument, smiled widely and held two fingers above Magus' head as Lucca took the photo, forever emblazoning on film an image of Frog and Magus, weapons clashed together, Magus attempting to look as important as possible while a grinning Frog stole Magus' thunder: the blue-haired wizard had sprouted from his head two green horns.

The moment after the picture was taken, Frog acted innocent as possible.

The camera's flash had obscured Frog's final strike, and the party proceeded as if nothing had happened.

Thoroughly convinced that he had effectively defeated Frog in the picture by his air of authority, Magus actually chatted with Lucca on relatively friendly terms and, in an unprecedented move, challenged and won against Ayla in arm-wrestling. (Most likely he challenged because Frog had challenged Ayla and lost. The warlock had spent nearly five minutes to defeat her, as he repeatedly stomped the floor with his boots and grappled with the table as he summoned all his strength to resist. His desperate moves finally distracted her allowing him to just barely take the victory.)

The anniversary finally ended, and the guests returned to their respective times via the time Gate in Leene Square. Crono, Marle, and Lucca saw them off.

"Good party. Blue hair strong, smart, tricky. Likes purple hair." Ayla leapt into the Gate.

Lucca reddened and felt slightly queasy.

"Thank you for your invitation. I found your social gathering a quite acceptable occasion, Lucca, Marle, Crono." Robo vanished into the Gate.

"I didst indeed enjoy thy celebration," said Frog. The amphibian knight barely held in laughter as he noticed Magus coming towards the time Gate. "Fare thee well."

Frog vanished, and the former prince of Zeal approached. "I suppose this party was an improvement from last." He chuckled evilly. "Make sure that I see that picture next time I visit, Lucca."

He vanished and the gate closed.

"I wish I could have taken more pictures. Or to have them actually move in the pictures," sighed Marle.

Crono nodded. "That would be nice."

Lucca said nothing. She had had the idea!

* * *

Far into the night Lucca labored. First, she made a steaming pitcher of tea; then she began processing the camera's film, a day long process. Afterwards, she tinkered for a while, then pondered, and tinkered.

A glass vase, several overly complex electronic circuits, three knobs, and enough wire to weave a bird's nest changed overnight into an unholy conglomeration of technologically impressive doodads.

However, the wee hours of the morning could not stop the massive train of thought thundering through the mind of Lucca Ashtear. Another device was needed; more wire was necessary, more circuits, more electronics, and several more pitchers of tea.

Floated through the ocean of darkness that was night by a caffeine rush come with the vengeance of Magus against Lavos, Lucca completed changing Marle's camera into another extraordinary gizmo. When powered, she reasoned, the electronics would convert the image seen by the camera into an electrical signal; a small transmitter would amplify the signal, sending it to a wire, which would resonate with power, and the pictures would be beamed over to the receiver, her earlier work that centered round the vase. The wire in the receiver would receive the power, and the receiver's electronics would project the image onto the bottom of the vase using a radiation beam.

"I…am…suuuuuuuuch…a…GENIUS! Mwahahahah!" observed an overly excited inventor. Supercharged by an overdose of caffeine, she stood and proclaimed victory.

"I! Lucca! The! GREAT! Have indeed invented! LUCCAVISION! Garhahar!"

Thankfully, no one was bothered by her announcement. Her father Taban was awake working on an invention himself and thinking about how proud he was of his daughter, while her mother Lara was used to her daughter and her husband's need to loudly express themselves at insane times.

* * *

The next day was bright and cheerful. However, Lucca was anything but, for the caffeine had forsaken her. She was tired and sleepy.

The door to her room burst open as Marle and Crono welcomed themselves in.

"Good morning sleepy head!" Marle giggled when she noticed Lucca passed out at her workbench.

"Geniuses…HATE…morning," Lucca murmured.

"Wake up, Lucca," said Crono gently. "We're here to see your new invention."

Lucca awoke immediately. If there was anything that could motivate her, it was showing her inventions to friends.

"Just kidding. That always wakes you."

Lucca grumped. "Well, it worked. What'ya here for?"

"Film," said Marle.

"I thought today we could walk around the Millennial Fair this morning. It won't be open much longer," said Crono.

"Film developed. Right here." Replied Lucca as she gave Marle several developed photographs.

Marle immediately cracked up. Crono barely contained himself as he showed Lucca the image of Frog and Magus.

Though tempted to chuckle herself, the photo reminded her of the INVENTION!

"Guys! Demonstration time!" Lucca announced. "I have built a new device."

"Hold on, I need to leave for a moment…" Crono feigned fear as he backed towards the door but stopped. "Just kidding. We will be going to the Fair still, of course?"

At that moment, Marle noticed what one of the items lying on Lucca's workbench was. "My camera!"

"I'll build you another. I! Am! A! Genius! Behold!" Lucca applied power to the wires extending from the electronics in the vase. "LUCCAVISION!"

The flat bottom of the vase lit up, showing static.

"Ohhhhhh…."

"Ahhhhh….."

"Wow….." 

"Impresssiiivvveee…"

"So what does it do?" ended Crono.

Lucca frowned as her friends' wonderment was replaced by puzzlement. She applied power to Marle's camera, and held it up as if taking a picture of Crono.

The young swordsman's face appeared on the screen.

Marle dropped the photograph and stared.

Crono blinked and stared into his moving image on the screen.

"Shocking…" whispered Marle. "Moving pictures."

"Soon, everyone'll own a LuccaVision!" announced Lucca proudly.

* * *

By the time three months had passed, several LuccaVision receivers had been produced, and were presented for public viewing. At the same time, Lucca had developed another invention which she was dying to show off.

Coincidently, Marle announced that it was time for a "Critically Important" gathering of the group.

Fortunately, due to time travel, no one had a problem in coming. They could take the time to visit and lose no time at all; they would reappear the same time they left at.

Magus arrived first. He carried himself proudly from the Gate in Leene Square. "Well, well, woman, can't live without me, huh?" Magus smirked at Lucca.

Lucca groaned.

Magus chuckled. "Where's the photo?"

"I'll show you later." Lucca grimaced, hoping against hope that it would be forgotten.

Robo emerged from the Gate and greeted Lucca, followed by Ayla.

"You and blue hair good together. Make strong babies," announced Ayla, to Lucca's great discomfort. Magus merely laughed and eyed Lucca teasingly.

Frog arrived. "Lady Marle, Sir Crono, Lady Lucca, 'tis an honor that thou findest mine company appealing. Such is a great comfort to me."

And so, they left for the party, not knowing what was in store…

* * *

Once again, it was being held at Lucca's house. Magus took the honor of being the first to make trouble by insulting Frog. With a discreet yet inflammatory statement, he observed that Lucca had forgotten to prepare a wading pool for 'the pet.'

"Perchance she hath not forgotten the preparation of an entrapment, to hold the circus beast in." retorted Frog.

Magus was about to respond when Lucca announced that this meeting would be different than the last.

"I need all of your help for an invention of mine."

"What may this be?" questioned Robo.

"It's a surprise."

Frog beat Magus to the punch on the next question. "Lady Lucca, I should consider it a great honor to be allowed to be the individual to trial thy contrivance."

Magus stood to his full height, and used one of his many talents. He radiated an aura of princely superiority while he asked, "Of course, but who is more qualified?"

Lucca decided her invention would keep them in line. "You may both try it."

The group entered Lucca's house. The inventor demonstrated LuccaVision, bringing about many compliments.

"And we shall make a _commercial_ on it!" she declared. "A demonstration of my latest invention, a godsend to the consumer."

Magus nodded regally. "Very well. I shall appear on your LuccaVision. After all, who could be a better spokesperson then a prince? Excuse me for a moment." Magus, suspended in air by magic, flew upstairs to Lucca's room.

"So shall I also host!" Frog interjected.

"You will both host then. I haven't figured out how to record broadcasts yet, so it'll be a live action commercial: what we do on camera, everyone watching will immediately see. I've already announced our intentions to the people."

"My HEAD?! You WILL DIE!" Magus was heard gasping upstairs. "I will AVENGE!"

Lucca frowned. He had seen the image of The Frog-Knight Strikes Back.

* * *

At exactly three o'clock, four LuccaVision receivers were turned on. One was turned on by King Guardia, Marle's father; he had been given one as a present. One was powered up by the sword smith Melchior, Guru of Life, who had been given a set. Another was energized by a shopkeeper at the Millennial Fair in Leene Square. The final set was activated by Lucca's parents.

King Guardia waited patiently as his LuccaVision warmed up. The color display activated, showing static, and static played over the speakers. Melchior sat back in his chair and waited, seeing much the same thing. A crowd had gathered round the set at the Millenial Fair, watching a suspiciously similar image. Taban and Lara waited for the broadcast to begin, a demonstration of this new technology.

Lucca prepared the video camera. "Everyone knows their parts, right?"

"I hath committed thine part to mine mind, Lady Lucca."

"I know it better than Frog. Can I have the main part?"

"Daddy'll be so proud to see me! I won't miss a word!"

"I won't mess up, Lucca."

"My memory circuits have stored my part."

"Ayla no forget!"

"One thing. Must we demonstrate…your other invention?" asked Crono.

Magus and Frog exchanged glances. After seeing what Lucca's invention was (an improved version of one of Taban's inventions) both wanted to back out, but neither would show cowardice before the other. However, this commercial would be a major blow to their honor and pride…

"But I can take it." Magus and Frog announced in unison, and then glared at each other.

"I couldn't be paid enough to do this," grumbled the warlock prince.

Lucca prepared the camera and aimed it at a test pattern. She activated it, and adjusted it for best picture.

King Guardia gasped as a color image appeared: a simple test pattern. A single tone played over the speakers. Melchior stood up from his chair in surprise. The crowd murmured in response. Taban loudly called out, "That's my girl!" while Lara sighed with pride.

Lucca stood proudly. "We are ready! On the air in 3…2…1…Now!"

On LuccaVision sets across the land, the image of Frog and Magus, standing side by side on a podium in front of a black backdrop appeared. Melchior dropped the glass of water he had picked up. The other viewers watched in stunned amazement.

"Pssst….your lines!" whispered Lucca.

Immediately straying from script, Magus announced his own version of his lines before Frog. "I am Magus, crown prince of Zeal and King of the Mystics. I honor your eyes and ears with my image and voice on your LuccaVision sets."

"I am Frog, a knight of Guardia whose form was corrupted in this unbecoming manner by an immoral sorcerer." Frog glanced at Magus; a gesture easily notable now that Lucca had zoomed in on the image.

Marle leaned into the picture and waved. "Hello, Daddy!"

"That's my girl!" King Guardia bellowed with pride.

"I'm Marle, and these are my friends."

"I am Crono, and on behalf of Lucca Ashtear, I welcome you to our first broadcast using…"

Lucca flipped a switch on the camera. Immediately, the bass response of the camera's built-in microphone tripled, and an ethereally rendered, hauntingly awesomely enhanced Crono's voice thundered, "**LUCCAVISION!**"

The world's first special effect!

Before Lucca could disengage the switch, Magus continued his part. "**THIS REMARKABLE TECHNOLOGY**," he said, unaware of his already powerful voice thundering and raging over the airwaves, "**IS UTTERLY REVOLUTIONARY**."

Lucca switched off the special effect. Mid-sentence, Magus' voice normalized.

"**SO MU**ch, in fact, that I have bestowed a great honor upon it. I allow myself to be viewed over it."

"For example, observe the crisp, sharp image. This is some sweet stuff we're talking about." Crono detailed. At that moment, Ayla walked in front of the camera.

Every LuccaVision set showed a fur clad Ayla on camera, zoomed slightly on her face, as Crono commented, "some sweet stuff."

Lucca prayed ardently that people weren't noticing the flagrant (and purposeful, in Magus' case) mistakes.

Several people in the crowd at the Millennial Fair whistled crudely as Ayla entered the picture, dressed scantly in furs. "Some sweet stuff," said the LuccaVision set, eliciting many chuckles and several cat calls.

Robo came into play, right on cue. "The audio is melodious and clear. Listen," the robot played over his internal speakers a gorgeous violin concerto, once punctuated in a quiet portion by Magus accusing Frog of 'spoiling the whole darn thing.'

Ayla's part came. "LuccaVision smart. People who watch smart. LuccaVision change whole world!" Ayla punched her fist into the air.

The camera returned to Magus and Frog.

"Now, to demonstrate the commercial potential of LuccaVision, we will unveil an invention to make all of our lives easier." Magus grimaced and paled slightly more than usual; his red eyes suddenly lost their fierceness, and for a moment, he appeared to be a scared, lonely young man, looking for someone to save him.

"A contrivance to make ease a task of certain bane. Mayhap a revolution in the living of our beings." Frog seemed to become greener, and he shivered nervously. Then, he chuckled and looked directly at Magus, then at the camera.

Magus suddenly regained his old appearance, and glanced maliciously at Frog.

"Viewers, hath any of ye had a Magus of a clog in thine privy? Such a horror in thy water closet?" asked the frog knight with relish.

Magus glared furiously at Frog. "That was below the belt," he growled, as he wiggled his fingers meaningfully, as if casting a spell.

Not wanting to have Dark Matter unleashed on him, Frog decided that discretion truly was the better part of valor. "I hath not. But…"

Magus decided it was time to make his move. He would AVENGE the embarrassing photo, embarrass Frog, and outdo the amphibian knight's scheme.

Lucca groaned. The script had fallen apart, but she had to complete the broadcast. She had promised to deliver…she couldn't risk being called unreliable. This had to work! None of her inventions seemed to work right!

Magus seemed to expand, pushing Frog off the podium. The former prince certainly knew how to get attention, as his cape billowed in a magically created wind. "None of us has ever had a Magus of a clog; however, we've all had FROGS of CLOGS in our thrones!"

"Thunder boxes," added Crono.

"Let me at him!" Frog drew the Masamune and Magus summoned his Doomsickle.

"Don't even try to attack, little froggie, or I'll make you croak!" he laughed, deep and wicked.

Lucca rolled her eyes at the awful pun.

Magus continued. "Normally, this would be very bad. In fact, most people would be hopping mad!" A startling change had come over Magus: his pale skin had become more colored, and his eyes were approaching a bluish, almost human, hue.

Frog sheathed the Masamune and shoved the dark wizard off the dais. However, Magus was anything if not very tenacious, and he pulled himself back onto the stage.

"Before you go jumping to conclusions, there is a better way to go about things."

Frog shoved Magus off again and drew the Masamune. "Cease thy prattling, or thine offensive tongue shall be extracted!" Frog pointed the tip of the Masamune at the wizard and continued.

"The piping of your porcelain pedestal is twisted and contorted, akin to the ways of a wizard!"

Magus flared in anger, and leaped in front of the camera; both Frog and Magus had made it a mission to be the center of attention.

"However, we have a better way to remove Frog from your toilet's throat! Presenting the Masadoom!" The sorcerer crooned.

For a moment, neither Frog nor Magus spoke. Crono and Ayla wheeled out a transparent plastic demonstration toilet, clogged with wire and similar debris. Beside it were two plungers, one a Taban Special, a popular red rubber plunger, the other a black and gold plunger, with a silvery handle.

Lucca sighed in relief; this was her part. She left the camera and walked over to the transparent toilet, motioning for Robo, Ayla, and Marle to step in and calm the delighted and laughing Magus and the peeved and infuriated Frog.

"As you will notice, this bowl is clogged with more trash than even the most severe stoppage would normally cause. Thus, the Taban Special is powerless. Crono?"

Crono approached and put the Taban Special through its paces. No change with the clog.

"What do you mean, be decent? Tell that amphibian wretch to bow and worship me or I'll return him to his native habitat!" Magus pointed at the transparent loo.

"Foul cur! I shall rid the world of him!"

Lucca did her utmost to ignore the spat. "The Masadoom combines the materials used to make the Masamune and the Doomsickle for the ultimate plunger. The Masamune part allows for a higher number of critical hits to ensure removal of the plug, while the Doomsickle part does two things. The less help one receives, the higher the Doomsickle's attack; since few are willing to help a person do this job, you will have maximum power. Secondly, it uses dark magic to evaporate the clog from inside out."

Magus realized it was time to be in the limelight. Ignoring Marle and Frog's protests, he leaped forth and grabbed the Masadoom.

"This is a tool worthy of me!"

Frog immediately burst into laughter.

"Magus! Wait!" gasped Lucca. "You can't! It's not ready…"

"Critical hit!" shouted Magus as he wildly stabbed the Masadoom into the bowl. Immediately, every LuccaVision in the land displayed an enormous explosion, combined with the twin spinning triangles of Dark Matter.

As the picture cleared, it was apparent that everyone had survived; in fact, except for Magus, everyone was unscathed. However, the dark wizard was soaked, holding a silvery stump in his hands.

Frog, for a moment stunned by the blast, burst into redoubled laughter.

Crono sniggered. "And so the crapper hits the fan."

Magus just stood for a moment, salvaging what little pride he could. Finally, he spoke. "Shame, little froggie! That was your home, and one of your clog countrymen!"

"Foul fiend! Thou shall be taught a lesson!"

At that moment, the LuccaVision camera, soaked with water, burst into flames and failed.

Thus was Guardia's first television genre founded: live action comedy.

* * *

If you didn't like this, just remember that this is probably the most obscure fic I will ever write; however, it was the sort of thing that demanded to be set down in writing. Well, what did you think? Please review (giving constructive criticism where needed.) If you think this should become a multi-chapter fic, please say so. Hopefully, you've enjoyed this read, in spite of the literal toilet humor. 


	2. Shades of Flame

Shades of Flame  
(c) 2004 by hyperdrive

No, I'm afraid I don't own the characters of Chrono Trigger. Sorry for the inconvenience. I also do not own Rosa, Golbez, Final Fantasy IV's soundtrack or characters, stage lights, form fitting leather pants, MST3K, a castle set, "Theme of Love," "Golbez, Clad in Darkness," "Cry in Sorrow," and "Prologue."

Before reading this, be warned, for while this episode contains few, if any, euphemisms, it may or may not contain: a terrible literary construction, a small amount of crude humor, a subplot purposefully going where too many subplots have gone before, suicidal bad breath, insanity, and characters temporarily out of character. Read at your own risk, and please review, lest you be eaten by a Grue. Note that Grues are (were?) copyright by Infocom, an old computer game firm that may / may not still exist.

Special Tip for this Chapter: Part of this can be very loosely considered 'songfic' material. You don't need to hear any music to enjoy this episode, but it certainly helps set the mood. If possible, try to play Final Fantasy IV's "Theme of Love," "Golbez, Clad in the Dark," "Cry in Sorrow," and "Prologue" when the episode calls for it. MIDI versions work just fine. If you've never played Final Fantasy IV, just ignore the brief references to Rosa, Golbez, and Final Fantasy IV. They aren't vital.

Your Reviews At Work: Finally, a recurrent glitch regarding Lucca's eye and hair color has been repaired. Thanks for the tip, Wing Omega!

* * *

Lucca Ashtear shook her head dejectedly. Her friends, Marle and Crono looked on sympathetically as she angrily picked up a newspaper from the table in front of her and tore it into the smallest shreds she could manage.

"Well, it could have been worse, Lucca," said Crono.

"Worse! Worse he says! Look at this! How on earth could this be worse?" Lucca held up an undamaged newspaper from the table and held it up in front of Crono.

"Demonstration of LuccaVision a Comedy of Errors," read the swordsman. "You know, I still say it could've been worse."

"Yeah?" Lucca scooped up a magazine, _Science Weekly_, from the table and read, "Of the LuccaVision, Dr. Von Heinrich said, "It is trash, a mere laboratory novelty item best used to entertain the weak-minded. Just the content of that broadcast says it all." Lucca tore the magazine in half, allowing the pieces to fall to the floor of her room.

When Lucca tore her favorite magazine in half, containing an article written by her favorite scientist, it was obvious that the inventor was enraged beyond belief. Marle gulped. "We could… I don't know… maybe we could try again?"

Crono's eyes widened slightly at Marle's suggestion. "I'm sure that's not necessary."

Unfortunately, it was too late for Marle to recall her statement. Already, the gears in Lucca's mind were spinning at maximum velocity.

"Of course! Since when do I, Lucca the Great, give in? Garharhar!" Lucca turned towards her workbench, where the barbecued remains of the LuccaVision camera, formerly Marle's camera, lay. "Crono, fetch me a screwdriver! Marle, could you get me some tea?"

Crono began slowly backing away from Lucca. "Um, Lucca, I don't think–"

"Crono, how much do you want a starring role?" Lucca turned to the swordsman and smiled, her normally pleasant countenance becoming somehow quite menacing.

The swordsman in question gaped in abject horror.

"I thought so. Now, please fetch the screwdriver."

"Of course," Crono replied, quickly handing her the tool.

"Calling my inventions frivolous… how dare they…" Lucca began working on the camera.

"Geez, you sound like Magus with his ego bruised," Crono muttered.

Lucca thought about that for a moment before chuckling. "He does sound that way, doesn't he?"

Marle entered the room with a pitcher of tea.

"Thank you, Marle. Now, guys, listen. We are not going to do a commercial for this new broadcast. We are going to do something more serious."

"Like a documentary?"

"That's much too dry, Crono. We are going to do something that will awaken within the audience emotion!" Lucca made a fist and punched it dramatically into the air. "I want the works! Lights! Camera! Action! I want emotion! Drama! It needs a hero, and a heroine! You see how well tickets to plays dealing with romance sells, don't you guys?"

"I think I may have misheard. You didn't say that we were doing romance, did you?"

"Your point is, Crono?"

"Heaven have mercy on our poor forsaken souls," Crono moaned.

"We could always do that documentary," said Marle hopefully.

"LuccaVision needs rave reviews. You know as well as I do that romance sells. We'll make a play of the book, _Shades of Flame_. It's short, popular, and I know the author personally"

"Never heard of it," said Marle.

Lucca gave the princess an incredibly sour look.

Crono shook his head. "Lucca, I would rather fight Lavos Core with a mop."

"Well, there are only two starring roles, and you don't have to get one. Ah! It was this capacitor that cookified!"

Crono and Marle looked at each other doubtfully. "Cookified?"

"This poor little guy must have died just as the water hit him," Lucca held up an empty topless cylinder, carefully roasted to an perfect golden brown. "Your sacrifice was not in vain! LuccaVision shall arise like a phoenix from your ashes, brave component!"

Marle's facial expression betrayed the fact that she was obviously unable to fathom the incredible logic behind this sort of behavior.

"Um, Lucca?" said Crono.

"Crono! This capacitor met its end to advance the cause of science!"

Crono smiled and nodded. "Ah, of course!"

Lucca replaced the part and installed batteries in the camera. Turning on a LuccaVision set resting on the bench, she activated the camera, sighing in relief as the LuccaVision displayed the camera's image flawlessly. "Perfect! Now we need to get the others!"

Crono took a deep breath, deciding that it was high time to put an end to this endeavor. He resolved to be firm and resolute. "Lucca, we should–"

"Get going. It's not even noon yet. Crono, ask Robo to come; Marle, get Frog and Ayla. I'll look for Magus."

"Lucca, I ain't doin' this!" Crono said.

"Oh?" Lucca looked genuinely hurt.

"I don't want to repeat the Masadoom incident."

"Well, Crono, we won't."

"I say we should simply ignore what the press says. LuccaVision works."

"Crono, they have affronted my honor as a scientist and inventor. You're a swordsman, so you know what I have to do."

"You can't kill the whole kingdom, Lucca."

"Stop thinking like a barbarian! I simply intend on making them eat their words, like a child being force-fed Brussels sprouts and livers! Honor must be restored civilly. Besides, if that doesn't persuade you, then I'd like you to know that I have a backup plan."

"Backup plan?" Crono said uncertainly. Lucca was wearing her patented 'either way, I win' look.

"I'm sure that with a bit of research, I can figure out how to reduce the size of a LuccaVision camera. I'm sure you don't want the world to know that you still wear Zoom Rocket footie pajamas."

"They're _footsie _pajamas!" Crono moaned desperately. "Alright, I'll do it!"

* * *

Lucca climbed into the Epoch with Crono and Marle, promising to drop them off, and then swing by a bit later to pick them up.

"You really wear...footie pajamas?" Marle giggled from the back seat.

"Shut up," Crono growled. "Lucca, I'm never going to forgive you for this."

The Epoch rose gently into the air with Lucca's guiding hand at the controls. "When we get the von Klopman prize or something similar, you can thank me."

"Magus'll never agree."

"We'll see, Crono."

Epoch suddenly shot forwards, vanishing from the present and reappearing in the future. After dropping Crono off, Lucca set the Epoch for 600 A.D., Frog's time period. After Marle disembarked, Lucca flew to the past, 12,000 B.C.

* * *

Magus proved surprisingly easy to find. A dark spot on the snow that perpetually covered the ground in this time period, the dark wizard stood out. Landing nearby, Lucca stepped out of the Epoch into the snow.

The wizard glanced at her briefly. "I knew you'd be back here, woman."

The slight grin Lucca had been wearing changed to her best poker face. "Hello, Magus."

"Has Marle organized another 'celebration?' Or," Magus chuckled, turning to face Lucca, "did you simply miss me?"

"Magus, I want to ask you to come and participate in another broadcast of LuccaVision."

"No." Magus turned and began to walk away.

"It'll be fun!" Lucca whined.

"FUN?" Magus momentarily lost control and spun around to face her, his cape flaring out around him. "Last time I did something you'd call fun, the entire Kingdom of Guardia was watching a toilet explode in my face!"

"Frog's going to be there."

Magus had fully regained control of himself and would not be easily baited. "Give him a starring role and he'll flush himself out of the picture."

"Magus…" There has to be a way to convince him, she reflected, completely at a loss for further persuasive techniques.

"What's it about, anyway?"

"We're going to do a play on the LuccaVision."

"That's not an answer. What kind?"

"Romance."

Magus contemplated momentarily, revealing no emotion. "How are the parts being selected?"

"We are going to draw lots."

The wizard looked out over the snow-covered plain in silence. Lucca heard him grit his teeth. "Maybe it is time to move on."

"Huh?"

Magus turned to face the inventor. The wizard's mood abruptly changed, and a cocky smirk appeared on his face. "Very well! I'll do it, Lucca."

"You can only do it if you give me your word that your performance will be up to my expectations."

Magus nodded. "Of course it will be. I'm a prince. My expectations of myself are much higher than yours could ever be."

They boarded the Epoch, Magus taking the pilot's seat before Lucca could.

"Hey!"

"Is for horses," Magus replied drolly as he strapped himself in.

Moments later, the skies of 12,000 B.C. flashed with light as the Epoch left for 600 A.D.

* * *

Unfortunately, Ayla had been off on a hunt, and Marle had been unable to find her. It was for all the better.

"Lady Lucca! What malady seized thee to permit beastly access to Epoch's controls?" Frog rasped as he, Magus, Lucca, Marle, Crono, and Robo disembarked from Epoch near Lucca's house. The amphibian knight struggled to keep his heaving stomach under control.

"He got to them before I could stop him!" Lucca protested.

Magus coughed in a painfully obviously fake manner. Fully aware that any hostile actions taken against him might crash Epoch, Magus had used Epoch as an instrument of annoyance against Frog. During his time as pilot, Epoch's cooling system had 'failed,' producing only hot, dry air through the air conditioning vents. The entire trip to Lucca's house had plagued with 'turbulence.' Frog's repeated protests had been met with much mockery.

"Frog of a clog," Magus chuckled.

Frog looked like he was ready to explode before he calmed down and countered. "This is a tool worthy of me!" he trumpeted, imitating the pomp in Magus's voice with remarkable accuracy.

Magus prepared to explode.

"Guys, pleeeeaaaasseee!" Marle moaned.

"Hey, I have absolutely no grudges against Tadpole," said Magus.

"Thank you, Marle. Magus, quit misbehaving. Alright, we are going to be doing a romance. It will be just like a play, and we will have a rehearsal before going on the air. Therefore, I expect things to go smoothly, Magus," Lucca said in her most commanding voice.

Magus shrugged innocently. "Right, Frog?"

"MAGUS!" shouted Marle.

"Anyway, we are going to LuccaVise a play of the book, _Shades of Flame_. It's short, easy to memorize, and has only two main characters, Jacky, the hero, and Laura, the heroine. Now, give me just a moment inside."

Lucca walked into her house, returning a moment later with a black metal can. "Inside this can are papers, cut to various lengths. I'll pass it around. Reach in, take _one_," she said, glaring at Magus, "_without_ feeling around or casting an enchantment, and hold onto it. Don't show your paper to anyone, don't steal anyone else's paper, and don't trade. Oh, Crono, draw one in each of your hands, right for me, left for you."

One by one, they passed the jar around, each person putting his or her hand in and grabbing a paper, concealing what they had taken.

Finally, the papers had been alloted. As everyone took a moment to peer at their papers, Frog grinned while Magus scowled at the hidden slip in his hand.

"I'll bring the can inside," said Lucca. She turned around and walked into the house. Before she vanished inside, she called, "Everyone, show your papers to Robo. Robo, you are the best impartial judge."

Everyone gave their papers to Robo while Robo, Crono, Marle, Magus, and Frog waited for Lucca.

"Heh. Trying to compensate for something, Frog?" asked Magus.

"Perchance thy paper scrap merely mirrors a sad truth," Frog responded.

Everyone but Frog, Magus, and the absent Lucca groaned.

A spat of legendary proportions seemed inevitable until Lucca emerged from the house. "OK, Robo, shortest for the hero, longest for the heroine."

Immediately, Frog's eyes widened as he gaped with horror. Magus's left hand immediately wrapped around the wizard's throat and constricted in an almost reflexive action.

"Let's see the papers," said Lucca, ignoring Crono's struggle to stop the wizard from committing suicide.

Magus' paper was shortest, less than an inch long, while Frog's was longest, at eleven inches. Lucca's paper was slightly shorter than Frog's, while the others were shorter still.

Crono successfully pulled Magus's hand from his throat. The wizard regained his self control.

"N-no," Magus grated.

"For once, I doth find mineself agreeing with thee," gasped Frog.

Everyone but Magus and Frog burst into laughter. Magus' face grew redder and redder while Frog grew greener and greener.

"Well, you'll have the perfect opportunity to kiss and make up, won'tcha, Magus?"

"Stop it!" shouted Lucca before Magus could rip out Crono's throat. "Frog, you run the camera. I'll do it."

The word 'relief' took on a whole new meaning as Frog and Magus sighed, for the moment truly at peace.

* * *

Frog cast a critical eye on the repaired and upgraded LuccaVision camera. "Lady Lucca, please refresh in mine memory the operations of this mechanization?"

"Sure." Lucca, in the guise of the heroine Laura, began explaining the operation of the redesigned LuccaVision camera.

It was the big night of the broadcast. Lucca, Marle, Frog, Crono, Robo, and Magus had spent two weeks making sure that this broadcast would go off without a hitch. To ensure that enough people would see the broadcast to restore positive public opinion of LuccaVision, Lucca had built enough LuccaVision sets to distribute three sets to each major public meeting place within clear reception range. As before, King Guardia, Melchior, and Lucca's parents had been provided with sets. A set had also been sent to _Science Weekly_, though whether or not they were even going to try it out remained to be seen. As for the play itself, the scripts had been carefully studied and restudied. The actors had rehearsed their parts until they followed the script exactly. Lucca had extracted from Magus and Frog an oath not to bicker. The sets had been built and decorated just as described in the script, a task perfectly suited to Robo's unmatched construction skills and critical eye for mechanical detail. Sound effects had also been taken care of: Lucca had devised a device Robo could use to inject audio directly into the camera. Though the sets were excellent, the sound stage, the Guardia High high school theater was not ideal, as the best location for the camera, the theater's lighting control room, was too far from the stage to hear or see the play well. Lucca had compensated for the problems with...

"We are able to use this theater because of my two latest inventions: the zoom lens and the remote semi-unidirectional external microphone," said Lucca. "Just rotate this ring on the camera's zoom lens to make the set look closer or farther." Lucca demonstrated how to do this to Frog. "The remote semi-unidirectional external microphone is right there," Lucca pointed to a small black box hanging above the stage. "It is connected by a wire to the camera. Since the stage is too far away to hear anything from here, the microphone will pick up the sound at the stage."

"What might this wheel be?"

"It's the audio selector dial. It has three positions." Lucca set it to the first position. "This uses the camera's internal microphone to pick up sound. We won't be using that. This," the inventor set the dial to the second position. "is the external microphone position. We'll use this one for the play. Finally," Lucca clicked the dial to the final position, "this is the stereo mix feature. In its current configuration, it takes audio from both the camera's internal microphone and the external microphone and mixes them together."

"I am only a lowly knight, milady. I fear that this may be too complex for one such as I."

"Fear not. The camera is already set up. All you need to do is look into this, the viewfinder, use these levers to aim the camera at the actors, and adjust the zoom lens ring to make the set look closer. Everything else is already set up for you. Here, try it."

Frog tried it. "The camera's mounting contrivance is quite noisy when adjusted. Whilst this become a matter of difficulty?"

Lucca laughed. "That's the beauty of an external microphone. The only thing the camera can hear is the action on the stage and the audio output of the sound effect console," Lucca pointed at the two wires extending from a small hole in the console beside the camera into the camera itself. Lucca turned on the camera. "It's almost show time! Frog, when I give the signal, press this button to turn off the camera's test pattern, and then aim at the stage so the play can begin."

Lucca turned to Robo, who was standing behind the sound effect console. "Almost ready?"

"I'm ready, Lucca." Robo suddenly appeared slightly puzzled. "Lucca, after the final rehearsal, Crono mentioned that our last attempt to demonstrate LuccaVision was unintentionally humorous. Could you elaborate?"

The inventor frowned. "Unintentionally humorous, eh? I'll tell you a little later. Good luck, Robo, Frog."

Lucca walked into the theater storage room directly behind the theater control room. Immediately, she was greeted with the site of a half-in-costume Marle trying to help Crono pull on his costume's headgear. Magus was in costume and combing his blue hair to its full length, occasionally checking it nervously in a mirror. Between self-concious glances into the mirror, Magus looked on with amusement at Crono's predicament.

"I'm not doing that! It's far to perverted! It never tried to hurt you before, did it?"

"It's the only way to get it to work right, Crono," said Marle, who was doing a surprisingly good job of suppressing laughter, given her bubbly disposition.

"Lucca, why couldn't we try these costumes on before the play," cried Crono. "It doesn't fit right!"

Crono had been the obvious choice for the Shade prince Ozzel of Vector, leader of Noctis, a nation of swordsmen and warriors; however, his costume's headgear, a very inexpensive somewhat metallic-looking plastic helmet with shaped white plastic tubes for horns, was proving a challenging obstacle. While a brief earlier test had shown that the helmet looked quite realistic on a LuccaVision, Crono's abundant hair proved an unfortunately overlooked factor in the design of the helmet. The swordsman's hair refused to stay cooped up inside the cap, and when he wore the helmet, painfully obvious red tufts sprouted out from the holes at the tips of the horn-tubes. Worse, the hair was slowly pushing the hat off Crono's head, and whenever the swordsman pushed it back down, the tufts grew substantially, becoming longer, messier, and puffier. He looked more like a jester than a fearsome warrior.

"The school would only let us use them once." Lucca said.

"Marle, hold him down. I have the scissors," said Magus. Marle grabbed Crono's shoulders as Magus approached, snipping the scissors and thrusting them like a sword. The overall impression was of a trapped rat being approached by a snake.

Chrono cowered. "Not the hair!"

Magus trimmed the plastic tubes slightly. The effect was much more aesthetically pleasing tufts.

"Crono, I would not ask anyone to touch that hair of yours. I don't know what you use to spike it like that, but my suspicion is not tasteful," Magus said sternly.

"Hey, don't pick on Crono," said Lucca and Marle. Marle put her arms around the traumatized swordsman.

"Just hair gel..." Crono murmured.

"Enough hair gel to spike it like that is exactly what I meant," said Magus.

Marle finished putting on her costume.

"OK, are we ready?"

All replies to Lucca's question were positive.

"Then we are ready!"

* * *

Lucca appeared on stage in front of the curtain. "Frog, we have a story sign in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!"

Frog promptly did his duty, turning off the test pattern, aiming the camera at Lucca, and focusing the zoom lens on her.

Lucca took a breath. "_Shades of Flame_. In the world of Gaurida, were two countries: The Noctis, feared shadow warriors of immense power and genius, and the Ignis, great mages with the magic to unlock the most hidden secrets of the universe. These two nations reflected the great Gauridan legend of creation. During the creation of the human race, the legend states there were two 'Adams' and two 'Eves,' one set of 'Adams' and 'Eves' possessing magic, the other lacking mystical power. The magic users were the Flames, and became the nation of Ignis, while those who lacked magic were Shades, becoming the nation of Noctis.

"For thousands of years, the two nations were ruled by good kings. However, with the ascension of Ozzel of Vector, prince of Shades, to the throne of Noctis, chaos has fallen over the land, as he has begun to wage a terrible war against the peaceful nation of Flame, Ignis."

As Lucca was speaking, "Frog, what is humor?" asked Robo.

"Sir Robo, humor names a concept of emotion," Frog replied. "Thy question is best demonstrated, it canst be shown."

"It is in the very heart of this struggle, when the situation of the world is at its most dire, when the High Mage Lord, King Jacky of Flames, the young ruler of Ignis, snuck into the courtyard of the cliff side palace of Shades, to discover information with which to gain the upper hand, ending the war. No one has realized that in the span of one windy, moonless evening, the fate of Guarida will be decided. Here begins the First Act: Sacred Meeting of Love." Lucca finished the introduction and disappeared backstage.

Frog chuckled from his post at the camera as he set up the camera's zoom lens to bring the set into closer focus. That title had always struck him as entertaining, if not completely cliché.

Robo pressed the 'applause' button on his console. The audio was injected into the camera's audio system and played over the sound effect console's speakers.

As the curtain raised flawlessly, the soft rustling of fabric ushering in the performance, Frog turned away from the camera towards Robo and spoke. "Dost thou see the humor, Robo? The titling of Lady Lucca's play's first act, Sacred Meeting of Love, is of humorous disposition."

"It is clichéd, somewhat unoriginal, and corny. That is humor?"

"A mere facet of the full concept," Frog grinned and looked back into the viewfinder. "Oh!"

The seat of Magus's black leather pants, tinted bluish from the stage lights save a thin vertical black shadow in the center, filled Frog's viewfinder. Quickly the amphibian knight zoomed out to the correct setting. "Forsooth, he hath a wedgie," said the knight, almost sympathetically.

The dark wizard was dressed in his usual fashion, wearing semi-formfitting purple-black leather pants, jack boots, a bluish purple shirt, brown leather gloves, and a long blue cape. Surprisingly, the book's description of Jacky had been identical to Magus's standard choice of wardrobe. The wizard's back was facing the audience, and he was partly hidden by a small copse of bushes on the set. Magus's cape was billowing off to his left.

Robo pressed a button on his console, and loud footsteps and shouts filled the air.

"We can't let him escape! Men, follow me!" shouted Crono, AKA Ozzel of Vector. The teenage swordsman ran across the stage, katana drawn, costume armor rattling like a dollar store plastic morocco. "He must be headed for the main gate!"

Robo pressed another button on his console, and the footsteps and shouts died down.

Magus, AKA Jacky, emerged from the bushes. He seemed upset about something.

"My presence has been discovered, and I shall never escape this castle with my life. Woe to this world of Guarida, and to the House of Flames! The power of even the Lord of a kingdom of mages cannot stand against a castle of master swordsmen!" Jacky looked around worriedly and took a step back. A branch from the copse of bushes snapped underfoot loudly.

Robo suddenly emitted a strange groaning sound. Frog turned to face his robot friend. "Art thou feeling well?"

"Humor. The role of Jacky has so far demonstrated a highly clichéd situation, corny dialog, and overacting."

"Thou art catching on well," Frog applauded. "Definitely overacting."

"There! Stand back men, this is a matter of personal honor!" Ozzel appeared on stage again, waving his katana menacingly. Flashes of light from the blade flickered in the camera's viewfinder.

A battle between Jacky and Ozzel commenced, replete with sound effects from Robo.

The camera's mount ground away noisily as Frog struggled to keep the action in the viewfinder. The viewfinder image jittered wildly, oscillating unpredictably in a motion-sickness inducing roller coaster ride around the dimly lit castle set. Quickly, the frog-knight realized that the far easier technique was to zoom out slightly, thus capturing all of the action.

The battle raged for several minutes. Frog began to chuckle.

"Thine movements are exaggerated, oh fiend Ozzel! Hero Jacky dares not to lay a spell on thee: he doth pull his punches!"

On stage, Jacky cast a weak Dark Bomb spell and hurled it towards Ozzel. The spell dissipated before impact, and Ozzel crumpled to the ground, clutching his chest and groaning.

"Thine spell's aura hath immense potency! Lo, it destroys even what it doth not touch! O, agony! O, pain! O..., what horrible overacting," said Frog, as Ozzel continued to flop around on stage, wheezing, coughing, and spluttering like an cockroach having a seizure. "Exaggeration and misinterpreted gesture art also of humorous nature, Robo. Ozzel shouldst be dead, yet..."

Jacky hid in the shadows next to a small tower on the set while Ozzel jumped up to his feet.

"You all forget about me. Get Jacky!" shouted Ozzel.

"Because Ozzel misses him," said Robo.

Jacky hid in the shadows while Robo played footsteps and shouts again. Once again, the noise died down.

A blue light shined down on Jacky, revealing ivy vines growing beside him.

Frog spoke: "And lo, Jacky didst jump this mortal coil, ascending yon heavenly ivy."

"Perhaps this is the will of fate," said Jacky, the bold tone of his voice obviously fake as he struck a dramatic pose, "that I infiltrate the keep of the enemy fortress!" He promptly began climbing the ivy.

Suddenly, Jacky stopped.

Lucca's voice, AKA Laura's voice came from the window above the Lord of Flames.

"Aunt de Lune, it is an evil thing we do to fight the Ignis! We must stop Uncle, this war is insane!"

Marle, AKA Lady de Lune of Shades, appeared at the window. "Your Uncle is a good man, honey. He is not insane! The Ignis possess terrible powers, heretical powers that threaten our nation. You should support him, instead of playing with your inventions."

Frog blinked as Robo turned to face the amphibian knight. "Um, shouldn't the women be worried that their fortress has been infiltrated?"

"Nay, friend Robo. The fortress hath been infiltrated by the Good Guy, and the chivalrous Good Guys may never bring harm to a lady."

"Ah."

"You just don't understand, Aunt! No one understands me," said Laura.

"How dare you question me, Laura? Your uncle and I took you in after the death of your parents and raised you just like our own! You ungrateful thing," Marle's voice replied.

Robo pressed a button on his console. The sound of a wet towel being snapped like a whip sounded.

An earlier statement of Lucca's / Laura's had the wheels in Frog's mind turning as he abruptly made a strangling noise. "No, it can't be!"

"What can't be, Frog?"

"Sir Robo, I—this tale—I think it mayhap be...! No, Lady Lucca hath not committed...!"

"Wouldn't have committed what, Frog?"

"The Lady is...!"

"Oh no, no way!" Robo may have been having difficulty comprehending human concepts like humor, but he still looked as horrified as a robot could. The implications of Frog's very suggestion as to the hidden identities of the lead characters were too terrible for words.

Marle spoke. "Now be quiet and sleep!"

Robo pressed another button, and the sound of a door closing was heard.

Magus / Jacky climbed higher up the vines and looked into the window. Then, holding onto the vines, he faced the camera and spoke overly dramatically, with his eyes downcast. "She is beautiful like the evening stars, with eyes like the blues of sunset, secreted behind glasses. Her hair is of the finest Tyrian royal purple: she is gorgeous!"

Frog was having difficulty containing himself. Somehow, the wizard had been completely beaten into submission by Lucca: a line more contrary to the character of Magus could not have been uttered. Then the amphibian knight paled. He and Robo had practiced their technical roles during rehearsals, never seeing the whole play acted out. Now that he was actually witnessing the play, his idea, too terrible to think, was becoming more and more plausible. Had Lucca truly stooped so low? Were the others trying too hard to make the play a success to notice the true horror of what they were doing? Was Magus's wounded ego too cowed by his character's un-Magus-like behavior to notice the monster Magus was feeding with his performance? Frog shoved the possibility to the back of his mind. It was a dire thing to even contemplate.

"If only my prince would come! Ah, fair lord from afar, if only to look upon your comely face, if only for an instant!"

"I would consider speaking in full and complete sentences," said Robo, completing Laura's incomplete statement. Apparently, he had also pushed the play's possible hidden agenda to the back of his computerized mind.

"O Lady of Shade, you are as lovely as thy voice: I am afflicted by thee!" said Jacky.

", for thou hast given me a cold," said Frog. The knight shivered.

Laura called, "Who is there? Show yourself to me!"

"I cannot show myself, unless you give me your sacred vow of protection."

Laura paused for a moment. "It is given."

Robo made his metallic laughing sound again. "Of course, it is quite common for a young woman to allow a strange person climbing the vines under her bedroom window to enter her room."

"Thou hast discovered sarcasm: a truer and finer blade than Masamune itself," said Frog with a laugh. The knight-turned-frog became somber. "We may need it."

The spotlights lighting Magus turned off, and Frog adjusted the camera to observe a different area of the set, a room representing Lady Laura's bedroom. The bedroom was somewhat sparsely furnished, and illuminated by 'candlelight' (two broken stage lights with orange and yellow filters.) Lucca, AKA Lady Laura, was sitting on a regal-looking bed in the middle of the room, waiting for Magus to make the trek from one area of the set to the other. A black window-shaped opening on the wall represented the window. A moment later, the wizard's face appeared at the opening.

Lady Laura looked towards the window and got up from the bed. "You are dressed strangely: you are not a knight of Noctis?"

"Laura sees Jacky's head and she knows how he is dressed? She has X-Ray vision!"

"X-Ray vision, sir Robo?"

"She sees through the stone castle walls."

"Ah," the amphibian knight chuckled.

Jacky did not reply.

"Then you are a mage of Ignis!" said Laura. She turned towards the door to the room.

Robo turned a knob on his console, and the sweet notes of the legendary queen Rosa's 'Theme of Love,' with its wanting strings, yearning flutes, and affectionate harps welling up with beautiful music.

Jacky leaped through the window, seizing her by her shoulders and covering her mouth before she could cry out. "Forgive me, my Lady, I have no intention to cause you harm. I am Jacky, of the House of Flames," he turned her to face him and looked into her eyes. They remained that way for a moment. Then Magus / Jacky blinked and cocked his head. He released her.

"You are the man my uncle has been seeking!" Lucca / Lady Laura promptly barred the door. "You'll be safe until morning here. I am Lady Laura."

"She hast no clue that he is a king," said Frog. "What incredible density."

The curtain dropped, and Lucca came forward as the "Theme of Love" played. "And so, the pair spent the evening waiting for morning. They spoke of their kingdoms, of their ambitions, of their desires, and of their dreams. By morning, fondness had become love, and in the early hours of morning, they left the castle for Ignis. But at the edge of the sea cliffs, Ozzel caught up with them, and a terrible battle occurred between the young King of Ignis and the dark ruler of Noctis. Here begins Act Two: Emotional Victory."

Robo faded out "Theme of Love," replacing it with "Golbez, Clad in the Dark," the theme of the legendary villain Golbez. As the music's villainous pipe organ, dastardly choir, and hateful strings welled up, the curtain raised again. Frog groaned while Robo chuckled.

Magus / Jacky and Lucca / Laura ran from the left to the center of the stage. They stopped as Ozzel / Crono appeared at stage right, waving his katana.

"I have finally trapped you both! Prepare to meet your doom! Ungrateful wench!"

Jacky summoned the Doomsickle and pushed Laura behind him. "Laura is guilty of no crime!"

The mage and the warrior clashed in an obviously fake battle. Jacky backed up further and further towards the edge of the stage.

"And now, the killing blow!" shouted Ozzel. He swung his katana twice, each missing. For each swing, Robo pressed the sword sound effect button on his console. "Ching-Ching!"

Frog started, "Verily, the shockwaves from the blade slicing the air hath..."

"Ahhhhh!" Jacky / Magus vanished as he fell off the stage, out of the camera's field of view.

Robo and Frog looked at each other for a moment. The robot finally pressed a switch on the sound board. The stereotypical whistling sound of something falling from a great height played.

"Yes, the script actually called for that," said Robo.

Frog finished his earlier sentence: "Verily, the shockwaves from the blade slicing the air hath sent Jacky flying to his doom."

Robo turned down "Golbez, Clad in Darkness," replacing it with "Cry in Sorrow."

"You killed him! You killed him!" sobbed Laura, who knelt at the edge of the stage, staring down at an imaginary ocean. The mournful pianos of "Cry in Sorrow," added to the melodrama in all the wrong ways.

For a moment, Ozzel / Crono laughed wickedly. Soon, however, his laughing died down. "I've slain my worst enemy in cold blood," Ozzel murmured, "and I've turned my niece against me."

Laura continued to sob. "He was the only person who truly cared for me. He wanted peace. He thought my inventions were--"

Neither Frog nor Robo heard Lucca finish the line. There was no need to. There was no longer any doubt about the terror they were dealing with. Lucca had created a monster.

Robo turned off "Cry in Sorrow, replacing it with "Prologue," the theme music of the play Final Fantasy IV. Overly dramatic words echoed from the stage, joining with the triumphant notes of "Prologue." "Don't cry, my Lady."

Frog nearly hurled as cloying sugar sweetness flowed from the stage. Jacky stood, unharmed and looking downcast before the camera.

"The power of your love for me saved my life. It gave me the strength to go on, even when I was falling from the cliffs towards the cold, shallow, rocky sea below. I could not leave one such as you, Lady Laura," Magus / Jacky mumbled, his voice bubbling up from a sea of shame and self-loathing.

"Your love for each other has taught me the power of love, greater than any sword or magic," said Ozzel.

Jacky and Laura embraced as the curtain fell. The actors then came forwards to bow for the camera. It was the end.

"Verily we hast survived another LuccaVision broadcast, Lady Lucca," said Frog as Robo faded down "Prologue."

* * *

The show was over, and everyone was packing up. The costumes had to put away, and the school theater had to be cleaned.

Lucca was positively glowing with her assessment of the performance. As she stuffed paper from one of the sets into a garbage bag, she raved about the rave reviews the broadcast was going to receive.

Robo and Frog did their best not to simultaneously roll on the floor in laughter and cringe in horror as they put away the costumes.

Crono was silent as he swept the floor. Something had evidently disquieted him.

Marle was somewhat miffed. "No one ever got to see my character in action."

Frog and Robo knew that that was a Good Thing(c). No one had to truly realize her full connection with the atrocity.

As for Magus, the wizard was obviously deeply disturbed. Lucca had entrusted him with the task of putting away the electronic equipment, a task he was not doing, electing to instead stare at the floor.

When the amphibian knight passed close to the wizard, Magus called out to him.

"Frog."

"Speak, wizard."

"I was awful."

Frog nodded. Sometimes even the wizard was correct.

"I tried to do it like Lucca showed me. I tried to be dramatic for her. I gave Lucca my word. I could never go back on my word to her. I never go back on my word."

Frog blinked. The wizard was feeling remorse for having failed Lucca? Frog suddenly became very worried about the lifespan of the universe: Magus repenting about anything was surely a sign of the end.

"I ruined her play."

Seeing the wizard actually blaming himself for something was far too unusual for the likes of Frog. "Nay, it ruined itself."

"I soiled my honor."

"I hath not a change of honor for thee," said Frog.

Having his honor compared to a diaper was beyond Magus's tolerance. "THAT'S IT!" He summoned the Doomsickle.

"Stop it, Magus!" Lucca ran over. "Can't even put away a camera right."

Magus stopped his effort to kill Frog. Lucca suddenly gasped.

"What is it?" said Crono as everyone gathered around the inventor.

"Frog! Robo! I left the audio select in the stereo mix position! What were you guys talking about? The camera heard everything you said!"

Frog and Robo just looked at each other.

"Lucca, I've been wondering. Just who wrote _Shades of Flame_?" asked Crono. "I mean, Laura seemed kinda like--Jacky looked an awful lot like-"

The inventor stormed off. Magus reddened ever-so-slightly.

Frog and Robo had just MST'd the world's first Mary Sue Romance.


	3. Time Crisis: Rotational Advantage Part 1

Time Crisis: Rotational Advantage: Part I

(c) 2004 by hyperdrive

Disclaimer: As before, I have no claim of ownership to the characters of Chrono Trigger.

Note to Readers: When I originally decided to go multichapter with _The Masadoom and Company_, I planned on making each chapter its own self-contained vignette. However, no matter how hard I tried, I soon realized that not all situations could be decently treated within the framework of a single chapter or within the framework of isolated instances. Therefore, I now present episode three, the first two-part episode of _The Masadoom and Company_...

Oh, and by the way, I haven't forgotten about Ayla. She's simply biding her time...

* * *

Robo was in the lead. "So, just how mad do you think they are?" 

"Prithee, let us flee whilst we can, and ask such idle prattlings later," gasped Frog. The amphibian knight glanced back, at the Guardia High high school theater. All seemed quiet. However, they still had twenty seconds to live.

* * *

It was the end of the play. Frog and Magus were just about ready to start fighting when Lucca, who was putting away the camera, stopped them. Suddenly she gasped. 

"What is it?" said Crono as everyone gathered around the inventor.

"Frog! Robo! I left the audio select in the stereo mix position! What were you guys talking about? The camera heard everything you said!"

Frog and Robo just looked at each other.

"Lucca, I've been wondering. Just who wrote _Shades of Flame_?" asked Crono. "I mean, Laura seemed kinda like--Jacky looked an awful lot like-"

The inventor stormed off. Magus reddened ever-so-slightly. After several seconds, the mage prince turned towards Frog and Robo. His facial expression was carefully schooled, showing no emotion; however, his eyes betrayed suspicion.

"Alright you two, just what were you two talking about during the play? I couldn't hear you guys, but I could see your lips moving, Frog."

Frog and Robo glanced at each other again. Robo was about to start speaking when Lucca returned. The inventor did not look happy.

"Yes, what did you two say?"

All eyes were on Frog and Robo. Frog could feel cold sweat beading on his forehead and his heart was pounding as he internally panicked. Robo was making an unusual buzzing sound as he wracked his computerized mind for a diplomatic way to break the news to Magus, whose pride was already severely wounded by his out-of-character role in the play, and Lucca, whose efforts to make the LuccaVision a success had once again been mocked by cruel fate.

For a moment nothing was said.

Then Crono tried to help the unfortunate Frog and Robo out of their jam. He shook his head and said, "Man, you two are _so_ busted."

Lucca's eyes burned with fire. Magus summoned the Doomsickle from thin air.

The wizard spoke, his voice quiet but dripping with venomous hatred. "You two have two minutes before we hunt you down like dogs."

Lucca growled as she pulled out the Wondershot and cocked it.

Robo and Frog ran like hell.

Lucca and Magus watched them leave.

The inventor slumped onto the floor, unsuccessfully trying to hold back tears. "I don't know why it is, but no matter what I do, LuccaVision demonstrations always go wrong!"

Crono knelt and patted Lucca on the back. "Aw, Lucca, we'll always be right behind you."

"That's right," said Marle. "No matter what happens with LuccaVision, we'll always care about you. Even Magus will. Right, Magus?"

The wizard glanced at the door Frog and Robo had vanished through. Then he allowed himself to give the slightest of nods.

Lucca smiled a small smile. "Thanks, guys."

"Don't give up, Lucca. We'll try again."

Lucca and Marle gasped in surprise as they stared at Magus. Crono moaned and looked like he was about to die of fear and anguish.

Lucca asked Magus, "You want to try again? Why?"

Magus swallowed, the arrogance in his voice temporarily gone. "Um, I-I... I wasn't portrayed well in my last role. Besides," the wizard regained his bluster as he continued, "I need a chance to vindicate myself. And just because Frog's hopeless doesn't mean you should give up like some weakling."

Lucca stood and tried to dry her tears. "Weakling? G-g-give up?" Lucca choked as she spoke through her sob-constricted throat. "Never! I swear that I won't give up! Not until LuccaVision is a success! Besides, Lucca the Great has suffered setbacks before: I won't give up so easily! Garharharhar!"

Magus gaped, reddened ever-so-slightly, and started sweating as Lucca wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

"Magus, you're a lifesaver! How can I thank you?"

"You can release me," he growled.

The inventor complied. Magus grimaced and unsuccessfully attempted to wipe Lucca's tear-diluted snot off of his shirt with his gloves before it soaked into the fabric.

Crono was good enough not to snigger.

"Two minutes are now up," said Magus, and with that, he vanished.

* * *

"We are out of time." said Robo. 

Robo and Frog stopped and turned towards the high school on the horizon.

Frog spoke. "Perchance Lady Lucca art not too angered? Gah!"

The wizard materialized in front of Frog and Robo. "You two are coming with me," said Magus. "There may be some use for you yet."

There was no arguing with the wizard's tone of voice. Frog felt his stomach knotting up and welling up with acid as Magus marched his prisoners back to the theater.

* * *

When Frog, Robo, and Magus arrived back at the theater, Lucca, Marle, and Crono were having a meeting. As Magus entered with the fugitives, Lucca motioned for them to join the discussion. 

"We need to do something that is utterly and totally screw-up proof and idiot proof," said Lucca.

Crono shook his head. "Lucca, whenever we try to do something idiot proof, God invents better idiots."

"No, he just upgrades existing models," said Magus as he glared at Frog and Robo.

Frog began to launch his ultimate weapon. "This is a tool-"

Lucca was starting to look upset. Magus gave Frog a look sour enough to kill and the amphibian knight aborted launch.

"Maybe we can do that documentary," said Marle hopefully. "I mean, think about it. All we need to do is get someone to stand in front of the camera for an hour and read a research paper."

"I fall asleep whenever my teachers do that," said Crono.

At the mention of research, Lucca brightened up immediately. "Crono, you just need to have a love for learning, that's all," said Lucca enthusiastically. "Why, just before school ended for the summer, Doctor von Heinrich gave all of the honors students this wonderful speech about time-warp theory based off of the fourth dimensional hyperbolic trajectories of neutrinos when concentrated in an optical black hole and their continued relevance to..."

"Lucca, I'm asleep already," said Crono.

Lucca appeared crestfallen.

For several minutes, no one spoke.

Finally, the wizard rolled his eyes in impatience. "Let's just sleep on it," Magus growled. "Worked for the Zealians."

Crono interjected, "Except for that whole Lavos thing."

"But it's as good an idea as any," said Robo.

Lucca nodded. "Alright, let's meet at my place tomorrow morning."

* * *

Marle and Frog spent that evening at Guardia Castle. Crono went home. Magus and Robo agreed to stay with Lucca at her house. 

Lucca, Magus, and Robo arrived at Lucca's house just before dinner time. Before entering the house, Lucca gave the wizard some words of advice.

"Now, Magus, my parents can be kind of weird sometimes, and they haven't really met you like they have the others. Try not to be too rude, curt, weird, or disrespectful with them, OK?"

"I'm a prince. My standards of personal behavior are leagues beyond your own."

"Oh boy," Lucca groaned. She turned to Robo, who seemed to be unusually quiet even for an introspective robot.

"You alright?"

"I'm running low on propane for my delayed internal combustion generator," said Robo. "Do you have some here?"

"In my room. Do you need any help refueling?"

"My fuel is stored in microcompressed crystallized solid form. It will take twelve hours to completely refuel. No external aid is required, Lucca."

"Go up to my room and help yourself, then. It's the two tanks closest to the doorway on the left." Lucca opened the door and led everyone inside. Robo promptly went upstairs to Lucca's room.

"Hey, Lucca," said Taban, Lucca's father. "Who is this?"

"This is Magus, Dad," said Lucca. "I've told you a bit about him."

"A bit? My daughter has told me a lot about you," said Taban. He gave a jovial grin and extended his hand.

Magus nodded and shook his hand. "Good to meet you, sir," the wizard said stiffly.

"Lara! Lucca's brought one of her friends over for dinner," called Taban.

Lara appeared in the doorway leading to the kitchen and the dining room. "Hi Lucca. Oh, why hello! Lucca, why don't you introduce us to your friend?" Lara winked at Taban.

Taban seemed to consider something for a moment.

Lucca grinned, oblivious to the sinister plot underway. "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Magus."

"Pleasure to meet you," said Lucca's parents.

"Magus, these are my parents, Taban and Lara."

"The pleasure is mine," said Magus. The warlock bowed slightly.

"Mom, Dad, he needs a room this evening. Mind if he stays overnight?"

"Of course not, Lucca," said Taban. "I'll get the guest room ready after dinner."

"Honey, he looks like a very nice young man," said Lara. "I'll set an extra place for him at dinner." Lucca's mother disappeared into the kitchen.

"Thanks, Mom... I think," said Lucca. She blinked. Calling Magus a nice man was an extreme statement of historical ignorance and possible lurking insanity at best.

"Lara's not going to have dinner ready for a few hours, so why don't you two come on over here for a moment. I've just finished this little device that y'all might find nifty," said Taban. He sat down on a couch and motioned for Lucca and Magus to do the same.

Lucca and Magus sat down on either side of Taban. In front of the couch was a scratched, blistered, burn-scarred table, upon which sat a circuit board bristling with bare wires and various components. Beside the device sat a steaming cup of tea.

"Ok, guys, I've been fiddling with this ever since that first LuccaVision broadcast, and I think it'll finally work. Guess what it is?" Taban picked up the teacup and took a sip.

Lucca picked up the device enthusiastically, examining it from every angle. "You know, some of these parts look like radio tubes, but they're bigger than any I've ever built before. I'd guess it's some sort of radio."

"You're getting warm," said Taban. Lucca's father's eyes sparkled with excitement. It was thoroughly obvious where Lucca had gotten her love for inventing.

"Mind if I look?" said Magus.

Obviously unable to ascertain why the warlock might be interested in the device, Lucca blinked. "Ummm... sure, I guess." She handed the board to the wizard.

Magus examined it for a moment. Taban watched the wizard appreciatively, thrilled with the warlock's interest in his latest device, while Lucca watched with puzzlement. Magus had never seemed too interested in any technological device he'd come across, except maybe the Epoch.

Magus put the circuit board back on the table. "It's an amplifier for the LuccaVision, good for maybe fifty watts output. Needs to have a high voltage power supply added to work, though, because it needs a B voltage for the plates. Although why you are even using radio tubes is beyond me, as parallel-wired high power transistors are smaller, more durable, and take less power to do the same thing."

For a moment, both Taban and Lucca were stunned.

"Transistors, eh? Tell me more, please," said Taban. He took a gulp of tea.

Lucca finally could speak. "Magus, how on... where did you..."

"Basic electronics. Except for the theories, electronics are obsolete once you learn how to channel magical energy with machines."

"But where did you learn this stuff?"

"I lived in Zeal until I was ten. From birth I was taught by the three Gurus, the wisest men the world has ever known. Pre-magic electronics technology was Belthasar's hobby. We spent days fiddling with his old electronic junk collection."

"Now, about those transistors," Taban, demanded, shaking with a mix of tea caffeine and excitement. "Tell me a bit about them."

Magus and Taban promptly entered their own geeky world of obscure electronics jargon. Lucca watched in amazement as Magus and Taban enthusiastically tore apart the LuccaVision amplifier to start on a transistor based version.

Lucca's ears suddenly perked up.

Taban was amazed by Magus's promises for the transistor. "So, you're telling me that a piece of sand can do the work of that tube," Taban pointed at a fist sized radio tube on the table, "and without the power wasted to light a filament?"

"Yup, and so much more," said Magus. "Wait till we build a few microchips!"

Lucca was awed. The fact that Magus and Taban were suddenly acting like old buddies excited over the latest gizmo suddenly didn't seem so strange anymore. Magus and Taban's ear-to-ear grins and arcane electronics jokes became unnoticed details. Magus was speaking in terms that would have awed even Lucca's hero, Doctor Ernst von Heinrich. He had become a willing and enthusiastic teacher, a herald of veritable miracles.

"Come, Lucca, join us," said Magus jovially. "Now, unlike tubes, transistors are low impedance devices, based on N and P semiconductor silicon..."

Lucca wiped away a bit of drool as she obeyed his command, lost in the power of the wizard's powerful new aura.

At some point or another Lara emerged from the kitchen with fresh tea. She grinned as the trio each took a cup and drank.

* * *

Lucca couldn't help but pick at her food during dinner. Every so often, she would steal a glance at the wizard, who was seated across the table from her. Magus was eating his spaghetti with so much gusto that Lucca couldn't help but wonder if the Mystics had starved him when he was a child. 

Lucca closed her eyes and tried to come to grips with what had happened in the last few hours. Magus had actually been supportive of her and LuccaVision, even if it had been for the purpose of nursing his wounded ego. He was genuinely being civil, even friendly, with Lucca and her parents. To top it all, Magus was apparently a genius with electronics.

"Lucca, are you feeling well? You don't seem hungry," said Magus.

Lucca blinked and stared at the wizard. "Um, I'm fine, just thinking, that's all."

Ok, now she was officially freaked out. Magus had just expressed something resembling concern?!

"Honey, you do look a little pale," said Taban. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Is something wrong with the spaghetti? I thought it was your favorite, and I made it just as you like it," said Lara.

Lucca shook her head and smiled. "No, don't worry, I was just thinking about those transistors we were working on earlier." Lucca decided to think about the enigmatic wizard's behavior later, when she could think in peace.

"So, Magus, tell us a bit about yourself," said Lara.

"I-I don't really like to talk about my past," the wizard replied. "Sorry. It's sort of painful."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"That's quite alright, Mrs. Ashtear."

"Please, call me Lara, Magus."

"Very well, Lara."

Taban finished up his spaghetti. "Well, what brings you here from 600 A.D., Magus?"

Lucca heard the soft humming sound of the Doomsickle being summoned come from under the table. Here come the fireworks, she thought miserably as Magus went on the defensive, shifting in his seat slightly.

"You know who I am?"

"Calm down," said Lara. "Yes, we know. Magus, ruler of the Mystics."

"I will excuse myself, then," said Magus. He stood up, Doomsickle in hand, and bowed slightly. "It has been a pleasure meeting all of you. Thank you for dinner." He turned to leave.

"Magus, wait," said Lucca and Taban.

The wizard stopped. "What is it?"

Taban stood and walked over to the wizard. "Magus, have you ever heard the expression, 'It is the victorious in war who write history?' The Mystic Kingdom did not win the war against the Kingdom of Gaurdia, so Gaurdia wrote the history."

"Your point is?"

"I know that my daughter would never consort with anyone half so bad as the Magus history teaches us. Also, the Magus of history would never have joined in the fight against Lavos. I would rather hear your side of the story, your reasons for the war on Gaurdia, than simply assume that the war propaganda of 600 A.D. turned history is the truth. Let me make my own judgments of you. Come on, we can talk over dessert."

The Doomsickle vanished. Taban had won. Magus sat down again.

Lara began passing out ice cream. Everyone started to dig in.

"I guess it all started when I was ten. Then I lived in Zeal, a divided kingdom of magic and dreams. Back then, I was Janus Zeal, the prince..."

* * *

It was nearly midnight when Magus had finished his story. He put down his cup of tea and sighed. "A few days ago, Lucca showed up in 12,000 B.C. and asked me to come help her out with the LuccaVision. I really don't know why myself, but something in me finally said to just let go. Schala never would have wanted me to waste my life futilely searching for her. She would have wanted me to try to live on, not clinging to a dead dream. I realized that it was finally time to move on. And that pretty much is it." 

Lara had refilled the wizard's teacup, and he picked it up and took another sip.

Taban and Lara exchanged a look, and Taban nodded.

"So, the entire Mystic Kingdom, and the entire war, was to summon Lavos," said Taban.

"Even with all of my powers, I could never have summoned Lavos on my own. Lavos was simply too massive for my powers alone to teleport from the earth's core to the surface. So I had to have help, and the only magic users in the middle ages were the Mystics. I led the Mystics into battle to unite them under me, so that I could use their power and mine to summon and fight Lavos. Was it really so wrong? I fought to save the future, to avenge Schala, and avenge the slaughter of the Kingdom of Zeal. I wanted to serve a greater purpose, to preserve the world itself! But in the end, my plans went so horribly wrong."

"Magus, you tried to do your best," said Lucca. "How could anyone truly blame you for that?"

The grandfather clock in the living room began to chime midnight. "Magus, you and Lucca had better get some rest now. You both need to be ready for tomorrow," said Lara.

The wizard and Lucca stood up from the dinner table and left the room.

Taban and Lara spoke in whispers.

"So, what did you think?" said Lara.

"Lucca says he's distrustful, arrogant, but committed to his goals. From what I heard tonight, I'd say Magus is afraid of being hurt again."

"But what did you think?"

"Well," Taban held a hand up to his chin thoughtfully, "he is a bit distrustful and arrogant, but he's intelligent, relatively polite, he sounds responsible, and doesn't seem like the sort to do stupid things or try to back out of his responsibilities. I don't think there are many men like that left in the world. And if I am not mistaken, the chemistry is definitely there."

"You think so?"

"I didn't mention _Shades of Flame _because I didn't think Lucca would want to be reminded of it. However, did you notice that in the play, Jacky looked like Magus and Laura was an inventor? I think there might be something there."

Lara grinned excitedly. "So, is he the one?"

Taban chuckled. "Yup."

The two gave into an evil, sinister laugh.

"The shnare shall be shnapped!"

"The trap shall be sprung!"

"There's a hitch in the works!"

"I can almost hear the pitter-patter of little feet again!"

"Bwahahahaahha!" said Lara.

"Garharharhar!" said Taban. "And now, let's prepare the guest room." He grinned and held up a ratchet.

* * *

"You have great parents, Lucca," said Magus. 

"I just wish Mom didn't keep serving tea all night like that," said Lucca. The wizard and the inventor entered Lucca's bedroom. "I don't feel tired at all." Lucca glanced at Robo, who seemed to be offline as he refueled.

"Hmmm," Magus replied.

Lucca winced as Magus' neutral expression seemed to take on an air of depression.

"Magus, are you alright?"

"You have great parents, Lucca," the wizard repeated.

Magus evidently did not wish to speak on what was disturbing him. Lucca yawned, opened her closet and took out her pajamas. As she left to get a towel, Lucca noticed that Magus had left her room.

Lucca arrived at the linen closet. The door to the closet was open, so she fetched a towel and then closed the closet door. She thought she distinctly remembered it being closed when she passed by it with Magus after dinner.

Suddenly, a baleful thought came to her mind. Lucca ran to the bathroom, arriving just in time to watch Magus shut the door.

"Magus, you saw that I was getting ready to take a shower," Lucca whined.

"Were you now?"

The water came on inside the shower.

"Magus," Lucca continued whining.

"Funny, I thought I just heard Lucca," she heard Magus chuckle.

Lucca realized she was simply feeding the wizard's obese ego. She would not be used as a tool. She stalked over to the half bathroom across the house, brushed her teeth, changed into her satiny blue pajamas, and then flushed the toilet, giggling madly as the warlock yelped.

* * *

It was nearly one in the morning when Magus was out of the shower. Lucca went to her bedroom, while her parents led the wizard to the guest room. A moment later, the inventor heard a crash. Magus and Lucca's parents entered her room. 

"Lucca, the bed in the guest room collapsed," said Lara. She coughed loudly. "He'll have to stay with you tonight."

"There's no where else to put him," said Taban.

Lucca's parents departed with the efficiency and speed of well-oiled machinery, closing the door to Lucca's room behind them, leaving the inventor and the warlock in the midst of an awkward situation.

"That was... unusual," said Magus.

"Well, I suppose you're going to make me sleep on the floor anyway," said Lucca as she fetched her sleeping bag from the closet.

Magus took the sleeping bag from her. "No, I'm the prince, you're the damsel, remember? I shall take the floor," said he. He set up the sleeping bag, took off his jackboots, and put them on the floor beside the sleeping bag. Magus whimpered as lay down on the floor.

For the wizard to complain about physical discomfort was most unusual. Lucca asked, "Are you alright, Magus?"

"I'm fine, woman."

The inventor detected a waver in Magus's voice. "No, you're not. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Magus, are you or are you not alright?"

"No," he mumbled. "Be careful tomorrow morning, Lucca. The stupid shower malfunctioned and scalded my back."

Lucca simultaneously winced, smirked, and bit back laughter.

A few moments later, the Ashtear household was silent.

An hour later, Magus and Lucca were still awake.

Lucca turned the light on. "I can't get to sleep."

Magus stood up, saying nothing. He paced around for a few minutes before he stopped at the closet and looked inside. "What's this?"

"What's what?" Lucca turned away from the light switch to face the wizard.

He was holding a long box. It was about an inch high and was printed with bright colors. It was entitled, "Wormholes and Rockets."

"You've never played a board game?"

"Of course I have," Magus scoffed. "What kind of backwoods hillbilly mage do you take me for?"

"Well you're going to have to prove that to me then," said Lucca. "We can't sleep and I'm getting bored, so let's play."

"Play with what? Haven't you had enough time to grow up? Do you want me to play dollies with you, wittle Wucca?"

Lucca rolled her eyes. Semi-polite Magus had been replaced with a tired and grumpy version of old Magus. The inventor took the box from the wizard and started setting it up. "We play with the board game. Good boardgames are games for people of all ages. Anyone who has played with them before knows that."

Magus gave her an uncharacteristically sheepish glare.

Lucca finished setting up the game. "So, do you want to make the first move?"

"I see no point in wasting time with this foolish game."

"You're afraid that I'm better than you are, eh?"

"No!"

"Kneel before Lucca the Great, O Magus! Garharhar!"

Magus opened his mouth and then closed it. The expression on his face was absolutely priceless. Lucca knew that she had him hooked. His ego wouldn't let him back down now.

Magus calmed himself. "Alright, I'll play. But just so that things are fair, I'll go easy on you. I wasn't called Magus for nothing, you know."

"Ok then, your turn." Lucca wore an insufferable smirk: she knew the wizard had no idea what to do, and had obviously never played a board game. It was going to be a classic contest of wills and tactics to make him admit it.

Magus was not an opponent to be defeated easily. "I'm used to Zeal's rules for board games. I'll play under your own modern set of rules to make things fair. What are the rules' modern form?"

Lucca did not lose her smirk as Magus masked his ignorance with his way with words. "Wormholes and Rockets is a themed version of Snakes and Ladders. The first player spins the spinner. The number the spinner shows is the distance you move your starship forwards on the board. If you land on a rocket, you follow the warp path shortcut up towards the starbase finish line. If you land on a wormhole, your starship drifts closer to start. Play progresses to the left. The first starship at the starbase wins."

"Alright," said Magus. The wizard looked over the board, picked up the spinner, examined it, and after a moment spun the spinner. It landed on a five. The wizard then scrutinized the board. He shifted until he sat comfortably. He then sat some more. He then sat even more. He 'hmmmed.'

"That sounds nice, but are you going to move your starship?" Lucca felt her smirk widening into a grin.

"I'm planning my strategy."

"Magus, come on. There is no strategy. It's all random chance. We both know you've never played a board game before, so why don't you just admit it so I can show you how? You know that I won't rat you out."

The warlock prince sighed. "Alright. Show me how to play, Lucca."

Lucca nudged the blue starship forwards five spaces. "Ok, my turn."

"This is fun?"

"No one can resist the seductive tendencies of the game for long," said Lucca. "Give it a little time."

"Seductive?" Magus raised an eyebrow. "Lucca, there is nothing erotic about this, unless if you are a very very sick girl."

Lucca ignored the statement, spun the spinner, and advanced her starship. Play continued. As predicted, the closer victory loomed, the more intense the game became.

"Beat that, woman," the wizard gloated as a rocket took him to the top of the board. Victory was but four spaces away. "I told you, it's all in the strategy."

"Right." Lucca smiled, nodded, and spun, bringing her starship to ten spaces from the starbase.

"And now, to win." Magus spun, and the spinner said one. The warlock prince nudged his starship one space closer.

Lucca spun a six, approaching rapidly.

Magus countered, spinning another one.

Lucca spun a two.

"And now, kneel before Magus, O Lucca the Great! Gaharharhar!" Magus spun the spinner. Improbably, it landed on one again. Magus nudged his starship forwards.

"Umm, Magus?"

"Yes?"

"That's the game's worst wormhole you just landed on."

"I prefer to think of it as a minor setback," he growled as Lucca moved his starship fifty spaces backwards.

Lucca spun another two. She was now at the entrance to the starbase; any number she spun would give her victory.

Magus glumly spun again. The spinner mocked the wizard with yet another one. In frustration, he grabbed the spinner and chucked it across the room, where it wedged itself in one of the vertical cracks between the sheets of wall paneling.

The spinner was still spinning. Lucca and Magus watched it spin, finally stopping on three.

Lucca paused for a moment, as the machinery in her head computed her latest idea. "I've got it!" Lucca suddenly yelled, jumping up and down triumphantly.

"Define 'it.'"

"And it's all thanks to you, Magus! It's a LuccaVision game show!"

"Game show?"

"Yes, a game show! It's screw-up proof and idiot proof! Now that I know what we'll do, I don't think it is possible to ruin!" Lucca stopped jumping and sat down on her bed.

Magus sat down beside Lucca. "Don't make the idiots think creatively to do their duty, Lucca. It might be fatal."

"Alright, then, if you are so sure that this won't work, you help me design the show, so that it will."

"Ok. We need a toilet for Frog, a cage for Ayla, a straitjacket for Marle, a barber for Cr-"

"And a Masadoom for Magus. Come on, be serious."

The wizard growled, "I am."

"Ok, the basic concept of a game is a beginning, middle, and end: a start, procedures that define the winner, and a reward. All we have to do is define those three things."

"Let's start with the start." said Magus. "It needs to be relatively simple."

"A game for three players, and one host."

The wizard nodded. "It should involve something of value."

"We give everyone ten tokens to start. Whoever gets the most by the end wins. Whatever the final prize is is the thing of value."

"And what, pray tell, does a geeky eighteen year old penniless teenage girl have to offer anyone? Other than the obvious?"

Lucca was about to retaliate when she stopped for a moment to consider the wizard's statement. Unfortunately, he did have a good point. Then, the idea! "Wait, I know! I'll give the winner a still picture camera! I am the only person who knows how to make one. Everyone likes to take pictures."

"And how does the middle of the game show play out?"

"We put a wheel on the wall, one half numbered numbered one through six, the other half with bonuses and penalties. Each answers a trivia question and then spins the wheel. If it lands on a number, they multiply the token value of the question by the number on the wheel. If they miss the question, they lose the number of tokens won from the trivia question. If the wheel lands on a bonus or penalty, they get the bonus or penalty. They can spin the wheel again then, unless they give the wrong trivia answer or get a penalty. People who lose all tokens are disqualified, and the one who has the highest number of tokens when a certain time period passes wins!"

Magus was silent.

"We are so going to be successful! WE......ARE..........GENIUSES! Garharharhar!"

"It took you that long to figure it out? We were the brains of the quest against Lavos, remember?"

"Magus, not now. I'm still basking in my glory," said Lucca. "This is going to win us the von Klopman prize for sure!"

"Great. Here we go again," said Magus as he got back into his sleeping bag and fell asleep. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

TO BE CONTINUED...

* * *

Yes, this is a pretty evil cliffhanger, isn't it? However, I had to break the chapter sooner or later. Read and review, please. Every good review helps me make the next chapter that much better than the previous. 

Tune in again soon for more of... _The Masadoom and Company_!

And remember to leave a review!


	4. Time Crisis: Rotational Advantage Part 2

Time Crisis: Rotational Advantage: Part II

(c) 2004 by hyperdrive

Well, here it is folks, the long awaited Part II. Sorry for the long delay; I'll try not to let it happen again. As before, I have no claim of ownership to the characters of Chrono Trigger. Finally, any faint references to Arthur Clarke's _2001: A Space Odyssey _are purely coincidental. And remember, only through your reviews can this author improve himself (so read and review, please!)

* * *

Magus awoke to the smell of bacon. The warlock stretched gingerly in his sleeping bag as his scalded back complained vociferously. After the brief stretch worked most of the kinks out of his spinal column, he stood up unsteadily. The blurry image of Lucca's room spun round nauseatingly as Magus tried to remain steady on his footing.

This was all highly atypical, thought Magus. Years of physical and mental training had conditioned his body to a point where such base things as early morning fatigue and dizzy spells were bygones. The wizard for a moment entertained the dire notion that Lucca had somehow given him the cooties, whatever they were.

Magus took a step forwards, and then another. Encouraged by these simple successes, he took yet another step forwards, a step that proved a mistake as he tripped over his jackboots. He quickly moved his other foot forwards, seeking firm footing to steady himself. Instead of finding firm footing, his foot came down on top of one of the plastic Wormholes and Rockets starships. The starship proved surprisingly sharp.

Jumping around on one foot while cursing fluently, Magus tripped over his boots again. The wizard toppled, closing his eyes and reaching out with his hands to cushion his impact. A soft, warm surface stopped the sorcerer's fall as his hands clasped around two soft, warm, and round somethings.

Magus opened his eyes.

Lucca opened her eyes.

They stared into each others' eyes for a long moment.

Time stood still.

Then all hell broke lose.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Get off me you PERVERT!" Lucca screamed. Her hands slapped Magus indiscriminately. Her thumbnails gouged at his eyes. An unyielding fist found its way into his undefended solar plexus. Magus roared in pain and attempted to clamber off of Lucca without touching any more of her than he was already touching.

"Stupid baka HENTAI PERVERT! Deviated PREVERT!" Lucca shrieked. A knee impacted in the wizard's groin. Her pillow came down on Magus's head repeatedly. One of Lucca's feet shot out and caught the warlock in the jaw, sending him flying.

Magus curled up in a ball and prayed that help was on the way as the onslaught continued.

* * *

A half-naked Magus sniffled as Taban gave him another rag to hold against his bloody, distorted nose. The warlock prince flinched as Lara pressed her fingers against his bare and bruised rib cage. The biting stench of the burn cream on his back stung his nose terribly. Water ran down his face from the packages of frozen vegetables pressed against his blackened eyes.

Even temporarily blinded, he could feel a pair of eyes boring into the back of his head.

"Lucca, I can most strenuously assure you that sexual assault was the farthest thing from my mind this morning," Magus rasped, his voice unusually high pitched.

"Try not to talk," said Lara sympathetically. "I think she kicked your trachea."

"That wasn't the only place," Magus growled. He shifted his legs uncomfortably and winced behind his veggie cold packs.

"Lucca, you just can't beat up house guests," said Taban. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

Lara said, "Taban, I can't tell how bad it is like this. Any ideas?"

"I'll get the X-Ray machine," said Taban.

"I'll help, Dad," said Lucca.

Taban shook his head again. "I'm afraid you've done enough helping for today, Lucca. Lara, could you give me a hand?"

"Alright. Lucca, don't you even THINK of trying anything, understood?"

"Yes, Mom," said Lucca. The teenage inventor scowled.

Lara and Taban left the room.

* * *

While Taban unpacked the X-Ray machine from one of his storage closets, Lara paced around. Finally, she spoke.

"I can't believe what fools we've been, Taban. Look what happened. That poor young man," said Lara. "It's all our fault!"

Taban pulled a miscellaneous piece of junk away from the X-Ray machine's cart. "Now Lara, there was no way anyone could have foreseen what happened this morning."

"Yes, but we set it up. We sabotaged the guest room bed, and now look at him. He's been kicked, bruised, punched, and burned. I can't help but feel responsible."

Taban gave one final tug, successfully freeing the X-Ray machine's cart. "Well, he obviously isn't going to be doing any time travel for a while. Lucca's just going to have to take care of him."

Lara gave a half hearted chuckle. "Don't tell me you're going for the Florence Nightingale effect."

"Actually, I am. Somehow, I know that this will all work out for the best."

"I hope so."

"Me too. Now, help me move this thing."

* * *

Magus groaned as a horrible wave of pain hit his head. He shook his head and succeeded in making himself dizzy.

Lucca's stare had not abated.

"Lucca, you know me better than that," Magus grated as the dining room, or rather the darkness behind his coldpacks, spun around him. "Seriously, I'm staying at your parents's house. Now, of all the places in the world, which do you suppose is the worst place to sexually assault you?"

"That still doesn't explain why you groped my boobs."

"I got up, tripped on my boots, stepped on something sharp, tripped on my boots again, and fell on top of you. I was using my hands to cushion my fall. Murphy saw fit to invoke his law." Magus coughed painfully.

"Oh, your story convinces me of your innocence. Why did you squeeze them, then?"

"I didn't," Magus gurgled. "I tried to roll off of you without touching anymore than I was already touching."

"Then you admit to touching me!"

"It was an accident. If you would clean up after yourself, this wouldn't have happened."

"So now this is MY fault?"

"Of course it is! And you don't keep kicking a man once he's down, you know. Also, between the legs is _strictly_ off limits."

"It's an effective target."

"Three times is a little much, isn't it? A vasectomy without anesthetics is less painful and has the same end result." Magus started gasping for air before he began coughing.

"Oh, yuck! Mom, Dad, he's coughing up blood now!" Lucca rolled the wizard's head to the side slightly more vigorously than necessary. "Rotate your head. Let the fluids drain out."

Lucca's parents arrived with the X-Ray machine. After Magus stopped coughing, Taban plugged the machine into a wall outlet and turned it on. The X-Ray machine's fluoroscopic screen lit up with a faint image of Magus's skeleton, and Taban began tallying the injuries.

The doorbell rang, and Lucca went to answer it.

Taban finished tallying the injuries. "Well, Lucca, I hope you're proud of yourself. Four cracked ribs, a concussion, a partly fractured pelvis, two black eyes, burns, a twisted ankle, various cuts and scrapes, and a broken nose. Congratulations."

The elder inventor left the room. For a moment, nothing was said. Then someone entered the room.

"Gods in heaven, thou art merciful! Verily I can die in peace," said Frog. "Thou wast beaten by a Lady, Magus."

Magus resumed coughing up blood. "When I can move, you are a dead amphibian, Frog. This time, I mean it."

Lucca pulled out a pad of paper and took down some notes.

"Lucca, Taban and I have decided on your punishment," said Lara. She gently wiped the blood away from the wizard's mouth. "Magus obviously needs someone to care for him until he's back on his feet."

"No, I don't."

"Yes you do, Magus, understood?" said Lara, in her 'I'm the mother, don't argue with me' tone.

"Yes, ma'am," the wizard mumbled.

"Oooooh, you are so cowed," said Crono.

Magus growled and tried to lunge at the red haired swordsman, only to collapse back into his chair stifling screams of pain.

Lara spoke. "Lucca, Taban and I have decided that you will nurse him back to health."

"What! But! How could I possibly... This isn't fair!"

Taban reentered the room. "I just gave Doc Thompson a call. He's on his way to bind up Magus's wounds," stated Taban. "Now, Lucca, the least you owe Magus is to get him back on his feet. We'll set up a cot for him in your room so you can look after him. End of argument. Certified once, certified twice, period."

Lucca hung her head. There was no arguing with a period. Hell had come to her room.

* * *

After Doctor Thompson bound up the wizard's injuries, he helped Taban and Lucca transfer the injured sorcerer to a cot. The doctor left, and after helping Lucca and Taban carry Magus' cot to Lucca's room, the Chrono Trigger crew minus Ayla and Robo gathered around the inventor and the wounded wizard for a meeting.

Magus handed Lucca the rag he had been using to squelch the flow of blood coming from his nose. Lucca dropped the blood soaked rag into the trash with disdain.

"Ok, Lucca, what happened to Magus?" said Marle.

"He doth look much improved," said Frog. "The snub nose is quite becoming."

The wizard promptly took a deep breath. He clenched his teeth and grasped his bruised, misshapen nose in his gloved right hand. The broken bones and cartilage gave a sickening crackling sound as he snapped his nose back into position.

Marle made a choking noise as Lucca felt her stomach churning. "We kind of got into a fight this morning," Lucca said uncomfortably.

"No, I let you beat me up," Magus growled. "I'm a gentleman. Gentlemen don't hit girls."

"Right," said Lucca. "Marle, think you could heal him?"

Marle shook her head. "Sorry, Lucca. These wounds are just too extensive."

"I need a change of coldpacks, Lucca," said Magus. "These are almost all melted."

"I'll get them in a few minutes."

"Alright, so what's up with the LuccaVision?" said Crono.

"Just a minute," said Lucca. The inventor walked over to the door. Robo was still standing mute next to the propane tanks. "Robo, are you awake yet?"

There was no reply.

"Robo?" Lucca tapped the robot's metal body a few times.

Robo remained silent.

"Robo!" Lucca rapped harder.

Robo's camera eyes started flickering. He made an unusual whirring noise that sounded suspiciously like a robotic hiccup. "Goooood eeeevnin' milady Luccar," said Robo. "Hello, world!" The robot swayed forwards, nearly stumbling over.

"What's happening?" said Magus. He shifted the two bags of soggy vegetables against his black eyes.

Robo made his unusual robotic laughing sound. "Ah-ah-ah-ah, whoo! That was some goood H2." He made the unusual whirring again.

"What's happening?" said Magus again crossly. "And where are my coldpacks?"

"Sir Robo doth seem ill," said Frog uncertainly.

Robo toddled around the room, bumping into random objects, laughing and making whirrings.

"Good grief. He's not ill," said Crono. "Robo's drunk!"

"Come on Crono, robots don't get drunk," said Marle. "Right, Lucca?"

"DAD! Did you fiddle with my fuel gas tanks?"

Taban's muffled voice came up from downstairs. "Eah, I wopped un ropane fur a hydorgen."

"Great," Lucca moaned. "Robo fueled up on hydrogen, not propane. The difference in fuels must have discombobulated his computers."

"Robo not ill!" Robo whirred and spun around. "I fell lik a bolerina!"

"I think I'm going to need a shrink," Lucca groaned. "Robo, try to think logically. Will the hydrogen cause damage?"

"No damage. Make peace and love, not war. We all must make love and peace. Lucca, make love and peace," said Robo sagely. He whirred again. "Set hyperdrive to Diso! The inustrial makery mast arrive on schedule! But avoid Riedquat's ravenous rat-men!" Robo's video camera eyes fell upon Lucca's tool chest. "Ahhhh! No disassemble! Not disassemble Robo, mister Lucca!"

Lucca gasped as Robo enveloped her in a crushing hug.

"Yo taught me these motions, mister Lucca. Don't assemble!"

"Robo, I order you to follow whatever steps necessary to purge your contaminated fuel supply."

Robo whirred once and then collapsed backwards. The floor shook with the robot's impact as a cloud of subzero temperature hydrogen gas spread out around the robot. Lucca turned on an exhaust fan to vent the flammable fumes.

"I guess that's the robot equivalent to falling asleep drunk in a puddle of your own puke," said Crono.

"Thank you for that useful factoid tidbit, Crono," said Lucca. "Alright, guys, Magus and I had a long discussion last night about our next LuccaVision broadcast."

"Before or after you beat Magus up?"

"Crono, after I kill Frog, you're next," said Magus. "And where, pray tell, are my COLDPACKS?"

Lucca ignored her rising blood pressure and sent Marle downstairs to fetch the wizard's frozen vegetables. "Ok, guys, we've decided to do a game show." Lucca hooked Robo up to a propane tank, double checked her work, and started fueling the robot.

"Milady, thou art speaking in terms this knight doth not understand. Reveal unto us the meaning of 'game show.'"

Marle appeared with the frozen veggie coldpacks. She gave them to Lucca, who gave them to Magus.

"A game show will be a LuccaVision show where contestants compete for a prize. Directed by a host, it is impossible to ruin."

"Milady Lucca, dost thou speak of a tourney? I believe I may be of aid."

"No, it's not a tourney. It's a contest of wits."

Frog nodded. "I stand corrected, milady."

"So, tell us a bit about it," said Crono.

Lucca described the show. "And that's as far as Magus and I got."

"Sounds... promising," said Crono. "Might it get a bit boring, though, Lucca?"

"Why, Crono?"

"I don't know."

"You're very helpful."

"I know the problem!" said Marle excitedly. "It needs a plot!"

"Plot? It's a game show, not a book," said Lucca.

"She means a reason for the show," Magus rasped. "And I know what it will be. The time stream is decaying, and needs an energy boost. We 'build up the energy' by answering historical questions and 'amplifying' it with the spinner. Finally, to ensure an element of risk and to keep the show on track, we remove players who fall behind." Magus coughed loudly. "Oh, and Lucca, when's lunch?"

"Later." Lucca said firmly.

"This coming from the one who stuffed her face and glared at me while I had my chest poked and prodded by Doctor Cudgel."

Lucca took a deep breath and held it for ten seconds as her hands balled into fists. Her knuckles popped.

Crono spoke. "Um, Lucca... Marle, Frog, and I will get everything ready. Bring Robo to the theater later. See-ya!"

Crono, Marle, and Frog beat a hasty retreat.

"Now, get me something to eat. If you are aware of the meaning of the word, I'll even say 'please."

"Magus, I am not your servant. I am going to sit down now, and try to figure out how to make a decent, respectable LuccaVision broadcast."

"Notice that I said absolutely nothing about you being my servant or slave? I'd like something to eat before I change my mind about that."

"I'm not getting you anything right now."

Magus heaved a frustrated sigh. "Lucca, I'm trying not to lose my temper, and you are making it very difficult. I cannot walk, I cannot concentrate to use magic, and I didn't eat breakfast. I am very hungry. Please fetch me something."

"No."

Magus suddenly chuckled sadistically.

Lucca felt her hair standing on end. Something had strained past the breaking point.

"Lucca, please fetch me something to eat."

Every fiber of the inventor's being tensed. Magus's order had been voiced far to pleasantly. Lucca stood and turned towards Magus, her eyes glinting, her breathing hard, and her teeth clenched.

"I'd really appreciate it," Magus rasped in his most polite wheeze.

Lucca finally exploded. She jumped up and down. Her voice increased in volume like an insane siren as small magical flames danced between her fingers. "Why do you continue to mock me like this? Isn't it enough that everything I try to do fails miserably? That even my best friends think I'm a complete loser? You're not getting a single French fry out of me, you arrogant, beaten pri-" Lucca stopped speaking suddenly, her mouth hanging open, as the door to her room opened.

Magus actually appeared to be genuinely taken aback by Lucca's outburst. "I-I didn't mean-"

Lucca wasn't listening. "M-M-Mom-" she squeaked.

Lara burst into the room. "Lucca Taylor Ashtear, I'm completely ashamed of you! This poor young man did nothing to deserve such treatment. I want you to apologize right now and show him some respect, understood? Understood?"

"Yes, mom. Sorry, Magus," said Lucca miserably.

"Now get him something to eat," said Lara. "I'll talk while you get the food ready."

Lucca and her mother left the room.

The wounded wizard frowned. He hadn't meant to actually get Lucca in _serious_ trouble, and on top of that, what had just transpired had, for some reason, disturbed him greatly. He shivered for a moment as the long suppressed memories of Janus, Prince of Zeal, came back to haunt him. Quickly, he regained his self control.

A few minutes later, Lucca returned, followed by the smell of reheated sausage and eggs.

"Well, congratulations. Mom officially likes you more than me now, so it looks like you've got yourself a slave," said Lucca bitterly. She scowled. "I suppose you'd like me to spoon feed you."

Magus opened his mouth to retort with something nasty, but nothing came out. For some reason, he couldn't bring himself to further hurt Lucca.

"I-I," the wizard couldn't understand this sudden attack of stuttering. "I didn't mean," he finally managed.

"Right. I heard you chuckle before Mom arrived. You probably heard her footsteps with those pointy ears of yours. You planned it out, and I fell for it. You win, I lose, as usual."

"I will admit to hearing Lara coming and planning the incident; however, I meant for it to result in a simple admonishment, not any sort of significant punishment." Magus bowed his head slightly. A memory of young Janus comforting Schala came to his mind. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even tried to get you in trouble at all."

"What?" Lucca blinked unbelievingly. "You just- I mean you-"

"Don't get used to it. I should have been a bit more considerate of the stress you've been under. And if Frog hears about this, I'll-"

"Kill you, and this time I mean it, and yadda yadda yadda," Lucca interrupted.

Magus gave her a sheepish glare, or would have, if not for two packs of melting broccoli covering his eyes. "I'm that predictable?"

Lucca sighed. "You're an open book to me," the inventor's scowl was finally replaced with a small smile.

There was no animosity behind Magus's response: "Hmph."

Lucca's smile widened. "And if I needed to put you in a card catalog, I'd cross-reference you with 'insecurity,' 'self-image problems,' and 'mental walls.'"

For the first time in a long time, Magus found himself chuckling over something other than someone else's misfortune or insuperiority. "That's only chapter one."

"Alright, let's make a deal," said Lucca. "I say nothing to Frog, you knock off the attitude, and I'll do my best to get you back on your feet again. Treating you will be a lot easier if we aren't at each other's throats, right?"

"Deal," said the wizard. "I'd shake on it if I could."

"You've never gone back on your word before," replied Lucca. "No need to shake." The inventor went to her desk and plugged in her soldering iron. "I left your food on that tray on that table next to your cot. You don't mind a little solder smoke, do you?'

"No, I don't. But, erm, Lucca?"

"Yes?"

"I can't really move my arms much. Could you..."

Lucca suppressed a laugh as she sat down besides Magus's cot and picked up a spoon.

* * *

Taban and Lara stepped away from the slightly open door to Lucca's bedroom. They went downstairs to the kitchen, where they high-fived each other, chuckling evilly.

* * *

It was drizzling when Lucca and Robo arrived at the Guardia High High School theater.

"How are you feeling, Robo?"

The robot had one arm over Lucca's shoulders, and was balancing himself against her. "My generator is producing exhaust at an accelerated rate, my video sensors are not focusing properly, my gyroscopic stabilizers keep telling me that I am falling over, and my aural sensors are ringing and hearing everything at a higher than normal volume. I guess a human would say something like 'I feel terrible.'"

"No, he'd say, 'I have a horrible hangover,'" said Lucca as she and Robo entered the theater.

"Hey, guys!" Marle bounded over to them. "Everything's ready! Hey, did you leave Magus at home?"

"Of course I did, Marle. He's bedridden, remember?"

"Oh, silly me!"

Crono and Frog came down from the stage. "I think we're all ready," said Crono. The teenage swordsman was positively bubbling with excitement. "By the way, Lucca, we built this really great prop for getting rid of contestants. You're going to love it."

Frog spoke. "Aye, Lady Lucca, that you shall." The knight-turned-frog seemed inordinately pleased with himself.

Lucca felt a momentary feeling of impending doom. "What is it?"

"I'll give you a hint. We put together lots of those little firepot explosion thingies and Christmas lights and those massive fans left over from last year's senior production of _The Tempest_. It'll snag viewer's attention for sure. It's that totally awesome."

"Aye, that it is, Lady Lucca. Marle's idea wast too good not to try."

"Aw, you give me too much credit," said Marle.

Frog, Crono, and Marle were wearing the expression of teenagers who had just obtained some napalm and were contemplating the thousands of ways they could put the stuff to less-than-good use.

Lucca realized that she would find out soon enough what kind of deviated monstrosity the combined imaginations of Marle, Crono, and Frog had created. "Ok, let's vote. Who should be the host?"

"All those who vote Lucca, say 'I,'" said Crono.

The 'Is' were unanimous.

Lucca grinned. "I guess I'll host then. Who operates the camera?"

"I'll do it," said Marle. "Frog and Crono already set up the camera in the lighting control room. I just need you to hook everything up."

"Alright then, let's get this show on the road!"

* * *

Magus was awakened by noise in Lucca's room.

"It's almost time for the broadcast," said Taban.

"Magus, are you awake?" asked Lara.

"I am."

"How are your eyes?"

Magus opened his left eye and removed the cold pack. He tried opening his right eye, but it was too painful.

"Well, better one than none," said Taban. He turned the LuccaVision set on Lucca's workbench on and sat down on Lucca's bed with Lara.

"I didn't need to hear that, Taban," grumbled Magus as he watched the LuccaVision. The screen was filled with static.

A tone played over the LuccaVision's speakers and the screen suddenly displayed a test pattern. The broadcast was about to begin.

* * *

"I must admit, for a prop it is impressive, especially on such short notice," said Lucca. "Everything is tied down, right?"

"We hath tested the contraption several times," Frog replied. "Lady Marle hath knowledge of just how it must be manipulated."

"It is selective," said Crono. "At the right setting, it only effects whoever is in front of it. As for the fire, we timed it perfectly. It's completely safe."

"Well, it is the sort of stuff that gets attention," said Lucca. "Alright, we'll try it out."

Lucca gave Marle the signal to begin the broadcast. Marle shouldered the LuccaVision camera and aimed it at a painting depicting a time Gate. Marle flipped the camera's audio select switch to the 'stereo mix' position, and then disengaged the test pattern.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," started Marle, "welcome to..." Marle turned to face Lucca on stage, and called out, "What was the title we agreed on again?"

The camera's unsympathetic eye glared down at the inventor. Lucca slapped her forehead. "_Time Crisis: Rotational Advantage_," she moaned.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," Marle said, turning the camera back to the painting of the time Gate. "Let's try that again."

* * *

Taban, Lara, and Magus were laughing their rumps off. Magus clutched his side as his broken ribs expressed their disapproval of this strenuous exercise.

The LuccaVision screen dissolved into static again.

A moment later the test pattern and tone came back.

* * *

Lucca tried to restrain a full power Flare spell as she furiously gave Marle the signal to begin the broadcast again. Marle turned off the test pattern.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to... **_TIME CRISIS: Rotational Advantage_**!" Marle screamed. "It's a LuccaVision show to die for, if it doesn't kill you first! As honorary Time Riders, we must risk all to repair the time stream. Our host will fill you in on the details. And now, here she is, the genius scientist behind such genius productions as the Telepod, the first LuccaVision commercial, and _Shades of Flame_, the first LuccaVised play..."

Marle stopped as she noticed Lucca jumping up and down on stage giving her the 'head-chopped-off' gesture. Marle turned to face Lucca. "What's wrong?" Marle called.

"I don't think Lucca wants to mention those genius productions," Crono called from the stage. He offered the camera his best smile.

"But Lucca said she wanted me to make this as upbeat as possible when we go on the air," Marle whined. Suddenly, Marle turned completely white. She nearly dropped the camera as she noticed that the camera's 'ON AIR' light was on. "Holy swiss cheese on baloney! You mean we aren't doing a rehearsal right now?"

"No," moaned Lucca.

"HOLY SHI-" started Marle.

Someone had the good sense to take the camera from the princess.

That someone aimed the camera at his face. "My lords and ladies, honored childes," said Frog into the camera. "We doth seem to be suffering from 'technicality difficult.'"

Behind Frog, the room lit up with the red light of a fire spell.

"Be of good cheer, as we fain shall resume this issuance of technological wizardry momentarily."

Frog reengaged the test pattern.

* * *

"This is why we never actually watch LuccaVision broadcasts in person," said Taban.

"It's always a lot more fun to watch like this," Lara laughed.

Magus was torn between surrendering to the lunacy and feeling sorry for Lucca, who had apparently been cursed with a hurricane of a black cloud over her head.

The test pattern disappeared.

"We hath solved our problems," said Frog. "My Lords and Ladies, honored childes, I welcome thee to _Time Crisis: Rotational Advantage_," said the amphibian knight. "_Time Crisis _art a LuccaVision show thou mayest perish for, if it perchance fails to kill thee first! Thou art honorary Time Riders, and thou must risk all to effect repair upon the time stream. Thine host shalt fill thee in on the details. And now, I present unto thee My Lady Lucca Ashtear!"

Marle appeared in front of the camera. She was singed with burns, and her ponytail was smoldering. "Ok, Frog, I can handle it from here. Get down there and get ready."

"If thou wishest, my Lady."

The camera perspective changed as Marle took over. "Just to clarify, I'm Marle, not Lucca." Marle aimed the camera at Lucca. "That's Lucca, I'm Marle. Got it?"

Lucca finally took over as the host.

Magus made his decision. Surrendering to the lunacy was infinitely more preferable than feeling too sorry for anyone.

* * *

Lucca cleared her throat and started. "Yes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to _Time Crisis: Rotational Advantage_. This is a game show where the stakes are high and the cost of failure is infinite. The time stream has become destabilized, and must be re-energized, lest the entire world slowly lose its very existence! To do this, we all must become Time Riders, specially trained representatives from three major time periods: the Past, the Present, and the Future. The job of a Time Rider is to answer the questions I ask regarding events that have occurred, are occurring, and will occur to preserve the time stream. Each correct answer provides a small amount of power, which we then amplify with this," Lucca indicated a large wheel with short pegs extending from its circumference hanging from the wall. "After spinning, the Time Rider will either receive the number of energy tokens indicated on the wheel, or must do what is indicated by the wheel. If the wheel shows a positive thing, or if he has received more tokens, the Time Rider may request another question. If it is a negative thing, or if the Time Rider gets a question wrong, he loses tokens and must pass his turn. The game has three rounds. If a Time Rider runs out of tokens, or has the least number of tokens by the end of the first or second round, he will be removed from play with..."

The wall behind Lucca slid open, revealing a long, dark tunnel.

"The fearsome Time Hole!" Lucca turned towards the tunnel expectantly.

For a moment, nothing happened. Lucca stepped closer to the tunnel and looked into the emptiness.

"The fearsome Time Hole, Marle!" she shouted.

"Oh," said Marle. She flipped a switch.

* * *

Magus, Taban, and Lara watched as the Time Hole filled with little stars of light. They spun slowly, then sped up into a swirling whirlpool of stars. Every lose object on the set of _Time Crisis_ began to quiver, as if the Time Hole was trying to drag them in. Lucca seemed to be struggling to brace herself.

"TURN THE FEARSOME TIME HOLE OFF, MARLE!" shouted Lucca as her shoes began sliding on the floor towards the Time Hole.

An audible click came over the LuccaVision speakers. The Time Hole suddenly filled with orange light, and Lucca barely dodged a long tongue of fire that shot out of the tunnel.

The Time Hole disappeared in a dense cloud of black smoke.

When the smoke cleared, all that remained of the impressive prop was Lucca staggering about for a moment, her face covered with soot.

"Failure...is...not...an...option." said Lucca.

For a split second, Magus actually felt a twinge of pity for poor, tormented Lucca. Then Magus, Taban, and Lara proceeded to laugh their heads off.

* * *

Lucca wiped her face on her handkerchief, regained her sense of balance, and without thinking, gave Marle and the camera the universally recognized single finger salute.

Lucca spoke. "Now, we have selected from the Corridors of Time three of the most elite Time Riders."

Marle focused the camera on Frog.

"This is Frog, our representative of the Past. He hails from 600 A.D., and is an esteemed knight of the Square Table."

"'Tis an honor to fight for time itself for a Lady such as thee, Lady Lucca."

Marle moved on to Crono.

Crono was trying to pick the earwax out of his ear. He paled and froze when he realized he was on candid camera.

"This is Crono, our representative of the Present. He is a master swordsman and a well known figure in local lore and urban legend."

Crono removed his finger from his ear. "Hopefully you've just heard the good stories," said the teenage swordsman. His joke flopped miserably.

The camera focused on Robo. The robot was teetering, using his podium to stay upright.

"And this is Robo, our representative of the Future. He's from 2300 A.D., and his artificial intelligence and encyclopedic knowledge makes him a formidable opponent."

"Could you turn down the stage lights a bit, madam Lucca?"

"Alright, are we ready?"

The answer was affirmative.

"Alright, then, let's get started. We can give each of you ten tokens to start."

The counter on each player's podium promptly displayed a 10.

"Now, let me get the first question from the quizzinator," said Lucca. She pressed a button on a waist-high pedestal in the middle of the room, and a question was projected on the wall.

"These questions are worth two energy tokens, and go to the first to buzz in. The first Time Rider to reach twenty energy tokens will call in round two. Who was Gaspar?"

Crono buzzed in. "He was one of those Gurus, wasn't he?"

"We need specifics, Crono."

Crono lost two tokens.

"I demand a recount," he promptly muttered.

Frog buzzed in. "Gaspar, Guru of Time, wast one of three Gurus of Zeal Kingdom. He wast sent to the End of Time by the cur Lavos."

"That's two for Frog," said Lucca. "Spin the wheel to amplify."

Frog walked up to the wheel on the wall. Standing on tip toes, he seized one of the pegs sticking out of the wheel with his hand and spun. Unfortunately, the sticky pads on the frog knight's hand refused to let go immediately after being squeezed. Frog was pulled into the air and spiraled around the spinner several times before being deposited on the floor.

"That's a times three bonus, Frog," said Lucca as the dizzied amphibian knight teetered back to his podium. The score on Frog's scoreboard climbed to 16.

"Want to go again, Frog?"

"Nay, I shall pass."

Lucca got the next question from the quizzinator. "Alright, what is an Enertron?"

Robo buzzed in. "It induces sleep to restore strength and heal injuries, but does nothing for hunger. I need one right now."

"That's two tokens."

Robo went up to the wheel. He spun it at superhuman speed, the wheel shuddering and wobbling from the force of the spin. One of the wheel's pegs vibrated out of place and shot out at Crono. The teenage swordsman whipped out his katana, slicing the peg in two midair. Both pieces then hit Crono full-on in the gut.

"That's a times two bonus," said Lucca, ignoring Crono's dramatic moans of "he... he... he... he... s-s-s-hot me."

"I want to sit down," said Robo as he returned to his podium. He now had 14.

"Alright, next question. Who was Magus?"

Frog buzzed in. "An abominable, cowardly cur who stood for naught but death and destruction! A merciless craven who gave me this unbecoming form for his amusement. A villain I shall one day-"

"I'm sorry, Frog, but please stick to the historical facts. That's not what we're looking for."

Frog was down to 14.

Frog opened his mouth to protest, but Crono buzzed in. The teenage swordsman groaned and held his stomach before speaking. "The greatest of the Mystic sorcerers of 600 A.D., and the most powerful wizard known to have existed. Originally he was Janus, Prince of Zeal, of 12,000 B.C., but after being set to 600 A.D. by Lavos, he manipulated the Mystics into following him so that he could summon Lavos to a duel to the death."

"That is correct," said Lucca.

Crono approached the wheel as if it was a venomous serpent. He reached out to spin it with shaking hands. "It looks so harmless right now, doesn't it?"

"Crono, it is not going to hurt you. Just spin it."

"But what if it shoots someone else?"

A small sphere of magical flame appeared in Lucca's hand, the precursor to a flare spell. "This has your name on it, Crono," Lucca whispered.

Crono got the message, clenched his eyes closed, and spun the wheel gently. It made little more than one revolution before stopping on the 4X spot.

"Crono now has sixteen energy tokens."

Crono breathed a sigh of relief as he returned to his podium.

"Ok, next question. What is the name of the sword of Dreamstone?"

Robo buzzed in. "The Red Knife."

"Sorry, Robo. While the Red Knife was made of Dreamstone, it was a knife, not a sword. I'm talking about its evolved form."

"My apologies, madam Lucca," said Robo. The robot was leaning heavily against his podium. "I'm having some difficulty concentrating."

Robo's token count was now 12.

Crono only barely beat Frog to the buzzer. "The Masamune is the sword of Dreamstone."

"Good. Spin, Crono."

Crono walked up to the spinner and spun. While the wheel was still spinning, Crono ducked and covered his head with his hands as everyone's attention was diverted to an unusual crackling sound.

Robo's podium collapsed, and Robo fell atop the bits and pieces. The robot vented some fuel gas as he got up.

"Lucca, I got 'All or nothing.' What does that mean?" asked Crono.

The inventor ignored the fact that she was very nearly at the end of her rope. While Robo cleaned up the mess, Lucca said, "It means you wager a certain amount of energy tokens on my next question. If you get it right, you get the amount you wagered, but if you get it wrong, you lose the wagered tokens."

"Alright, I wager six."

"Who were the only members of Prince Janus's immediate family living at the end of the Kingdom of Zeal?"

"Um, that's a tough one," said Crono. The teenage swordsman spent a moment chewing on his lip.

Lucca bared her teeth and growled, which shocked Crono out of his indecision.

"Queen Zeal and Princess Schala, ma'am!"

"Yes, that's right," said Lucca. "That ends the first round. Robo, I'm sorry, but while you played a good game, we can't protect you from the fearsome Time Hole!"

Right on cue, Lucca noted with relief, the Time Hole reappeared as the wall slid open. She held onto Crono's podium as the powerful fans that simulated the Time Hole's 'gravity field' came on.

"My God, it's full of stars," said Robo as he was dragged towards the elaborate prop. Then, Robo's feet caught on a slightly upraised board on the stage. Combined with the robot's weight, the board successfully restrained Robo from 'doom.'

Marle responded by turning the Time Hole's throttle to maximum.

* * *

Magus, Lara, and Taban watched as the fearsome Time Hole sucked away, the powerful winds yanking everything not tied down into the tunnel. Everything but Robo, who was caught by the upraised board and the robot's own weight.

Magus couldn't help but wonder if the Time Hole couldn't have been planned a bit more logically.

Finally, Robo lifted his foot. He was pulled into the roaring vortex of air and vanished into the fearsome Time Hole. His 'demise' was marked by a brilliant orange jet of flame. Dense smoke obscured the set.

As the dust settled, the camera focused on Lucca, Frog, and Crono, who appeared somewhat frazzled by the experience. Crono was now shirtless and Frog's skin was dried and ready to star in a skincare product add. As for Lucca, her helmet and glasses were nowhere to be seen. Her unusually colored purple hair, freed of the confines of her helmet, had taken on a nifty windblown appearance as it trailed down to her shoulders. Finally, her orange smock-like tunic had disappeared, leaving Lucca wearing a somewhat tight greenish-gray teeshirt and black shorts.

Magus 'hmmed,' raised an eyebrow, and nodded to himself.

Lucca held onto her dignity remarkably well. With 'this show must go on even if it kills me!' resolve, the inventor continued as if nothing happened. "Welcome to round two. Except for Robo, we seem to have survived the ravages of the Time Hole. Is everyone ready?"

After a moment of shock and awe, Crono and Frog gave their go ahead.

"Good." Lucca squinted and read the quizzinator's next question. "Describe Dalton."

Frog moved his hand to buzz in, when suddenly, a voice screamed, "Get your hands up! Get them up now!"

Magus, Lara, and Taban looked at each other for a moment. On the LuccaVision, Crono, Frog, and Lucca did much the same thing as they raised their hands.

"Great, Daddy's guards," said Marle's voice over the LuccaVision. "What did we do this time to piss them off?"

The stage was swarming with royal guards dressed in black assault uniforms.

"Lucca, what'd you do?" moaned Crono.

"Stay still, and don't move a muscle," screamed the guard who appeared to be the leader. He pointed his machine gun at the ceiling and unloaded a few clips of ammunition into the roof to demonstrate his authority.

"You idiots!" screamed Marle's voice over the LuccaVision set. "Stop this right now!"

"Quickly, secure the Princess," shouted the leading guard. He unloaded another clip of ammunition into the ceiling to emphasize his order. "And get these treasonous runts down to the castle dungeons!"

The lead guard put a new clip in his gun and was about to emphasize his orders again when Lucca screamed, "Stop it! I'm probably going to end up having to pay for that!"

"Shut up, wench! I don't get to do this very often!" The lead guard shot the new clip into the ceiling, giggling madly. "Man, this feels so good! Oh, yes, oh, yes!"

Marle had evidently had enough. Cackling, she flipped on the Time Hole and turned the throttle back on maximum.

The bad situation in the theater changed into total anarchy as powerful winds swept the theater.

The Time Hole inexplicably shut down. "Princess, come with me," said a voice.

Marle turned for a moment to face a guard who had entered the theater's lighting control room. Then she threw the camera at him and ran.

The guard caught the camera and looked into the lens curiously. Then he said, "What has just happened is for your protection, good citizens of Guardia. These Crono, Lucca, Robo, and Frog characters are shady anarchists hereby charged with treason and the dissemination of propaganda. They are bad people. Very, very, very bad people." The guard dropped the camera, calling out, "Nadia, Nadia!"

The image on the LuccaVision screen shattered and then dissolved into static.

"What just happened?" asked Magus.

Taban and Lara panicked.

Magus groaned. This was just going to be one of those days...

* * *

Yes, I know, it's another evil cliff-hanger. Sorry about that, but I've got to introduce the next chapter somehow. Tune in again for more of _The Masadoom and Company_! And don't forget to leave a review! 


	5. Fugitives of the Revolution

Fugitives of the Revolution

(c) 2004 by hyperdrive

Yes, folks, it is I, hyperdrive, speaking to you with my voice, announcing a new episode of _The Masadoom and Company_! Well, I said I'd try to prevent any long update delays, but Real Life(c) didn't see fit to allow that this time. Anyhow, I now present chapter four of _The Masadoom and Company:__Fugitives of the Revolution_. I have no claim of ownership to the characters of Chrono Trigger. The mangled reference to Stanley Kubrick's awesome movie _Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb _is not mine either (save the mangling, which is mine) but was obligatory, given the situation at hand. As you read, keep in mind that your reviews are directly translated into increased quality chapters. Without further ado...

* * *

The image on the LuccaVision screen shattered and then dissolved into static. 

"What just happened?" asked Magus.

Taban and Lara panicked.

Magus groaned. This was just going to be one of those days...

* * *

Several hours had passed since the LuccaVision broadcast of _Time Crisis: Rotational Advantage_ was ended so rudely by Guardia's finest. Once Lucca's parents had gathered their wits, Lara had gone downstairs to try to get in touch with Guardia Castle by telephone while Taban left to try to directly gain an audience with King Guardia. 

Magus's better-than-normal ears let him know that in Taban's absence, Lara's telephone contact efforts had proved futile. Faint whisperings from the telephone downstairs strongly suggested that no one would even discuss with her what was going on.

The sorcerer heard the quiet roaring of the unusual self-powered wheeled cart Taban had taken to Guardia Castle approaching the Ashtear home. A moment later, he heard the front door open.

"I tried everything, Lara," said Taban downstairs. The elder inventor sounded drained and devastated. "They don't even acknowledge that Lucca or her friends exist."

"No," murmured Lara.

"I'm afraid so. I heard someone mention sending a police devision down here, too. They want to pick up Magus and watch for Marle."

The wizard stopped listening. There was much to prepare for before Marle arrived, undoubtedly seconds before the cops. And with his current injuries, none of those preparations could be easily accomplished.

The first task was to regain his full mental control and concentration...

* * *

"Secret-boom-Agent Marle! Dah-dah-doom-dah-dah! They've given me a number..." Marle darted from tree to tree in sync with the rhythm of her personal theme song, "Secret Agent Marle." Lucca's house was just ahead. 

"Control, this is secret agent Marle," said Marle to herself as she arrived at the doorway of Lucca's abode. The princess reached towards the knob. "Wait. Chaos's forces could have this place booby trapped." Marle peered into the house through the small decorative glass panes in the door.

Taban was trying to comfort a sobbing Lara. There was no one else in the living room.

"They've set a decoy," Marle said aghast. Her eyes narrowed. "Best be safe about this."

The princess went to the corner of the house and began shimmying up the gutter drain pipe. However, the pipe was slippery from the drizzling earlier in the day, and shimmying was proving difficult.

Promptly, the drainpipe started moving. The princess gasped and froze as she watched in horror as the drainpipe and the gutter began peeling away from the roof. Marle scrambled onto the roof just in time to watch the overstrained gutter detach from the house and crash down to the ground below.

* * *

Magus slapped his forehead as the sound of metal bending and groaning followed by the sound of something large and heavy hitting the ground reached his ears. Marle had arrived with the stealthy subtlety of a circus parade. 

A moment later, the princess stepped in through Lucca's window.

Magus heard the marching of a police detachment in the distance.

"Your sense of timing, Marle, is truly uncanny. We will both be captured in moments."

"Magus, you've gotta do something," Marle said to the invalid sorcerer as she began to panic.

"Oh, but I'm enjoying being bedridden."

"Secure the premises!" shouted a familiar voice. The sound of distant machine gun fire sounded. "Damn, I love mah gun!"

The princess groaned and continued panicking.

"Marle, grab my hand," said Magus, in his "must I do everything?" tone.

Marle raised an eyebrow, but she complied.

"Good. You will feel weak," Magus gave the princess a mean smile.

The princess's panic gave way to terrible fear as Magus grinned. She immediately regretted obeying the wizard as she swooned to the floor, her energy seemingly sucked from her.

Magus grunted loudly as he got up from the cot. He tossed his coldpacks in the trash and ripped off his bandages. The wizard opened his left eye, strode up to Lucca's mirror, and examined his swollen shut right eye for a moment.

Marle stood dizzily. "W-what did you do to me?" she moaned. "And shouldn't you be resting?"

Magus did not answer. He frowned, grit his teeth, and attempted to open the irritated eye with his fingers. The wizard's good eye widened as he half-suppressed a gasp.

Marle winced as the sorcerer began whispering curses under his breath.

The wizard abruptly stopped cursing and turned towards Lucca's open window.

"Hey! I'm coming with you!"

"No, I'm leaving you here as guard chow," said Magus. The wizard took hold of the ends of his cape in his hands and began running towards the open window.

Marle tried to panic again, but found that she was too weak. Deciding that there were no other options, she took a deep breath, clenched her eyes shut, and pounced with as much strength as she could muster from her weakened, aching body. She landed on the wizard's back just he leaped off of Lucca's window sill.

"Get off me, you wench!" roared the sorcerer.

"No! I'm coming with you!" Marle gasped as she wrapped her arms around Magus's neck.

"Not so loud! Gackkkkk! Let go of meh! I cat bredt!"

Marle loosened her grip and opened her eyes.

The ground was several hundred feet below. Magus's body was surrounded by a faint blue hue that continuously shifted in color slightly as he maintained flight.

"You would have been a whole lot safer not following me, wench," growled the warlock. "Now, hold tight! Gakk! Got that bight!"

Magus swerved violently to avoid machine gun fire. Marle screamed loudly as bullets swarmed around them.

The machine gun fire slowly died away. Marle felt the wizard's body relax slightly.

Magus finally descended and landed behind the Truce General Store. He dumped Marle onto the ground and began to walk away.

"Hey! Where're you going?" Marle staggered to her feet, moaning loudly as her body protested violently. "And what did you do to me?"

Magus turned to face Marle. The princess gasped as for the first time, she saw the grotesque bruised mess that was the sorcerer's right eye.

"If I tell you, will that shut you up so I can concentrate?"

Marle nodded.

"Good. I am going to Guardia Castle via the Truce General Store. As for what I did to you, I borrowed the majority of your life energy to hold my body together for a few hours. Is that sufficient?"

"Why do you need to visit the Truce General Store?"

For a moment, Marle feared that she had finally arranged a meeting with the Grim Reaper as Magus's seemingly permanent scowl darkened. Finally, the wizard turned and continued walking. The princess followed until he vanished into the store.

The wizard reappeared a moment later, an unfortunate scrap of black silk and elastic band clenched in his hand. He pulled the accessory over his head, secured the elastic, and positioned the silken scrap carefully. "Because God hates me with a passion. Get on my back."

Marle did her best not to ogle over the wizard's latest misfortune as she obeyed.

* * *

"I always thought I escaped the guillotine to easily last time! I knew it wasn't over yet," Crono cried. The teenage swordsman paced around the cell he shared with Lucca, Frog, and Robo, dragging from his ankle a ball and chain. "They're gonna cut my head off, they're gonna cut my head off, cut m' head off, cut m' head off, cut m' head off, cut m' head off, cut m' head off..." 

"Shut up," growled Lucca from her seat on a semi-clean bale of straw. Her teeth reflected the torchlight, her canines glinting like fangs.

"They took my sword, they took my sword, took m' sword, took m' sword, took m' sword, took m' sword..."

"Cease thine vain janglings," said Frog.

"They threw away the keys, they threw away the keys, threw the keys, threw the keys, threw the keys, threw the keys..."

Robo, Frog, and Crono cowered in their corners of the cell as Lucca roared, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"Cell's like the Ritz," said Crono happily. He shuddered as Lucca examined her hands, positioning her fingers like claws. The teenage swordsman gulped as torchlight glinted off the edges of the inventor's unusually sharp nails.

Lucca finally hung her head. "I'm sorry, Crono. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. But why does fate hate me so much? WHY?" Lucca shouted at the skies, or rather, the stone ceiling.

"Please calm down, Madam Lucca," said Robo. "Marle will have us freed momentarily, I'm sure."

The cell door opened. "All of you, out of there," said a guard. He removed the balls and chains from their ankles and then marched the prisoners downstairs. "The Cap'n got annoyed with yer constant yappin'," said the guard. "Figures you'll cool down here."

The guard showed them into a new cell and locked the door.

It was too dark to see. The prisoners stumbled around in the dark as their eyes adjusted.

"Hey, I wonder what this rope does?" said Crono.

Lucca heard a loud metallic slicing sound. She felt something like stale bread crunch beneath her boots. She resisted the soothing voice of insanity telling her that it was Ok to become nuttier than a fruitcake.

"Hm, doesn't seem to do anything," said Crono.

A torch was lit. The cell brightened to a dim murk.

Crono began screaming at the top of his lungs. His hands were holding the framework of a guillotine. A lock of the swordsman's hair was lying on the floor beneath the blade. Crono kept screaming as he stared at the razor sharp blade.

"They're gonna cut my head off! Took sword! Tossed keys!" he shrieked.

"Sir Crono, thou art a true sissy," said Frog disdainfully.

"This shouldn't be allowed," moaned Crono as he staggered to a corner.

For a moment, Lucca stood, looking on, her mouth hanging open before she whispered, "It shouldn't be allowed." Then she began jumping up and down triumphantly. "BRILLIANT! BRILLIANT! Garhar! BRILLIANT! IT'S BRILLIANT!"

Crono, Frog, and Robo stared at each other for a moment. This could only mean...

* * *

"Are we there yet?" 

"Soon."

"But the ground is going by so fast. Are we there now? Huh? Huh? Are we there yet?"

"Marle, how much do you think dropping you is going to hurt me?"

The princess got the message and fell silent. Magus finally landed on one of Guardia Castle's numerous towers. Marle scrambled off of the wizard's back before he had a chance to dump her off again.

"I don't see how this is going to work. Daddy's guards are highly trained killing machines!"

"Pshaw. I used to wipe my boots on the likes of them."

"But they are! They are renowned killers!"

"To a fighter of your caliber, maybe."

The princess closed her eyes, trying to think of a suitable comeback. Finally, "You know, being around you is like riding a really spirited horsie," said Marle.

"Marle, honestly, do you think Lucca or the others would mind if I killed you?"

"I don't know," replied the princess.

"Let's FIND OUT!" said Magus, summoning the Doom Sickle.

"I'm sure they would! Honestly! Honestly!" Marle shrieked as she began running in a weakened stumbling jog down the tower's inner stairwell.

"I don't think so," said Magus. "I certainly wouldn't."

"Lucca'd kill you!"

"Would she, now?" The Doom Sickle slowly faded away as Magus and Marle entered a long hallway. "Hmph. You're hardly worth the effort to kill, anyway."

At the end of the hall was a group of guards.

"Be careful, Magus. The lead guard has the chevrons of the Guardia Elite," gasped Marle.

The lead guard started. "Halt, in the name of King Reginald Thompson Mikkelson Jackson Leland Guardia, the Font of Justice, Bearer of the Seven Seals of Virtue, Keeper of the Twelve Unbreakable Tables, Exalter of the Two Hundred Thirty Seve-grokugh-"

The group of guards collapsed as Magus's Dark Mist spell overwhelmed them. Magus disdainfully picked his way around their senseless bodies as he walked past the fallen guards, saying, "Oh, my arm! Oh, my chest! Ah! I-Is that-Are you cutting my legs? Oh, you are cutting my legs! Marle, watch out, these guards are very, _very _elite and very, _very _dangerous."

"Shut up," said Marle. "Can't you try being nice for once?"

"Like you?"

"I'm the nicest person you're ever going to meet! Everything about me is nice!"

"Then I for one am proud to be a member of the ranks of the soulless, heartless, intelligent, and evil!" proclaimed Magus. He lifted a hatch in the floor. "This looks like the way to the dungeons. Lead the way, Marle. I'll watch for sneak attacks on our rear."

"Why me lead?"

"Marle, are most of the guards waiting for us in the dungeons, or watching the rest of the castle, waiting for a chance to ambush us from behind?"

"I think most of them are on furlough," said Marle. Apparently forgetting about her companion, she continued. "Today is V-Day, the anniversary of when Guardia royally whipped Magus's evil butt back in the middle ages, so most of the guards are probably watching Daddy give speeches down at Leene Square."

"Marle, did you know that my friend, Mr. Doom Sickle, is hungry?"

"Did he miss breakfast? I hate it when I do that," said Marle, completely seriously. "A glass of OJ in the mornings, a bit of snausages and eggs, bacon, yep, that's some good eatins."

Magus walked up to the dungeon stone wall and hit his forehead against it several times. There was no hope for the universe.

* * *

"Do you realize, Crono, that in all of history, the modern government of Guardia is the most monstrously conceived dictatorship we have ever had to face?" Lucca placed her arm around the teenage swordsman's shoulder. 

Crono chuckled nervously. "So, um, Lucca, when did you first develop this theory?"

"Well, Crono," Lucca paused for a moment, the torchlight dancing in her eyes, "it was... it was when you were first arrested. A strange sort of understanding, actually. The corruption! The controlled courts! It was all there I tell you."

Crono chuckled nervously. Lucca's nails were beginning to slice deep into the soft, vulnerable flesh of his arm, a sensation he did not like one bit. He felt like a rabbit cornered by a fox.

"I think we know the alternative is anarchy," said the inventor, "and anarchy leads to an upper class of intellectuals. It's not that I avoid leadership, Crono: the people are drawn to my knowledge. But I do try to respect the proletariat."

Frog and Robo nodded appreciatively as Lucca and Crono stood.

"Lady Lucca, I doth think that is a wrap," said Frog.

"Very believable," said Robo. "And it definitely plays on some vital truths of Guardia's government."

"Cut your nails, Lucca," said Crono as he stared at the bloody arcs her nails had left in his right arm.

"Hmmm. I don't know if I like how it sounded," said Lucca. "I think I'll have to give it a bit of thought. In fa—hush! Listen!"

The cell fell silent.

A voice echoed. "Aw, come on Magus! When do I get to meet Mr. Doom Sickle?"

Robo, Crono, Frog, and Lucca stared at each other for a moment.

The echoes continued with, "Do you know the meaning of SHUT UP, WENCH!"

"But Mr. Doom Sickle's hungry, isn't he? I've got some energy bars with me."

"Look, you check those cells, I'll check these cells. That's not too hard for you to understand, is it? I'm running short on time, Ok?"

"Ok!"

"We're saved!" said Crono.

"I doth not share thine belief," said Frog.

A moment later, the hinges of the cell door vaporized. Leather gloves appeared in the cell's window, grasping the bars securing the window's opening. Magus ripped away the door.

"Lucca? Everyone, out of there! I'm almost out of time!"

Following the wizard's instructions, the prisoners escaped the cell.

"Magus! How are you even moving? You should be resting!" said Lucca. She blinked as she noticed the wizard's new accessory. "And you look like Dalton!"

"It almost adds a degree of comeliness to thee, Magus," said Frog maliciously.

The wizard fingered his new eye patch self-consciously. "Why thank you, Frog. I rather like it myself. Latest style, straight from the Truce General Store."

The amphibian knight made a choking sound as his verbal salvo backfired.

Marle ran up to the group. "Ok, guys, time to escape! Fly us out, Magus!" The princess promptly began whistling, "A Shot of Crisis."

"Fly?! I can't sustain that anymore! No, we run!" shouted Magus. The wizard began doing just that, and the group followed.

"But I want to fly," protested Marle.

"And I want to kill you horribly, but we don't always get what we want, now do we? Take this, Guardia's Elite! Dark Mist!"

Marle stuck her tongue out at Magus as a waiting division of guards went down.

The warlock led the group through a confusing maze of stairways, slowly approaching the surface. Klaxons began to ring, warning of their escape.

Magus suddenly tripped, falling flat on his face. Lucca and Marle knelt beside the fallen wizard.

"M-m-my spell," Magus murmured. He had suddenly become extremely pale. The wizard rose to his feet, clutching his side as a trickle of blood began to leak from his mouth. With his teeth clenched, he staggered a few steps before abruptly falling to his knees. The sorcerer coughed before wheezing, "I-I can't last..."

Lucca wrapped one of Magus's arms around her shoulders, and helped the wizard totter along.

"L-l-luc-ca, s-s-save yourself," he gasped.

Lucca's eyes widened as her mouth dropped open in shock. Self sacrifice from Magus? Would the miracles never cease?

Marle wrapped the wizard's free arm around her own shoulder. "We can't do that! Mr. Doom Sickle will starve if we don't feed him."

Magus and Lucca stared at the princess for a moment.

"Oh, I'll feed him alright," the wizard growled.

"We're almost at the surface, Magus," said Lucca. "I'm not going to leave you like this."

"If we can make the surface, I-I-I'll handle the rest," the warlock moaned and closed his visible eye.

"Ohhhh, I'm just in time," said an all-too-familiar voice. A solitary guard, wearing a black commando suit, stepped out of the shadows of the dungeon and fired off a burst of machine gun ammo into the ceiling before aiming his weapon at them. "Ever did something that was just so much fun to do that you just couldn't stop?"

"Great," muttered Lucca. "Him again. And me without my gun."

Magus summoned the Doom Sickle and handed it to the inventor. "Luuuccaaaa," he whispered. His body slumped against her shoulder as his face contorted with pain.

"Too heavy," said Lucca as the weight of the unwieldy weapon ripped it from her hand. It vanished before it hit the floor.

The guard abruptly collapsed with a yelp.

Crono was standing behind the guard holding Lucca's laser gun. The teenage swordsman blew a cloud of imaginary smoke off the gun's barrel and gave the weapon to Lucca. "Frog found all of the weapons and the LuccaVision camera. He thinks it's broken. Can we get out of here?"

Seconds later, the group stood in the sunlight. The guards were closing in from every angle.

"Get him! Get the traitorous miscreant!" the Supreme Chancellor appeared on one of the castle balconies.

"I knew you were still out to get me!" Crono accused.

"Get you?" said the Chancellor. The old man scratched his head, his long salt and pepper hair billowing wildly in the wind. "No, no, no. You're a pathetic, worthless commoner: you are of no interest to me."

"No interest?" Crono crossed his arms and frowned, kicking a rock on the ground. "B-b-but I-I-I thought you wanted me dead!"

"Of course not, you silly peon. I want the wizard dead. Guards, kill the sorcerer!"

"Over my dead body!" shrieked Lucca. Her grip on the weakening warlock tightened as she aimed her gun at the Supreme Chancellor and fired a few misguided blasts. "Magus, if you've got a plan, now would be a good time!"

Magus began mumbling something under his breath.

"I think he's unconscious," said Marle. "Ow! He just stomped on my foot!"

Robo stepped in front of the wizard just in time to deflect a bullet intended for the warlock's heart.

"Give up! You have no chance," said the Chancellor.

Lucca sighed with relief as the castle faded away.

The inventor helped the wizard lie down on the ground and get comfortable before looking around. The group was beneath the canopy of an old, gnarled oak tree, a tree that stood alone in the middle of a small forest clearing. Carved into the oak were several nearly invisible symbols, their forms nearly lost to the passage of time.

Lucca shook her head. This place seemed unfamiliar.

"Magus, where are we?"

The sorcerer opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Lucca knelt beside the wizard and repeated her question.

In a voice barely above a whisper, Magus asked, "Lucca, c... c... could I... I h-hold your hand?"

Marle's eyes widened as Lucca smiled slightly and extended her hand towards the wizard's. "No! Lucca, it's a trap!"

Lucca shook her head as she took the wizard's hand in her own. "Whoa, I feel kind of dizzy all of the sudden."

"Natural effect of the spell, Lucca. I borrowed a little bit of your life energy to sustain myself," said Magus. The wizard leaned up a little from the ground as Lucca's life energy surged through his system, temporarily propping up his weakened body.

"Ah," Lucca nodded. "So, where are we?"

"This forest clearing is—or rather, this hilltop was—one of the more defensible secret hideouts of the Mystics before I came to power. This is where I first met Ozzie."

"Oh."

Marle watched the exchange between Magus and Lucca with growing annoyance. "Hey! You didn't steal as much of her life power as you stole from me," pouted Marle.

"She's not expendable," Magus replied.

"WWHHHHAAAATTTT!?"

"Shut your trap, wench! You nearly drove me out of my skull back at the castle with al—"

"So, what're we gonna do?" interrupted Crono, hoping he could defuse the situation before someone got Dark Mattered.

"We are going to demonstrate the injustice that was done to us, what else? After all," said Lucca, "we're outlaws now, so how's a little muckraking going to hurt us?"

"So to better our chances of forgiveness by King Guardia, we're going to take his daughter and broadcast a broadcast blatantly critical of the monarchy," said Crono. "Sounds perfectly logical, doesn't it?"

"Yup," said Marle, nodding her head vigorously.

"Oro," moaned the red-haired swordsman. "I'm not going to get out of this one, am I?"

"I fear not, Sir Crono," said Frog.

Lucca's evil laughter echoed through the forest.

* * *

Night was beginning to fall upon the clearing. Crono shivered as he glanced towards Lucca. Roughly twenty feet away, the inventor was huddled over the damaged LuccaVision camera. Magus's prone form was laid out beside her. Robo was sitting next to Lucca, two wires extending from his power supply giving the camera power. Frog was sleeping against a tree while Marle was grumbling about "the in-surf-er-able wizard." 

"The LuccaVision camera's lens is broken," Crono told himself. "Without a lens, we can't film, I don't overthrow King Frog, and I don't become a real outlaw." He sighed in relief. Lucca did not have a spare lens for the camera and obviously didn't have access to the precision equipment required to make a new one. There could be no broadcast until the lens was replaced.

As for Crono himself, a certain irrational disquietude had seized his mind. The teenage swordsman shivered again, in spite of the relatively warm early fall evening. Lucca had already explained her rethought and revised plans for the broadcast to the group, and he did not like his character, revolutionary Johnny A. Goodman, one bit.

For a moment, he caught Magus's weakened voice on the wind murmuring something about pinholes and cardboard. Crono felt his heart rate skyrocketing. The twisted genius intellect of Magus always had a certain way of manifesting itself in the worst possible ways at the worst possible moments.

Seconds later, Lucca jumped up and laughed her trademark laugh. Crono's heart sank as he realized that this was one of those worst possible moments.

"Magus, you... you... you... you genius, you! It's genius, I tell you, genius! A pinhole camera! A lens made of a hole in a piece of cardboard? Poppycock! Yet it works! Garharharhar! Places everyone, we are about ready to film!"

"Must we?"

"Oh, yes, Crono, we must," replied Lucca. "Places!"

The teenage swordsman knew that there was no arguing with Lucca once she had made up her mind about something. With heavy heart, he submitted to the inventor's will.

* * *

"So, you're telling me that while I was off delivering my V-Day speeches, the sorcerer Magus, the inventor Lucca, the robot Robo, the knight Frog, and the swordsman Crono kidnapped my daughter Marle, eh?" King Guardia jabbed his fork at the Supreme Chancellor and frowned in annoyance. "Sure this isn't a cover for some nefarious plan of yours that you're hiding from me that went wrong?" 

"Oh no, milord, it happened right before my very eyes. They came and took her."

King Guardia nodded. "Just like when Crono kidnapped Marle when he met her at Leene Square, right?"

"Of course, mi—wait a moment, milord! Do I detect a note of distrust in your illustrious vo-"

"Pipe down," said King Guardia with annoyance. The King returned his attention back to his dinner.

The Chancellor sighed and began to eat his own meal.

"Besides my speeches, how did the rest of the V-Day festival go?"

The Chancellor gulped. "Well, I had a special event planned, but I decided to scrub it and go with our usual celebrations."

The king's eyes narrowed as he 'hmmed' suspiciously. After a long moment, he said, "By the way, I'm feeling rather bored. Think there's any entertainment on the LuccaVision?"

"It has been a long day, sir. Perhaps a nice bath and a nice, warm glass of goat's milk—"

"Turn on the LuccaVision and stop blabbering."

"Yes, milord."

* * *

Lucca checked over all of the equipment again. The two long wires connecting the camera to Robo's power supply were firmly connected, and were not at risk of breaking or coming loose. The inventor had initially been concerned that being located in the middle of nowhere, there would be no LuccaVision sets close enough to receive the faint signals of the camera's small internal transmitter. Magus had alleviated her concerns by magically producing a bit of wire, instructing her to cut it to a certain length, and then telling her to connect it in place of the camera's built in antenna. He assured her that being on top of a hill, combined with the improved antenna, would, by virtue of 'line-of-sight' communications, ensure that this broadcast would be heard. 

Lucca nodded to herself as she reviewed their conversation. 'Line-of-sight' communications. She was going to have to ask him what that meant one day.

She sighed. When she and her friends had first met Magus, he had been the most egoistical, pompous, distrustful jerk she had ever met. Now, he was still egoistical and pompous, but he had apparently accepted her and her parents into the tiny circle of people he appeared to trust. Sometimes he went as far as being civil to them. Lately, it seemed that he had even begun to treat Lucca with something resembling respect. He was truly an enigma.

Lucca blinked. She reviewed the wizard's unusual behavior in her mind. The unusual behavior had really first started when he'd agreed to help with _Shades of Flame_, which was in and of itself unusual, as Magus only helped others when it also helped himself. Then he'd nearly killed himself when he had learned that he would be the hero of _Shades of Flame_ while Frog would be the heroine... which, in retrospect, wasn't too terribly unusual. He had been genuinely concerned that he had ruined _Shades of Flame_ with his acting. Then, he'd been there to support her, even if it had been for his own selfish desire not to lose face. He respected her and her parents and usually honored their requests. He was an electronics genius. He had shown concern for her well-being repeatedly. He'd even taken getting beat up remarkably well, something Lucca now had to admit he hadn't deserved at all.

Was it possible that this enigma of a man had chosen to reveal his mysteries to her? Or was he doing it subconsciously? Lucca felt herself beginning to smile. Grouchy and arrogant though he was, there was little doubting that he was fascinating, and her scientific mind was eager to learn more.

Lucca shook her head. Such idle thoughts were dangerous. She was almost certainly making mountains out of molehills. Putting the final touches on the camera, she chuckled at her tendency to jump to conclusions.

* * *

It was now nighttime. The full moon lit the clearing like late afternoon. Crono heard Lucca chuckle, followed by the sounds of the camera being given a final once-over. It was almost time. 

The teenage swordsman reviewed his part. While on a date, he and his fiancé, Marle, AKA Maria B. Goodwoman, would be accosted by the royal guards. He would fight nobly, but in the end, Maria would be taken captive for being a sorceress. He would enter the 'castle' to save her, where he would be tossed into the dungeon. Thus imprisoned, he would receive instruction from mentors Lucca, AKA Lady Nemo, and Magus, AKA Doctor Cudgel. Escaping imprisonment, he would overthrow the villainous King Frog and rescue lady fair. As befitting the part he was to play, by morning there would almost certainly be a price on his head for sedition and inciting insurrection.

"Oh woe, oh woe, oh woe is me," murmured Crono. Sweat began to bead on his forehead. Even to a hero, an army of bounty hunters was a thing to fear.

"Action!" called Lucca.

Crono took a deep breath. At least fate was against them, he reflected. Somehow, this broadcast would probably fail miserably.

Crono, AKA Johnny, stepped out of the shadows, into the camera's field of view, where Marle, AKA Maria, awaited. "Good evening, M-Maria," said Crono.

The teenage swordsman glanced at the camera as Marle spoke her lines. Lucca was between a reclining Magus, Frog, and Robo, sitting on the ground behind the camera, which had been placed upon a stump to hold it steady. Crono's eye lingered on Lucca for a moment. Never before had he seen such raw determination and hope so plainly expressed on a person's face.

Crono made his decision. Even if this broadcast was doomed to failure and guaranteed to make him one of Guardia's most wanted, he wouldn't back down. He would do his darnedest to make at least his part a success, even in the face of future adversity. Putting his most realistic lover's smile on, Johnny A. Goodman embraced Maria.

* * *

"An unannounced broadcast," said King Guardia with some surprise. "I guess they must be doing a rehers—why do you look so... pale?" 

The Supreme Chancellor was doing his ghost impression, turning a most striking shade of white. "I-I feel sick, milord."

"Well then, it's good that this is on. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine! Lucca's broadcasts never fail to be great!"

"Oh yes, I'm sure it will be," said the Chancellor weakly.

* * *

"I'm so glad our wedding is nearly here," said Maria. "It's hard to believe that next week, I'll be Mrs. Goodman." 

"I can't wait," replied Johnny. He pulled his fiancé into a tighter hug.

"Johnny, may I ask you something?"

"Anything, love."

Crono quirked his eyebrows up. His legs felt like they were being tickled. He stole a quick glance towards the camera. Magus was pointing at him and tapping Lucca's shoulder. The inventor's expression of determination promptly faded into horror and dejected frustration.

Crono firmly decided that in this situation, ignorance as to what was happening to his legs was bliss.

For a moment, Johnny held Maria in his arms. Then she suddenly pushed him away. "Johnny, what if one day, we had to part? What then would we do?"

Johnny patted Maria on the back. "I'll always be there for you, love."

"I hope so," she replied.

Crono winced as something stuck his skin.

Maria sniffled. "I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I'll always love you."

"Is something wrong?"

"Johnny, I never told you, but I-I'm a black m—Yargghhh!" Marle's eyes widened with surprise.

"Huh?" said Johnny / Crono. The evil palace guard Robo had only just arrived on scene, and hadn't yet made his presence known to the heroes.

Maria / Marle shook her bottom and then rubbed it against her hand. She patted her fanny a few times and winced.

Crono glanced at the camera and gulped as Lucca curled her hand around the Wondershot.

"Something tickled me," she whispered. Robo suddenly grabbed Maria / Marle around her waist.

Maria screamed, as planned.

Johnny drew his sword. "Let her go! What are you doing?"

Maria continued to scream.

"I'm taking her to the palace," said Robo, in his best evil soldier's voice. "By order of King Frog, she is to be executed for being a black mage."

Crono waited patiently for Marle to say her line.

He waited.

He waited.

Marle continued to scream.

Crono spoke, "Maria, what horrible injustice! Should we protest it?"

Marle / Maria screamed. Then, she began to say something.

Crono nodded expectantly and encouragingly.

"I'm gonna get eaten alive!"

Crono blinked. He stepped forwards towards Marle. His leg suddenly burst into flame.

Crono grit his teeth and growled as he realized that he and Marle were standing in the midst of one of fate's cruel traps. Resolving to not move and stray from the script, regardless of what was happening, the teenage swordsman glanced down at the ground.

The ground and Crono and Marle's legs were boiling with ants.

* * *

The Supreme Chancellor sputtered, pointing his finger at the LuccaVision screen as Marle shook and rubbed her butt at the camera. "How terribly lewd! Look at what they're forcing your poor daughter to do!" 

Thrice, Marle patted her rear, saying, "Something tickled me."

The Chancellor turned towards the King, and spluttered reproachingly, "Milord!"

King Guardia was unimpressed. "Doesn't look too forced to me. She does that stuff all the time. And I'm not the one patting my hiney, so don't look at me like that."

Onscreen, Marle was screaming, in the clutches of the evil Robo. "By order of King Frog, she is to be executed for being a black mage," said the LuccaVision.

King Guardia raised his eyebrows. "Interesting plot twist. Where do you suppose they're going with this?"

"I-I haven't the foggiest," said the Chancellor.

Marle was still screaming.

King Guardia blinked as he looked closely at the LuccaVision screen. There seemed to be black dots swarming on Marle and Crono's legs. He quickly dismissed it as static.

"I'm gonna get eaten alive!"

King Guardia's eyes widened. He stared into the LuccaVision screen, watching as Crono clenched his fists and growled while Marle flailed about.

The truth suddenly dawned on him.

"They're standing on an anthill," he intoned.

The Supreme Chancellor made choking noises as he covered his mouth with his hands.

"My poor girl," said the King, aghast at his helplessness in this situation.

Crono continued to stand in the middle of the anthill, growling louder and louder as his determination not to stray from the script battled with the pain in his legs. Robo began brushing ants from the princess. Marle continued to scream bloody murder.

"They're crawling all over me! They're going to bite me! It's going to hurt!" Marle cried. "I'll break out in blisters, and I'll be screaming, and I'll be laid up for years, and I'll never be able to eat solid food again, and—"

"Shut up, stupid wench," muttered the LuccaVision. A dark cloud rolled across the scene. Abruptly, the screaming came to an end.

"Hey, they all died!" Marle grinned. "Thanks, Maggie! Not even a scratch!"

The King's body shook. Finally, he could contain himself no longer. He laughed aloud, relieved and entertained at the same time. This was going to be great.

* * *

Crono sighed with relief. Magus's Dark Mist had done wonders in killing the ants. Ignoring Magus's whispered screams of gory sickle-bladed doom to Marle for her new nickname, he drew his katana, ignoring his painfully smarting legs. "If you are a man, you wastrel, release Maria and fight!" 

Robo laughed his strange grating laugh. "You can't win!"

Using Maria / Marle as a shield, Robo ran at Crono / Johnny, throwing a reduced strength Rocket Punch.

Crono pivoted back on his feet to avoid Robo's metal fist. Suddenly, the back of his shoe caught on something. For a moment, Crono pondered if fate's laughter sounded like Robo's as he tripped on a hidden root. Thankfully, Robo's Rocket Punch soared over the teenage swordsman's head.

Robo ran with Marle / Maria into the forest.

And with that, it started to rain.

* * *

"Nice special effect," said King Guardia. "You can still see the moon, but it's raining. I guess Lucca must need the moonlight for the LuccaVision to work." The King turned to the Chancellor, who was attempting to sneak out of the room. "And stay here. You will sit there," the King pointed to the Chancellor's seat, "and you will enjoy it!"

* * *

Lucca attempted not to scream in frustration, finally settling on an angry, "Figures." Magus, Frog, and herself were completely dry, and the sky was cloudless, except for one very small cloud directly over the impromptu stage. 

Lucca watched in disbelief as she moved the camera, and the cloud drifted to compensate.

The inventor shook her fist at the sky.

The wind began to blow.

Crono and Frog stepped into the rain to begin the castle scene of the play. Lucca moaned while Magus chuckled and gave Frog a thumbs-up as the knight-turned-frog slipped in the mud, did a sloppy, funky dance to maintain balance for a moment, and finally fell flat on his face.

* * *

The Supreme Chancellor watched with a growing sense of impending doom as King Guardia watched Johnny A. Goodman kneeling in the mud, begging the mud-soaked King Frog for the release of Maria. 

"Mine idiotic Supreme Chancellor hath recommended that all workers of the black magics be exterminated, thou pathetic, worthless commoner, and in all mine years hath I unquestioningly, foolishly, and stupidly stood by mine Chancellor's decisions," thundered King Frog.

King Guardia turned his attention to his Supreme Chancellor, observing how the old man had flinched with the words 'pathetic, worthless commoner.' "You might as well come clean now," said the King. "It's pretty obvious that you did something behind my back that backfired spectacularly."

"Come clean of what, milord?" said the Chancellor.

"My King, treason is something I would never dream of! I'm loyal, sir, to the crown, but my Maria—"

"Guards, take this silly peon to the dungeons!" shouted the LuccaVision.

The Chancellor winced at the cruel irony.

* * *

Lucca sat down beside the reclining Magus and took a deep breath. Crono walked with Robo towards Lucca and Magus and stood off to the side, ready to be 'tossed into the dungeon.' 

Seeing that all was ready, Lucca began to give the signal to Frog to turn the LuccaVision camera on the stump to face them.

"Um, Lucca?" said Magus.

"Go ahead."

The wizard's voice dropped to a barely hearable level, clearly intended for Lucca's ears alone. "My stomach is feeling... unsettled," he stated in as dignified a manner as possible. "My overexertions earlier are coming back to haunt me."

"I'll be happy if you do your best," Lucca whispered back. The inventor gave the signal to Frog.

The rain began pouring down on the warlock prince and the inventor as Frog aimed the camera at them.

Crono took a deep breath as Robo flung him into the camera's field of view, reminding himself that no matter what happened, he wouldn't let this LuccaVision production fail because of him.

"Ah, a new prisoner," said Lucca, AKA Lady Nemo, as Crono splashed down in a puddle.

"Another poor slob whom the King fears, I suppose," agreed Doctor Cudgel, AKA Magus, as a wave of mud from Crono's landing washed over him.

Johnny curled up into a ball, sobbing, "My poor Maria... whatever will become of us... our hopes... our dreams..."

"Boy," called Doctor Cudgel, "what ails you?"

"Ails me?"

Magus groaned before speaking. His stomach emitted a loud rumbling noise. "Physically, you look fine, but you're obviously lovesick and distressed. How 'bout you tell us about your problem?"

"I'm Lady Nemo," said Lucca, "and this is my consort, Doctor Cudgel. We're activists if you will, people skilled in granting wishes and providing people with a way to solve their problems. What's the difficulty you've run into?"

"Well," said Johnny, who proceeded to explain his situation. "I'm engaged to Maria Goodwoman. I knew she had some kind of magical power, yet I cared for her, not because of her power, but because of who she was. We were to be married. Then the King's guards took her for being a black mage and tossed me in here for protesting."

Doctor Cudgel and Lady Nemo listened sympathetically.

As Johnny spoke, Frog leaned against a dead tree just off camera at the forest clearing's edge. Robo followed the knight-turned-frog's lead, and leaned against the same tree. Suddenly, the tree, its root support weakened by the mud and already strained by the wind, began to fall towards Crono. The empty branches of the tree crashed around the teenage swordsman, narrowly missing him.

Without missing a beat, Johnny continued talking. When he finished, Lady Nemo spoke.

"Let us tell you a story about a kingdom not so distant from our own. It all began when an inventor discovered how to build a system of transferring moving images and sound across the air, called LuccaVision. Her name was Lucca Ashtear, and she asked her friends, Magus, a dark wizard, Crono, a swordsman, Frog, a knight, Robo, a robot, Ayla, a cavewoman, and Marle, the princess of the land, to help her produce shows for the LuccaVision. But then, one day..."

* * *

Panic was written all over the Supreme Chancellor's face as Lady Nemo and Doctor Cudgel went in gory detail after gory detail, clearly outlining him as an evil fiend who completely controlled a clueless, incompetent, and inept monarchy. 

King Guardia's earlier annoyance had long become full blown righteous anger. "And what, pray tell, possessed you to think that stringing up one of the heroes that saved the world was a good idea?"

At a loss for diplomatic words, the Chancellor said the first thing that came to his mind. "Well, it's V-Day, and their last LuccaVision broadcast contradicted the crown's official propaganda on Magus. Actually, milord, I wasn't going to have him hanged. I was going to have his head chopped off."

"I'm getting rather tired of all the shenanigans you pull. They always are done behind my back, they never work, and you always manage to foist the blame onto me! Well, not this time!"

"In all fairness, milord, it was Yakra XIII who did most of those shenanigans, not me."

King Guardia gave the Chancellor a look that clearly stated 'sorry, that's just not going to work.' "I'd like a reason why I even keep you around, as you are clearly incompetent and corrupt."

"Now milord, as you know, our constitution requires the kingdom to select a Supreme Chancellor for life unless proven of treason by the legal system to run the legal system and act as a 'vice-king' in the event that the old king is unable to rule and has no heirs who are of age. That's why you keep me around."

"So I can't get rid of you because you control the courts."

"Exactly! Now, milord, you wound me with your harsh and hateful words. I merely do all I can to serve you and the kingdom."

"I want to kill the person who made that law," said King Guardia.

The Supreme Chancellor replied, "Life's not always fair, is it? That'd be King Guardia XXI."

On the LuccaVision, Lady Nemo had finished with his story.

"So what can I do?" asked Johnny Goodman.

"The answer is clear," replied Doctor Cudgel. "My friend, the injustices of the King have gone on long enough. Lady Nemo and I were thrown in here for being activists for justice and freedom, just as you are here as an activist for love. The answer, my friend, is revolution! The monarchy must be overthrown!"

"WHAATTTT?!" shrieked King Guardia.

"Just to let you know in advance, any legal charges of corruption have to approved by me," said the Supreme Chancellor.

"I'll show you charges of corruption!" The King stood, lifted his chair over his head, and turned towards the Chancellor.

"Milord, w-what are you doing with that?"

"Oh, don't you want to know?," chuckled the King, a crazed glint reflecting in his eyes.

* * *

"Haha! Thou canst win," cackled the evil King Frog. 

Off to the side, the evil palace guard Robo was lying in the mud, 'killed.' King Frog was clutching his chest, stage blood running down his mud-soaked robes.

"For justice!" Johnny 'slashed' his katana at Frog, the tip of the blade falling about a foot short of its intended target.

"Freedom!" Another 'slash.'

"And Love!" Crono / Johnny thrust his katana into the air between Frog's right arm and his body.

Evil Frog expired.

As Johnny freed Maria, Lucca sighed. The broadcast was nearly over. As Crono and Maria embraced, proclaiming their undying affection, the inventor glanced at Magus.

Lucca raised an eyebrow as the wizard began making wild gesticulations. His eyes widened in alarm.

"Magus, I don't understand what you mean by opening and closing your hand in front of your mouth while puffing up your cheeks," whispered Lucca.

"Maria, I'm so glad we're together again," said Johnny onstage.

"I love you with all my soul, my hero," crooned Maria.

Johnny and Maria began to kiss.

Magus's frantic gesticulations had reached a new height in graphic pantomime. Lucca's eyes widened with realization. She hurried to Magus's aid.

As Johnny and Maria deepened their kiss, Magus finally lost control. Making a loud gagging noise, he retched.

Lucca and Frog responded in unison, instinctively saying, "Ewwww, gross!"

Marle and Crono stopped kissing at the interruption and cast Lucca and Frog a most evil glare.

Lucca ignored the glare and sent Frog to turn off the camera while she attended to the wizard.

Crono took a deep breath. It was time for his final lines. The teenage swordsman thought back on the performance. Yes, fate had been against him at every turn, but he'd risen to each challenge and, in the end, emerged triumphantly. His performance had been impeccable; he'd not once deviated from script, save the few exceptions required to keep the production going semi-smoothly. Crono smiled, proud of having neither personally disappointed himself or contributed to the sullying of Lucca's latest enterprise. He launched into his final lines with conviction and a sense of true triumph.

"And thusly did an average man triumph, saving the land and his lady. Emerging a hero, he ushered in an era of democratic peace and equality. And so he lived the rest of his days with his love," Crono pulled Marle close to him, and turned his back to the camera, "and continued ever onwards in his pursuit of justice, freedom, and..." Crono raised his katana high above his head...

Pure silence descended upon the world as Lucca's vision filled with light. Magus looked up from his retching as his eyes saturated with white. Frog gaped at the brilliance as he stared at Crono and Marle. The teenage swordsman's and princess's skeletons were flickering black outlines as the tiny rain cloud over the stage belched forth its lightning.

Lucca felt the ground slip out from under her as a pulse of calm-rending thunder blasted her back. The brilliance faded. A shock wave ripped through the air as spheres of crackling electricity sputtered off of Crono and Marle. Smoke hissed from the shriveled remains of Crono's katana, the hilt still firmly situated in the teenage swordsman's hand.

The rain and wind stopped, and the rain cloud over the set, having exhausted itself with its final exertion, vanished.

For a moment, everything was quiet.

Lucca finally moved. She rolled off of Magus, who had taken the brunt of her fall, and stood.

"... love," squeaked Crono / Johnny. Miniature lightning bolts radiated from his standing-on-end hair.

Lucca ran to help the lightningstruck lovers, ignorant of her latest gift to the world: satirical political comedy.

* * *

And thusly, episode 4 of _The Masadoom and Company_ draws to a close. Man, I really wish FF . net wouldn't nuke my formatting. Once again, I'll try to update soon, but when Real Life(c) rears its ugly head, mere mortals must obey... Anyway, tune in again, same time, same channel, for more of _The Masadoom and Company_! And remember, only through feedback gained through reviews can this author improve. 


	6. The LuccaVision News Network

The LuccaVision News Network

© 2005 by hyperdrive

* * *

Well, despite a broken hand, final exams from Hell, graduation, and a sudden emergency requiring a rapid, misguided, and confused journey to New York, I'd say this episode is almost timely (yeah, right...) This episode is intended only for external and mental use. It is not designed for other forms of internal consumption, which may cause bloating, hyperactivity, and a sudden urge to cosplay as characters from Chrono Trigger. Note that I, hyperdrive, am not responsible for irresponsible use of this story, and as always, despite the ambitions of the author, I don't own the characters from Chrono Trigger (sigh.) In other words, if you read this and spontaneously combust, it's not my fault. Maybe you read it wrong. I don't know. But before we start the show... 

Your Reviews, Hard at Work: Thank you, Wing Omega. I have verified Yakra's 'generation number' for correctness. Yes, Kit Thespian, I have indeed read _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. _I haven't tried to imitate its style, but maybe a bit of Douglas Adams's (may you rest in peace, O great one) greatness has rubbed off on this tale (we could always hope...?)

To all who have reviewed, thank you! Remember, only through your reviews can this author hope to improve his works. So review, if you please.

And now, without further ado...

* * *

It was the morning after the previous LuccaVision broadcast. Since the broadcast, all of Guardia Castle had been in a state of uproarious flux as King Guardia's advisers attempted to find a diplomatic way to defuse the damage potentially done by Lucca's latest creation. The in-castle conflict finally culminated, reaching its climax when a small mounted caravan of castle guards, liaisons, and publicists, led by King Guardia and the Supreme Chancellor, left the castle for Lucca's house. 

The Supreme Chancellor bounced awkwardly in his saddle. A wet strip of brown paper was wrapped around his head like a sweatband. Occasionally it dripped vinegar. "Milord, please! I believe I'm getting saddle sor—oh, my head!"

For a few moments, King Guardia made a show of ignoring the Chancellor's whining. He tried to enjoy the simple pleasure of riding his favorite horse, a spirited white stallion of impeccable breeding and bearing. He attempted to strike up an intellectual conversation with one of the guards.

The Chancellor continued to whine.

"I feel like my poor little skull is going to split open! And my poor behind! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!"

The King rolled his eyes and glared back at the Chancellor. "Are you quite done?"

"Not yet. My poor little neck's killing me!"

"Well, this is all your fault. If you hadn't arrested Lucca and her friends to try to capture and kill Magus, they wouldn't have made that seditious little broadcast of theirs, and I wouldn't have clocked you with my chair. So stop whimpering."

"Assault and battery I tell you," the Chancellor moaned. "That's precisely what this is! And restriction of my rights as head of the legal system! This isn't fair! No fair!"

"And as King, that part of the legal system doesn't apply to me. I merely acted to 'preserve the interests of the state' and to prevent 'unlawful control of the monarchy.'"

"I'm well aware of Guardia's Constitution and what you can get away with. It's still wr—ouch! My butt!"

"Shut up already! Besides, I think you deserved to get hit with that chair."

"I don't."

"I do, and I enjoyed it, and that's what counts."

"This is despotism, pure and simple!"

"This is a constitutional monarchy. What else is a monarch for, if not to rule? Now pipe down! Remember, I don't want to have to prevent anymore 'unlawful control of the monarchy.'"

The Chancellor fell silent.

"Now, what we are going to do is go to the Ashtear residence and politely ask Lucca to do a retraction of her previous broadcast."

"How do you even know she'll be home? They were hiding in the forest, remember? And why aren't you concerned about Marle? She got struck by lightning too."

"I know Lucca'll be home because Crono and Marle got struck by lightning, remember?" the King retorted mockingly, "She can't take them to a hospital, because they report all major injuries to the police, and all the ways a person could wind up in the hospital for extreme electric shock involve Lucca. She'll think that the last place people would look for her is at home, so to her home she'll go. And as for Marle, I'm sure she's fine. Crono's magic is lightning elemental, and any soldier's basic training teaches them that a creature with lightning-based magic absorbs, or at least survives, lightning. He would have taken the shock for her. So she's fine."

* * *

After Crono and Marle had ruined the previous LuccaVision broadcast by attracting an errant lightning bolt, Lucca had persuaded Magus to teleport everyone to her house for medical treatment, a chance to get cleaned up, and to rest. Eight hours later, it was apparent that somehow, Crono and Marle were mostly unharmed. In that time, everyone had taken the opportunity to avail themselves upon the restroom and shower. They were almost ready to start another day as fugitives of the crown and the law. 

"For the last time, Lucca, I'm not giving you any of my bodily fluids!" Crono cried out. The teenage swordsman was lying on Magus's cot, his poofed out hair cushioning his head against the fabric.

"But Crono, you got struck by lightning last night!" Lucca said excitedly. She adjusted the strap on her new helmet before picking up a cotton swab and a cup filled with a watery liquid from her desk.

"I'm well aware of that. Thank heavens I'm lightning elemental and conducted most of the zap around my vitals or me and Marle'd be dead right now, not just a bit... shocked."

"You'd both be at least disabled. But what if channeling all that power caused some sort of genetic mutation? Maybe your I.Q. will double or you'll gain laser vision or something. This is immensely important to science!"

"You're an inventor. Inventors are more physicists, not biologists, right?"

Lucca sniffed disdainfully. "I'm a student of all sciences: all sciences are equally important. Now, Crono, all I need is a fresh DNA sample." She held the cup and swab out to Crono hopefully. "A DNA sample doesn't actually need bodily fluids. Just swab the inside of your cheek and put the swab in the cup."

"And then what'll you do?"

"I'll put it on ice, and if you start to exhibit mutations, I'll figure out what happened from the sample."

"Then how 'bout we wait until I start showing these 'mutations' before you get the sample? Can I get out of bed? I'm feeling fine now."

Lucca was about to respond when Frog and Taban entered the room.

"I bring good tidings, my Lady. Lady Marle is resting comfortably. She doth seem to be well, save her hair, which art like Sir Crono's."

"And Magus?"

"He's sitting on the couch downstairs giving me advice on the transistor-based LuccaVision amplifier," replied Taban.

Frog left the room.

"Taban, your daughter is demanding that I give her a DNA sample," said Crono. "Tell her to stop it."

"That's not very nice, Lucca," Taban said disinterestedly. "So far, the efficiencies we're getting with those transisto—DNA sample?"

"I want to see if the lightning caused Crono to mutate or anything."

"Mutate?" Taban blinked. His eyes widened. "You mean like getting super powers? Give me that cup, Lucca!"

"Thank you, Taban," Crono sighed as the elder inventor confiscated the sampling materials from Lucca. "I was starting to get nervous."

"Your welcome, Crono. Now, boy, open your mouth."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on. One DNA sample, that's all. Lucca, hold him down. Come on, Crono, say 'Ahhhhh.'"

Crono searched for an escape route. Unfortunately, Lucca and Taban were rapidly approaching from either side of the bed, and of the remaining ends, one was against a wall while the sole unguarded end of the bed seemed leagues distant. Escape was impossible. Suddenly, inspiration struck. "LARA! LARA! Taban and Lucca are trying to turn me into a science experiment!"

The two inventors vanished with remarkable rapidity.

* * *

Exorcised from her room by Crono's invoking of Lara, Lucca deftly evaded her mother by leaving the second floor and hiding out with Taban and Magus in the living room. 

Taban had returned to working on the LuccaVision amplifier. The elder inventor was peering through a microscope as he deftly etched patterns into a smoked glass slide with a small metal tool.

Lucca sat down beside the wizard. "What's up?"

Magus spoke. "I'm showing your father how to create a mask for photo etching a field-effect transistor. Transistors are too small to build directly, so you have to use light-sensitive silicon that will harden or soften when exposed to light."

Lucca thought for a moment. "Silicon's an insulator. You'd have to add impurities to make it conduct, and even then it'd be a semiconductor, like you mentioned earlier... oh, wait... I see how these transistor things work! They're just high speed electronic switches!"

Magus nodded approvingly. "Very good. Yes, they are tiny switches. By modifying the basic transistor design, you can create transistors that you can make stuff like amplifiers from. Taban, your daughter is very sharp."

The elder inventor glanced up from the microscope. "Just because you had to explain to me how the darn things worked six times doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'm just used to working with cathode ray tubes, that's all. Ah! This should do it!"

"Let me look," said Magus.

To Lucca's surprise, the wizard stood slowly and walked carefully over to Taban. He adjusted his eyepatch and looked into the microscope with his good eye. "Make your collector junction just a little bit wider." The wizard sat down beside Lucca again.

"So, Magus, whose life energy did you 'borrow' this morning?"

"No one's," Magus smirked. "Your wimpy little beating has almost healed now, Lucca. Well, except my eye. That will take a while longer."

"Impossible."

"That's what I thought," said Taban. "But he's been up and about all morning helping me with the amplifier. I'm going to see how breakfast is coming along." The elder inventor disappeared down the hall.

"I finally got full mental control of my magic power back, Lucca," said Magus. "I just focused it into healing."

"I thought you couldn't cast healing spells," said Lucca. "Besides, Marle couldn't heal you."

"I cannot cast them fast enough for effective use in combat, but I can. I'd be a pretty poor most powerful wizard in all history if I couldn't cast healing spells. And never compare me to Marle. There's more magic in one of my toenail clippings than she will ever possess in her life."

"You don't seem all that powerful," said Lucca.

"No man or woman alive has ever seen my true power. Shadow is the ultimate unification of all magic. You, Crono, and Frog were lucky my power was invested into summoning Lavos, or I'd have evaporated you all without a thought."

"I'm talking right now, present time. You still don't seem that powerful."

"My powers were weakened by my wounds from when I fought you at my castle. When I faced Lavos alone as the prophet, he drained what was left. I'm still trying to regain what I lost in those two battles."

Frog, Robo, and a very frizzy Marle entered the room and took seats.

"So, Sir Taban, how doth Maggie's 'transistorized' folly progress?"

Magus's eyes flashed as he glowered at Marle and then at the knight-turned-frog. "Froggy, say 'Maggie' again and I'll hasten your journey from this mortal coil."

"Maggie."

"Froggy!" said Magus. The Doomsickle appeared in his hand as the wizard stood.

"Maggie!" Frog drew the Masamune and drew to his feet.

"Froggy!" roared the wizard.

Crono appeared at the living room door. "Oh! A fight? Any good seats left?"

Frog and Magus scowled at each other for a moment before sitting down.

"Sir Crono, thou didst spoil this honorable duel with thy degrading words."

"You took all the fun out of the fight," Magus translated. "I will not be seen as mere entertainment."

"Aw, shucks," said Crono. He sat down. "So, what now? We're fugitives. What should we do? What can we do?"

"Well, we can't just sit around," said Marle. "I'll go to Daddy and get us all a pardon!"

"Lady Marle, thy pleas might wield greater authority if thou dost not flaunt thy royal heritage unless necessary."

A knocking came from the front door. "It's not the police!" called an unfamiliar voice.

Marle got up and went to answer the door.

"What if it's the police?" asked Robo.

Marle replied, "they said they weren't."

"I think Marle's right. I haven't heard any machine gun fire or screams or anything."

"See? Crono agrees!" Marle opened the door.

Immediately, the princess gasped and drew back as if she had happened upon a coiled rattlesnake. When the rest of the Crono Trigger crew saw what had entered the house, they responded in turn.

The thing that entered the house was unmistakable. It wore a light gray suit and carried a small briefcase. The tips of several sheets of paper poked out between the halves of the briefcase. A cigar stuck out of the top pocket of its suit jacket. It entered with the confident swagger of a predator who could strip a millionaire down to his undershorts with one legal brief.

"A lawyer," squeaked Lucca.

"Samuel Ulysses Edgarson, personal injury attorney," said the man. He offered Lucca his most persuasive toothpaste commercial smile and shook her hand.

"My hand feels so dirty," said the inventor.

The lawyer sat down on the couch besides Lucca and Magus. The wizard and the inventor promptly relocated to the loveseat across the room.

The lawyer sighed. "I'm here to sue for you, not against you. I'm a fan of your LuccaVision broadcasts, Lucca. Can I call you that? I like to be sort of informal with my clients. Anyway, I must say, at the end of a long day, nothing quite warms the heart like your well-developed sense of humor."

Lucca scowled. "They aren't supposed to be funny."

"Oh. Haha—um—I was just... kidding. Well, I saw your last two broadcasts, and I believe we could have an excellent case against the Royal House of Guardia, Lucca."

"What sort of case?" 

"A money sort of case. Oppression of free expression. Mental stress and duress. Unsafe use of a firearm. Risk to life and limb. Damage of property. Recurrent scarring emotional damage. You name it, we can allege it, and we can profit from it."

"And how much would _you_ be prof—" Magus was interrupted by another knocking from the door.

Marle opened it. "Daddy!"

"Marle, I'm so glad to see you! And thank heavens you're alright! My pea-brained inSupreme Chancellor," King Guardia entered the living room, "thought it would be a good idea to," the King's eye fell upon Mr. Edgarson. "Oh. Crap."

"King Guardia, me and Lucca were discussing what the government has put her and her friends through." The lawyer sighed dramatically. "Very stressful. Most regrettable. My name is Samuel Ulysses Edgarson, attorney at law specializing in the area of personal injury."

"Crap."

"Now, now, now, why are you so hostile? These poor people have been treated so badly already."

King Guardia sighed and turned to Lucca. "I'm almost afraid to ask but, um, how much money are you asking for?"

"Actually, sir, Mr. Edgarson hasn't been hire—" Lucca started.

The Supreme Chancellor entered the room. His gaze fell upon the lawyer. "Nephew! My little Sammy, how you've grown!"

"Uncle Roy? Uncle Roy, it's been so long!"

The Supreme Chancellor and the lawyer embraced.

King Guardia watched as uncle and nephew high-fived each other and began to brag of their legal exploits. "I'm screeeewwwwwwed," he moaned, grimacing. The King turned to Lucca. "I'll give you and your friends ten thousand each and a full pardon."

"What?" said Lucca.

"Fifty thousand and a full pardon."

"Huh?" said the inventor.

"One hundred thousand and a full pardon. Just don't sue, please?"

The Chancellor patted his nephew on the back. "Sammy my boy, are you suing King Guardia?"

"Yup."

"My little nephew's all grown up now," said the Chancellor. He brushed a tear away from his face. "He's taking on the big leagues."

King Guardia's desperation increased. "Lucca, two hundred thousand each, full pardon, and one hundred thousand a year to develop the LuccaVision."

"Two hundred thousand?" murmured Lucca, dazed.

The Supreme Chancellor adjusted the vinegar-soaked paper wrapped around his head, turned to the King, and chuckled maliciously. "Milord, as head of the legal system, I think this suit, whatever it is, is an open and shut case, once it's filed. There's no Constitutional protection for the monarchy in cases where the common people have grievances. You're guilty. I'm sure I can pick a jury that will agree."

The blood drained from the countenance of the King. "Lucca, two hundred thousand each, pardon, and a five hundred thousand a year ten year grant for LuccaVision."

Lucca's eyes went anime-swirly. "A ten year grant?"

"It'll be my greatest suit yet, Uncle. I'll make millions! Tens of millions!" The personal injury attorney and the Chancellor shared an evil laugh.

"Yes you will, my boy. I'll see to it!"

"Lucca, four hundred thousand each, pardon, and a five hundred thousand a year ten year grant for LuccaVision and any other research endeavors. You can even keep the change." The King folded his hands together as if praying. "Please? Please?"

Magus caught Lucca as she swooned. Leaning against the wizard, Lucca murmured, "I'll take it?"

"Oh, thank God," the King grinned widely. "Just say something favorable about the government in your next broadcast, Ok?"

Lucca shook her head dizzily. "Ok?"

The King turned towards the door and motioned. A man entered, bearing a partly filled out sheet of paper on a clipboard. King Guardia rattled the terms of the deal off to him.

The man wrote for a few moments, nodded, and gave the king the clipboard, paper, and pen. "All of your terms, milord. Here's the contract."

The King checked the contract, signed it, and then handed the contract and the pen to Lucca. "Lucca, read and sign here, please."

Lucca's brain was on the verge of short circuiting. "Magus... handle it..., please?"

Magus helped Lucca onto the couch and took the contract. He motioned for Crono and Marle to watch him as he read the contract and signed it. "Guardia, Lucca has given me authority to sign for her. Crono and Marle are my witnesses."

The King grinned. "Everyone, we're leaving! Our job is done."

The Supreme Chancellor and the attorney spun to face the King. "What!"

"Negotiations are closed. Lucca and I have come to an agreement. She even gets to keep her money, Mr. Edgarson." The King welcomed himself out, the Chancellor sputtering as he followed.

The attorney looked around for a few moments. He finally sighed. "I don't suppose I get a cut, do I?"

Magus shook his head. "Nope. Now, this is private property, so beat it, or I'll have Taban have you arrested."

The lawyer shook his head and left.

Taban entered the room. "Breakfast is read—" he took in the blank and stunned looks that greeted him. "What happened here?"

* * *

"My little girl's getting her first big grant," Taban murmured dreamily. His eyes drifted in and out of focus on the piece of pancake on the end of his fork. "Five million over ten years plus four hundred grand instant oatmeal spending money. Wow." 

"Four hundred grand for each person involved with the LuccaVision broadcasts," clarified Magus. The wizard paused to take a gulp of his orange juice. "The five million is for Lucca's scientific endeavors. She keeps whatever money is left over from her scientific efforts."

The pancake on Taban's fork slipped off, landing with a syrupy splat on the elder inventor's plate. "The king is just going to give her that money? Are you sure, Magus?" Taban's eyes were wide.

"Positive."

"Wow. My little Lucca's rich," Lara said, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"I'm rich," murmured Crono. He had a distant, pleased look in his eyes. "Imagine that. Hardly out of high school and I'm rich. Heck, we're all rich. All thanks to Lady Rockefeller over there."

"She's a big LuccaVision media mogul," said Marle. "Wow. I'm a little bit richer... Although... wait, if Daddy's giving the money to... hey... doesn't that mean I'm a little bit poorer? But... aw, um... my brain hurts... forget it! Pass the snausages, Frog."

Frog passed the sausage. "How much is four hundred thousand?"

"In this time period, enough to live life most comfortably," said Robo. "You don't seem very happy, madam Lucca."

"Did you hear that lawyer? Thinking that our broadcasts were supposed to be entertaining? They're supposed to be serious!" Lucca furiously stabbed her food with her fork and took a vindictive quarter-pancake chomp.

"Now, Lucca, I'm sure there are people who don't feel that way," said Lara.

"Once we get done with our latest broadcast, that is," growled Lucca. "Ladies and gentlemen, is there anything more serious than the news?"

"Current news?" asked Crono.

"Of course," said Lucca. Abruptly her tone changed, gaining increased depth and clarity. "Good evening, people of Guardia, and welcome to your one complete news source: your one news source guaranteed scientific and accurate, giving you the latest coverage of world events. Welcome to LNN, the eight o'clock LuccaVision News Network, with your hosts, Lucca Ashtear and..."

Marle looked up from her pancakes. "Who?"

"Thank you for volunteering, Marle," said Lucca. "All I need now is a few reporters. Garharharharhar!"

Frog, Robo, and Crono looked at each other. Magus shook his head. This did not look good.

* * *

In a distant, nearly forgotten corner of the future was a void where time slowly folded, tore, and funneled itself out of existence. Here, at the End of Time, was a small island suspended above nonexistence, inhabited only by Gaspar, the Guru of Time, and Spekkio, the God of War. Normally, very little happened at the End of Time. However, today was a landmark event: Gaspar had somehow acquired an unusual new gadget. 

"Mwahahahahah!" Gaspar laughed, unveiling before Spekkio a large wooden crate. The old man adjusted his squat black bowler hat and began to undo the crate's fasteners.

Spekkio gave the large box the best critical stare a war god in the guise of a pink Nu could manage. "What is that?"

"This is a device of truly rare vintage, my pink friend," said Gaspar.

The thin plywood walls of the crate fell away, revealing a rectangular prism-shaped plastic appliance. The plastic had an artificial woodgrain look. On one side of the appliance was a large gray glass screen. Beneath the screen were several knobs and buttons. Above the screen was silkscreened in heavily stylized cursive letters: "LuccaVision Limited Edition #42."

"This, Spekkio, is a LuccaVision. One of the first five hundred mass produced, in fact. It gets so boring here at the End of Time that I finally decided I had to have one. From what I gather," said Gaspar as he unpacked the LuccaVision's included rabbit ears antenna, "this device is most entertaining. Lucca and her friends are trying to produce a serious successful show for it."

The Guru attached the antenna to a long cable included with the LuccaVision. He then connected the antenna cable to the LuccaVision and turned the set on.

"Don't you need to plug that thing in? And doesn't the antenna need to be in Lucca's time period to receive her broadcasts?" asked Spekkio.

"Normally, yes to both questions." Gaspar's eyes twinkled. "However, I'm a Guru. I have ways of making things like this work."

Spekkio glanced at the LuccaVision set's power cord, which was lying uselessly on the ground. Despite not being plugged in, the LuccaVision was showing static on the screen and playing white noise over the internal speaker. "I'll take your word about the antenna. So is this 'LuccaVision' that telly thingy you once mentioned to me?"

"Yes, it is a telly," said the Guru. "In fact, it's one of the most entertaining things ever invented."

"Will we need to prepare anything before we can use it?"

"We'll need some sort of light snack." Gaspar sighed. "Well, I suppose the time has come."

"For what?"

"Lucca's team is incomplete."

"Incomplete?"

"Spekkio, I'm going on a little jaunt. According to the will of time, it's time for Ayla's return."

The god of war caught a note of something in the Guru's voice. "You're just doing this for your own amusement, aren't you, old man?"

Gaspar tried but failed to resist a mischievous smirk. "Maybe."

The Nu heaved an exaggerated sigh. "How horrible of you to do whatever you're about to do for your own twisted pleasure. I guess I have no choice but to get some popcorn."

* * *

It was a beautiful morning in the kingdom of Guardia. A few weeks prior, the checks from King Guardia had arrived and been distributed. Today, the Crono Trigger crew had once again gathered in the Ashtear living room. 

Lucca cleared her throat to speak. "So, how are things going, guys?"

"Not so hot," Crono frowned. "When Mom found out I'd gotten that money she made me open a bank account to save it in."

"What's wrong with that? You'll get interest and even more money that way."

"Yeah, but..." Crono's eyes assumed a wistful look. "I wanted to spend it. At least a little bit of it. But Mom says no dice until I'm 'mature enough' to handle money."

"What were you going to spend it on?"

Crono grinned. "You know how you have to spend money to make money?"

Lucca nodded.

"My mother apparently never heard of that saying. You see, there's this casino that just opened downtown an—"

Magus interrupted with a chuckle.

Lucca for a moment suspected that the lighting bolt had caused Crono's I.Q. to decrease rather than increase. She quickly changed the subject. "Other than that, how's things going?"

Magus smirked. "Lucca, good news. I've had all five hundred LuccaVision sets distributed to the people of Guardia."

"Huh? Five hundred sets?" asked Marle.

"All in good time, Marle. Excellent, Magus! Guys, it's finally time for our next broadcast!"

Taban entered the room. "Hey, Lucca, there's someone here to see you."

"Who is it?"

Ayla's voice called out, "Baud-cast? Baud-cast? What you say?" The voice was rapidly followed by the blonde cavewoman herself.

Lucca blinked confusedly. "Ayla? How did you get here?"

"Elder in weird headdress come, say purple hair need help! So Ayla come."

There was a moment of silence.

"Gaspar, you old codger," Magus shook his head. He adjusted his eye patch.

"This is for all the better," said Lucca happily. "Let me see. Robo, Frog, Crono, Magus, and Ayla make for five newscasters. Marle and I will be the anchors."

"Anchors? This lowly knight doth not understand thy usage of 'anchor,' my lady."

"I was just getting to that," replied Lucca. "Over the past several weeks, I have been preparing for this broadcast so it has the greatest possible chance of being a success. I've replaced the old and busted original camera with six new LuccaVision cameras, each equipped with the latest gizmos, gadgets, and optics to achieve maximum impressive factor and best picture quality. I've put together a small studio for our broadcasts so we have a place to plan and film broadcasts under controlled conditions. Finally, I hired a production company and had them make five hundred LuccaVision sets. Magus was kind enough to volunteer—"

"Kind enough?" interrupted Magus.

Lucca sighed. "Alright, I couldn't sell them, so Magus said he'd show me how it was done and he distributed them to the people."

"Lucca, expensive LuccaVision sets do not sell well using the lemonade stand 'as is, no warranty, minimal advertising' business model," chided the wizard. "Selling them was as easy as renting a quarter-page add in the newspaper, promising thirty day returns on defective sets, and waiting a few hours."

"Anyway," said the teenage inventor, "that should pretty much cover everything. Now, let's talk about the broadcast."

"Ahem," said Taban. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"I think I covered all of the bases."

"My truck, Lucca. You commandeered my truck."

"Truck?" said Crono.

"It's what I called the self-propelled wheeled contraption I built a few months ago. I _used _to use it for driving around town until Lucca commandeered it and I haven't seen it since. What happened to my truck, Lucca?"

"Important secret things," replied the inventor. "I'll tell you later. It's sort of a surprise."

"Uh-oh." Taban left the room.

"What baud-cast? What baud-cast?" demanded Ayla.

"Ayla, remember the Masadoom?" said Lucca. The inventor glared at Frog and Magus as the amphibian knight silently mouthed 'this is a tool worthy of me.' Magus responded by drawing a finger across his throat followed by an obscene gesture involving his middle fingers.

"Uh-huh," replied Ayla.

"We're doing another one, similar to that."

"Great fun!" Ayla punched a fist into the air gleefully.

Crono put his hand on his hair, which still retained much poofiness from the lighting strike, and winced. "I wouldn't necessarily agree with that."

"So what are we actually going to do?" asked Marle.

"Ok, follow me," said Lucca.

The inventor led her friends into a small building, formerly a glorified tool shed, behind the Ashtear residence. The floor, ceiling, and three walls of the building were covered with cheap blue-gray office carpeting. On one wall of the building was a workbench, upon which rested five complete LuccaVision cameras besides several cameras in various states of togetherness. Painted on each camera was a silver number. Against the opposite wall of the building was a black cabinet with several meters, buttons, lights, and knobs which sat next to several LuccaVision sets and a large mixer console. In the middle of the room were several camera mounting pedestals, one equipped with a LuccaVision camera. The camera was aimed at the end of the shed, where a very authoritative looking cherry wood desk and two sumptuously overstuffed leather chairs sat in front of a wall painted bright green. In front of the desk was a LuccaVision set, allowing the people sitting at the desk to monitor what was going out over the airwaves. Dozens of cables ran along the floor, held in place by copious amounts of the universal fixer-upper, duct tape.

"Guys, this is our new LuccaVision studio," said the teenage inventor proudly. "On this wall is the mixer console and the new LuccaVision amplifier. With the mixer console, we can have several different cameras running at once, and we can select which camera will be seen by the viewers. The black cabinet is Magus's transistor based LuccaVision amplifier, which lets our signal reach farther, broadcasting to more people."

"Maggie's folly," Frog explained.

"I warned you about that," said Magus. Three spheres of dark energy crackled into existence around the knight-turned-frog as the Doomsickle materialized in the wizard's hands. "And now..." the wizard paused for dramatic effect, "you're going to get it."

"Magus, Frog," said Crono.

Frog had drawn the Masamune and was preparing himself for battle. Magus glanced at Crono. "What!"

"I don't know if you two've noticed, but these little spats of yours are just like an old married couple fighting."

"What!" barked Frog.

"Don't worry," replied Crono in his most soothing voice. "We understand how when two people love each other—like in that old song: 'You always hurt the one you love—'"

Magus and Frog simultaneously screamed, the wizard turning whiter while the knight turned greener. The amphibian knight sank to the floor in a stunned gibbering mess. As for the wizard, he was shaking his head, his right hand pressed over his good eye as he murmured to himself.

"Thank you, Crono," said Lucca. "The wall with the workbench should be relatively self explanatory: it's my new LuccaVision workshop. This desk is where the news anchors sit and lead the news broadcast. As for the green wall, it is part of my latest LuccaVision special effect: the green screen. Through special circuitry in the camera, I can remove the green color and replace it with any background we see fit."

"Very interesting, madam Lucca," said Robo.

"I think so," the inventor glanced at Magus and Frog, who were still deep in the depths of emotional trauma. "Magus, Frog, snap out of it."

Neither Magus nor Frog responded.

Lucca sighed, exasperated. "Crono was kidding around, guys. We all know that you hate each other. And you know, acting all emotional like you are now only lends credence to what Crono said."

Magus and Frog looked up. Frog's eyes widened. Both suddenly acted as if nothing had happened, save an occasional gagging sound.

Lucca grinned. "Now, in a newscast, there are two main groups of people who appear on camera: the anchors and the newscasters, or reporters. The anchors sit here in the studio and give the "big picture" of the news to the viewers. The reporters travel to the places where the news is happening and give the details. Marle and I are the anchors. Everyone else gets to be reporters. As Marle and I talk about the news, we'll occasionally hand off to you reporters in the field. You thank us for introducing you, say your bit, and then hand back off to us."

"Sounds cool," said Crono.

"Last night, I picked up a copy of _The Guardia Daily Sun_," the inventor dug around the workbench, finally pulling out the newspaper from under a pile of miscellaneous camera parts. She tore open the paper's plastic wrapping and looked it over. "Just skimming the headlines, I see several opportunities for high quality reporting. Crono, how does reporting on 'Masculine Fashion Trend Sweeps Guardia' sound for you?"

"I like it," replied the teenage swordsman. "Besides, I've always been a trend setter."

"Hmm. 'Medieval Revival Festival and Tourney.' I wonder who might find that interesting."

"I shouldst enjoy such a mission, Lady Lucca."

"Thought so, Frog. 'Guardia Regional Science Fair Tonight.'"

Robo asked, "Can I?"

"Of course. 'The Circus Comes to Town.'"

"Clowns and trapeze artists! Wheeeeee! Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?"

"Marle, you're an anchor. Sorry, but you can't leave."

"BUUUUUMMMMMMMEEERRRR!"

"Ayla likey!"

"Ok," said Lucca. "Last one. Magus, how does 'New Business Opens in Marketplace,' sound?"

Magus nodded.

Lucca grinned widely. "Broadcast starts at eight o'clock." Lucca picked up a LuccaVision camera from the desk. "Reporters, grab a complete camera, tell me which camera number you have, go research your article, and be on location for the broadcast. You'll know that it's your time on the air when your camera beeps and the red record light here," Lucca pointed, "comes on. These new model cameras have built in battery packs, so they should all work without any trouble. Oh, when the record light turns green, you have ten seconds left on your slot, so wrap up your broadcast." To reinforce her statement, Lucca quickly demonstrated the use of the new cameras to the newscasters.

Crono, Robo, Ayla, Magus, and Frog filtered out of the studio, each taking a camera and reporting his or her camera number. Lucca sighed with happiness and gave into the temptation of a stress-relieving evil laugh. Tomorrow, LuccaVision would be big news.

Lucca frowned. She was suddenly certain that she'd forgotten something.

* * *

It was 7:45 pm. Lucca and Marle arrived at the LuccaVision studio to prepare for the broadcast. 

"You know, Ayla's so lucky," moaned Marle. "Me and my big mouth! I had to speak up! Now I'm anchored here!"

Lucca looked up from her last-minute adjustments on the transistorized LuccaVision amplifier. "Marle, the circus opened just today. It'll be open for a few more days at least. You aren't missing anything."

"Oh. Ha ha. Yeah. Right. My bad."

"Marle, I'll lead the news desk. Can you comment on the stories?"

"Sure."

Lucca returned to working on Magus's transistorized amplifier. Magus, Taban, and she had completed the amplifier only a few days before and while it performed beyond her wildest dreams in tests, it wasn't yet quite adjusted correctly. As a result, starting the amplifier required a bit of tender loving care and romancing to prevent malfunctions.

Lucca blinked and then slapped her forehead. "Marle, I forgot completely. We don't have a weatherman to predict tomorrow's weather."

"Sunny and bright! Beautiful blue skies with puffy clouds!" replied the princess. "Clouds that look like little teddy bears! Stuffed cottony fluffed animals!"

"You had too much coffee today, didn't you?"

"Yup! I was tired, so I had two triple chocolate mochas with six shots of espresso just before I came! Whee!"

The door to the studio opened. Lucca again looked up from her work.

Magus stormed into the studio carrying his LuccaVision camera. The warlock placed the camera none-too-gently on the workbench, folded his arms, and focused his one-eyed stare at the floor.

"Magus, why aren't you on location?" asked Lucca.

"I'll teleport in," said the wizard. "Lucca, this... assignment..." he trailed off. He took a deep breath and wrung his hands.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing!" he barked.

"Hey! Magus can be our weatherman!" said Marle.

Lucca 'hmmed.'

"You need a weatherman?" said Magus.

"We need a meteorologist, someone who can actually give us a prediction for tomorrow." said Lucca. "I only know a little bit about predicting the weather. Do you know anything about it?"

"Know something about it? Woman, Zeal was up in the clouds! Of course I can predict the weather."

"Good," said the inventor. "Could you do the weather report? Please?"

Magus nodded. "Very well."

"Fortunately, I did remember to set up a barometer and stuff over there," said Lucca. "I'll let you know when we're ready for you. Stupid transistorized amplifier! Tune up and work already!"

Magus walked over and checked the readouts on the cabinet for a moment before delivering a swift kick to it. The 'ON AIR' light came on.

"Cold solder joint," explained the wizard. "After the broadcast, we'll have to fix that." Magus walked over to the miniature weather station.

Lucca aimed the LuccaVision camera on the mounting pedestal and sat down at the news desk. Marle sat down beside her.

Countersunk into the surface of the desk were three buttons. Lucca pressed the first button, sending a test pattern over the airwaves.

Inside each of the five hundred new LuccaVision sets was a circuit that would alert people to when a LuccaVision broadcast was being received. All over Guardia, LuccaVision sets received the test pattern, played an alarm tone, and turned themselves on.

Lucca watched with satisfaction as the LuccaVision monitor set in front of the news desk beeped shrilly and turned on, displaying a test pattern.

Lucca pressed the second button, activating the LuccaVision camera. The test pattern on the monitor set disappeared, replaced with the image of the news studio. Lucca noted that the green screen behind her and Marle had been electronically replaced with an image of the skyline of Guardia Castle, as she had expected.

It was time to start the broadcast.

"Good evening, people of Guardia, and welcome to your one complete news source: your one news source guaranteed scientific and accurate, giving you the latest coverage of world events. Welcome to LNN, the eight o'clock LuccaVision News Network, with your hosts, Lucca Ashtear and Marle Guardia. I'm Lucca Ashtear."

"I'm Marle!"

"It is now eight o'clock, top of the hour. Before we get under way with the news, we'll start off with the weather. For the latest weather and for our forecast, I'll turn you over to our resident meteorologist, Magus. Magus?"

The wizard left the miniature weather station in the corner and entered the camera's field of view. "I am Magus, prince of Zeal and King of the Mystics. Currently, it is warm and pleasant, with scattered cumulus clouds in the skies giving plenty of shade. However, it is fall, so these conditions are temporary. There are high velocity wind patterns in the upper atmosphere and barometric pressure is falling. These sunny conditions will not last much longer. Within a short time, it will be overcast, followed by rain. Over the next few days, we can expect lowered temperatures, high winds, and more rain. In the long term outlook, due to the current unusual Indian summer conditions, severe thunderstorms appear likely sometime late next week, perhaps Thursday or Friday."

"I like sunny weather," said Marle.

"Many people do," agreed Lucca.

"I like sunny weather. Magus, go forecast some sunny weather. Why must it rain? Why?"

The warlock's eyes narrowed. "It's going to rain soon. That is what clouds do, Marle."

"But I like sunny weather," Marle wailed.

Lucca felt the urge to kill coming on.

Magus snapped his fingers.

The air in the studio started cooling. Lucca could hear water beginning to pitter-patter on the studio roof.

"Marle, it is raining. Deal with it," said the sorcerer. "Over to you, Lucca." He vanished, along with the LuccaVision camera he had brought in.

"I wanted sun."

"Yes, Marle, sun is good. Now, with the evening news. First up in our lineup for tonight: the birth of a new trend in fashion."

"A new trend in fashion," said Marle.

"Sources are unclear as to where this trend was first born, or even why it is so popular. Here at LNN, we investigate all news thoroughly, so we have Crono, one of our best reporters, out in the field."

"Out in the field reporting," said Marle.

Lucca pressed the third button on the desk. The third button was remotely wired to the mixer console, and instructed the console to switch from camera zero, the camera in the studio, to camera one, Crono's camera, in ten seconds.

"Our reporter Crono on LNN, your scientific and accurate news network."

"Scientific and accurate," echoed Marle.

The image on the LuccaVision monitor set in front of the news desk went dark for a moment, before switching to Crono.

Crono was wearing a gray trench coat. A fedora was perched atop his still-frizzy red hair. He was standing in front of a barbershop.

"Thank you, Lucca. I'm here in the Truce marketplace in front of Gonzo's Hair Trimmery and Barbershop." Crono shuddered. "Usually, this little shop of horrors is a place where people go to be parted from the innocent hair on their scalps. Those innocent little hairs, which end up upon the floor, refugees in an unkind and uncaring world. But today, this gulag for cast away hair has become a sanctuary: it's official, hair is in. But don't take my word for it," Crono hailed a teenager leaving the barbershop.

Lucca's eyes widened as the teenager approached Crono. The young man's hair was suspiciously... puffed.

"OhmyGod, is that... are you..." the teenager breathed, "C-c-c-crono?"

"Yes I am, and you, my friend, are on LuccaVision!"

"LuccaVision? AWESOME! Man, dis be da clean, ya dawg! But, I mean, me, mortal, meetin' da fierce king hisself!" the teenager reached out towards Crono's hair. "Is da hat real?"

"Da hat?"

"Well, lots wonderin' if it were a trick, but I thin' ya really got hit with lightning!"

"Huh?"

"Crono, awe the coo' dawgs dig da hair."

"There's reports of a new trend starting here. What is this trend? What is hip?"

The teenager gently patted his own puffy hair.

"We serve da king o' da hat, Crono. Yo king o' da hat, man! Da hair!"

"Latest LNN investigative reports show that I, Crono, am the originator of this trend, due to my hairstyle. I've never been quite so proud in all of my life."

"Awe da coo' dawgs are makin' a hat like yo."

"Tell me, what is this being called? Do you know where the name came from?"

Someone sneezed nearby as the teen spoke, obscuring his statement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for unknown reasons, my awesome hairstyle, sent from God through lighting, is being called an 'afro.'"

Lucca pressed the third button again. In ten seconds, the console would revert back to the studio camera.

"Wait! Lucca! He says I need gold chains and diamonds! He says they say that I'm the king of bling—"

"Thank you, Crono, for your report," said Lucca, as the studio reappeared on the monitor. "Modern fashions can be most interesting. However, equally fascinating are the fashions and trends of days gone by. Today, we have Frog at a recreation of a medieval festival and tourney."

"Festival and tourney," said Marle.

"Yes, Marle? What about the festival and tourney?"

Marle paled. "They are..." her eyes darted around the room, "medieval?"

"And?"

Marle broke into a cold sweat. "... Festive?"

Lucca pressed the camera switch button. "That they are, Marle. Over to you, Frog. What's the latest scoop over there?"

For several tense seconds, the LuccaVision monitor set was dark. Then, Frog appeared on the screen. Attired as was normal, the knight-turned-frog appeared most displeased as he began his report.

"Lady Lucca, I doth perceive that our original beliefs mayhap been in err. This imitation of a tourney and festival doth mock the holy-days of mine own era.

"In mine time, cakes and ale were offed gratis by thine host, and festivals were held for the sake of a king, a victory, a saint! Here, for weak brandy, thou canst expect to be, as thou may state, 'rippeth off' in manners most unholy! Perchance this doth seize thine attention." Frog held up a small Styrofoam cup. "This be what the vendors doth title a 'tankard' of ale: for forty gil, it be weak as water! It doth seem that this event is hosted by money, run by money, and indeed held in honor of money. And the tourney!"

Frog moved the camera, showing 'knights' in flimsy costumes in obviously fake battle. "This be a tourney? Observe: verily, it be a farce. There is no determination or danger: these be actors, poor players on a mocking stage!"

"Hey!" called a voice off camera. A moment later, a red faced man appeared on the monitor set beside Frog. "I'm the manager for this event. Are you..." the man took in the LuccaVision camera. "You're that Frog guy I saw on th—You're badmouthing my moneymaker! On LuccaVision!"

"It be a fraud! Thy tourney is a farce!"

"Well, no one actually wants to risk injury. Not like in primitive times when knights would fight each other like barbarians. Now, I don't want any—"

"Primitive! Verily thou dost insult mine honor!" Frog seized a broadsword from a nearby vendor's stall and placed the blade on the ground. "Thou hast repulsed mine sensibilities! Take unto thee this blade for the sake of thy honor, if thou hast any, craven nave, and fight in duel!"

The manager picked up the sword. Immediately the Masamune connected with his broadsword, shattering the cheaply made sword to pieces.

"Travesty," Frog breathed as the man called for security. The knight examined the shards of the blade. "An inferior blade of false mettle. He who wields such a trinket doth make a murderer of its maker!" In a rage the knight approached the stall he had taken the blade from. "Apprentice, I demand to speak to thy master and thy guild master! Direct me unto them!"

Lucca decided that she had seen enough and pressed the camera switch button. Frog continued to argue with the less-than-interested afro-sporting teenager running the stall about responsibility and honor until the studio reappeared on the monitor set.

Lucca swiftly attempted to put the situation in the best possible light. "As part of LNN's mission, we believe in fully exercising the right of the media to report without restriction, as stated in Guardia's Constitution. This provision, wisely protected by our government, allows for this hard hitting report.

"Frog is our expert on the medieval era. As you may note, the Medieval Revival Festival and Tourney appears to be simply an excuse to hawk cheap items and wares, with little realism and accuracy. Thank you, Frog, for your candid report."

Lucca mentally patted herself on the back for her expert save. She'd even put in the required good word for the government.

"I hope Frog doesn't go to jail for that," said Marle. "Our justice system is awful."

Lucca glared at Marle for a moment before continuing. "Our next item of note this evening: The circus has come to town!"

"WHHHHEEEEEE! CIR-CUS! CIR-CUS! CIR-CUS!" shouted Marle, pumping her fists into the air. The princess stood and did a little dance around the studio before sitting back down.

Lucca felt her fingers traveling down her hip, to the Wondershot nestled comfortably in its holster. She glared at Marle again before turning back to the camera. "But first: late breaking news! Caffeine, the drug found in items such a chocolate, tea, coffee, and most sodas: while commonly abused, excess caffeine has recently been shown to be potentially life threatening."

Marle gasped. "Really?"

Lucca nodded. In a grave voice, she continued. "Excessive caffeine, such as might be obtained from multiple designer coffees, can cause the body to exhibit a lack of control over various impulses, both emotional and physical. For reasons not well known outside of certain members of the scientific community, excessive display of such symptoms can lead to a dramatic and sudden shortening of one's lifespan."

"Really?"

"I'm afraid so."

Marle appeared sufficiently cowed.

Lucca eased her itchy trigger-finger away from the Wondershot. "And now, back to the circus. The Bailum and Barney circus, the world's most famous six ring circus, has come to town. If their previous visits are any indication, we should all be prepared to be entertained and amazed, with everything from simple curiosities to trapeze artists flying through the air. We have Ayla investigating." Lucca pressed the camera switch button. "Ayla, what's going on?"

Ayla's face appeared on the monitor set. She was curiously examining her LuccaVision camera. In the background was one of the circus's rings under the Big Top. "Purple hair say when little sun red and," Ayla blinked. She smiled and stepped back from the camera. "Circus fun!"

Behind Ayla, several people passed, dressed in furs. The cavewoman noticed. "People dress like Ayla!"

A man passed. He took in the sight of Ayla for a moment. "Oh, wow. They've got some pretty performers this year," he said. The man approached. "Listen, I've got a phone call for you: God's on the line, says heaven's missing an angel."

"Huh?"

"After the show, could I get you a drink?"

"What you say? You talk strange, and bam bam on the head!" said Ayla.

"Oooh K," said the man. "Excuse me."

As he left, Ayla commented. "Many weird people here."

"The circus is missing one of the tight rope walkers," said a voice over the camera.

"Missing?" asked Ayla.

Another person came into the camera's field of view. "Yeah. The ringmaster says the lead female should be up there," he pointed. Ayla rotated the camera to view the tight rope. On either side of the wire was a platform. On one platform were the fur-clad people Ayla had filmed earlier.

"Hey! I bet you need to be up there," said the man. "They're dressed like you."

Lucca watched the image on the monitor LuccaVision set with a sick feeling as Ayla abandoned her post at the camera. Moments later, the cavewoman joined the people on the platform. Lucca pressed the camera switch button as Ayla began to walk the tight rope.

The studio reappeared on the monitor set. "Thank you, Ayla. As you can see, ladies and gentlemen," Lucca searched her mind for an excuse. A drop of sweat landed on the inside of the left lens of her glasses. "Um... our reporters do all they can to get the scoop, even going underground and personally experiencing their research topics. Yes! It's very effective at giving you, the viewer, a fair and scientific overview of a news topic."

"But I don't think Ayla knows how to tight rope walk," said Marle.

"Well, there's no better way to learn than on the job," said Lucca. She pressed the camera switch button. "Continuing with our next topic: the Guardia Regional Science Fair. Robo, tell us, how's things going?"

The image of the studio on the monitor set was replaced with the image of Robo in a large auditorium.

"Madam Lucca, the Science Fair is going well. Doctor Ernst von Heinrich, respected as one of the world's greatest scientists, started the fair several hours ago with a speech regarding the importance of taking science seriously. An outspoken opponent of LuccaVision, von Heinrich used the opening speech as an opportunity to spout propaganda regarding LuccaVision, calling it 'a toy for the mindless.' Considering that LuccaVision can communicate information with unparalleled efficiency, von Heinrich is disregarding many potential uses of the technology. Since the speech, many projects have been demonstrated, some on the extreme cutting edge of technology. All have shown utmost dedication, care, and ingenuity. All prizes but the grand prize have been awarded. Now, we focus on the winner of the fair, who will now be chosen."

Robo focused the camera at a stage. On the stage were several tables, a panel of judges, and a podium, upon which stood Doctor Ernst von Heinrich. Upon each table was one of the prize-winning science fair entries. Over the table closest to the podium was a crimson cloth, obscuring the grand prize-winning entry.

Von Heinrich spoke. "As we have all noted, this fair has conclusively demonstrated the talent of tomorrow's generation of scientists. All of these projects have been most impressive, and give great hope to the people of today of the promise of tomorrow. However, there can be only one first place winner. Ladies and gentlemen, I now unveil our winning entry, th—," von Heinrich pulled away the cloth covering the winning project and froze.

One of the judges barely suppressed a rude chuckle.

Robo zoomed in.

Lucca's mouth dropped open as her eyes widened. Upon the table was a tube, one end of which showed a black and white image of the winning science fair entry and a stunned Doctor von Heinrich. The tube was connected to an obviously homemade detection circuit and receiver circuit. Handmade coils and wires made up the antenna. Lucca looked at the placard on the table, announcing the science fair project as a 'LuccaVision Video Receiver, by Kennedy Whitman.'

Lucca was speechless and aghast. Such a project couldn't possibly be constructed without detailed knowledge as to how a LuccaVision worked, knowledge only a few people had. Lucca quickly reviewed the possibilities. Only Magus, Taban, and herself had such detailed knowledge into the workings of LuccaVision. Out of those three people, only one person could have revealed the information to Whitman. The teenage inventor began making internal plans to kill Taban for such an egregious information leak.

Doctor von Heinrich made a gurgling sound. Finally, he sighed. "And our winning entry, the LuccaVision Video Receiver, built and designed by Kennedy Whitman."

Kennedy walked over to the stage and shook the Doctor's hand.

The doctor asked, "Kennedy, how did you build this? As far as I know, only Lucca Ashtear has the knowledge to build such a device, and Ms. Ashtear has not yet published any information regarding the operation of a LuccaVision. And you are aware that current LuccaVision technology supports color video and audio, right?"

"Well, I've always been inspired by Lucca's work, with her accomplishing so much despite being only a few years older than me. She's like my role model. When I first heard of LuccaVision, I had to have one. Unfortunately, they're all handmade and until recently far too expensive. When I heard about the science fair, I thought I'd try to build one. I tried to contact Ms. Ashtear, but all I got was someone named Lara who said Lucca was very busy. Lara did let me talk to someone else though. She said that he knew a bit about it.

The boy chuckled. "The man tried to put me off at first, saying it was very complex and that it would boggle and destroy my 'weak and easily manipulated' brain. Finally, I mentioned that you'd be there. That's when he finally told me what I needed to know."

Von Heinrich's eyes narrowed. "So you got help?"

"He only told me what frequency the luminance information for LuccaVision could be found and the number of scanlines the screen has. I had to figure everything else out through reverse engineering. That's why this model LuccaVision receiver is only in black and white. The man said I'd have to know the frequencies for the chroma and colorburst information for color, and the audio frequency for sound, but he wouldn't tell me what they were."

"Interesting. So, who gave you the information?"

"His name? He called himself Magus. It was weird. He was really nasty and rude until I mentioned you. I guess he must be a fan of yours."

"So this Magus, is he a codeveloper of LuccaVision?"

"He just mentioned something about working on a 'transistorized amplificator' thingie."

"Well, Kennedy, for successfully replicating a black and white... LuccaVision, I hereby award you the grand prize of the Guardia Regional Science Fair. Congratulations."

"Thank you, Doctor. Magus, Lucca, thank you for everything."

Lucca pressed the camera switch button. A small, satisfied smile was on her lips. "I've got... fans... real live fans... just like the great ones. Imagine that: he was... _inspired_ by _me_."

"Magus helped someone?" Marle murmured.

Lucca's visions of being numbered amongst the great scientists of history vanished as this impossible fact reasserted itself. She shook her head. The notion of Magus helping someone! The greatest mage in history harboring a secret admiration of the esteemed Doctor Ernst von Heinrich! Such ideas seemed as likely as Magus and Frog having a peaceful conversation and agreeing to put aside their past differences. Then again, the idea of Magus being a reporter seemed almost as impossible. Lucca suddenly realized that, knowing Magus, he somehow was benefiting from the selective leaking of LuccaVision design secrets. Whatever was going on, she'd figure out a way to find out, Lucca reassured herself.

"Maybe Magus isn't feeling well," suggested Marle. "Didn't he act all weird earlier?"

Lucca agreed. "He was a bit on edge before he did the weather report."

The studio reappeared on the monitor set.

"Thank you, Robo, for your report. This is LNN, the LuccaVision News Network, with your hosts, Lucca Ashtear and Marle Guardia. I'm Lucca Ashtear."

"And I'm Marle."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we wrap up tonight's broadcast with information on the newest business in the Truce marketplace. Intrepid reporter Magus is on scene. Magus, give us the scoop, please."

Lucca pressed the camera switch button. The LuccaVision monitor set went dark.

"Maybe we'll find out what's up, Marle. You're right, though. He did seem—"

Magus appeared on the screen. The dark wizard's pointed ears were drooping like wilted plants. His eyes were downcast and devoid of their usual fierce pride; his regal visage was drawn and gaunt; his head hung like a child shamed. He winced as his long blue hair seemed to move of its own accord.

Lucca's eyes widened as she blinked in surprise. Behind the egoistical sorcerer was a rainbow and several smiling puffy white clouds. Dozens of small children were playing around the wizard's feet. Several were trying to climb his legs. A few of the more suicidal were pulling the sorcerer's hair.

Lucca felt her heart go out to the wizard. Magus was thoroughly miserable.

Magus spoke, his voice seeming to rise from below in sepulchral tones, as if ineffectually grasping for shreds of power and pride. "I am Magus, Prince of Zeal and King of the Mystics. I am reporting from the Truce marketplace on the latest business to open in this growing city. This is the Happy Friends Children's Daycare Center, offering affordable and convenient child care to the citizens of Guardia."

An unusually short and round woman appeared next to the dark wizard and bumped into him.

"This is Ms. Toddsley, owner and operator of the center. Ms. Toddsley, what made you decide to start offering daycare services?"

"Well, I love children. I don't have any myself, so I thought I'd open up a daycare center." Ms. Toddsley winked at the sorcerer. "Don't you just love kids?"

Magus did a remarkably successful job at maintaining his composure, despite dozens of little hands poking and prodding him. His ears drooped more as he stated in a passably candid tone, "Of course I do."

The wizard's eyes widened as one of the toddlers babbled something incomprehensible loudly and then started kicking his shins.

"They're sooooo innocent and sooooo adooorraawooorable! Here," Ms. Toddsley picked up the offending youngster and held him out to Magus. "I tink he wikes you."

"Really?" the dark wizard stated as he took the boy and held him gingerly.

Ms. Toddsley's voice lowered in tone slightly. "Mmmmhmmm. He could have your eyes, you know." She took a step towards the wizard. "Whew! Is it just me, or is it getting a little hot in here?"

The sorcerer glanced, surprised, out of the corners of his eyes as Toddsley leaned against him.

Marle glanced at Lucca. The inventor's face was red. Her eyes seemed to bore holes into the LuccaVision monitor set. "Lucca, you're shaking."

"Marle?" Lucca growled.

"Yeah?"

"Shut u—Wait. What the?" Lucca blinked.

The wizard's shirt was darkening in hue.

"He is peeing on me," Magus deadpanned.

"Is he?" said Toddsley dreamily. "Wait! He peed on you?"

Magus put the little boy down. Promptly, the child resumed kicking the egoistical warlock's shins and screaming. The dark wizard said in his most dangerously calm tone, "Yes."

"Here, take off your shirt. Take off your shirt and we'll get you all cleaned u—"

Magus was trembling with suppressed fury. His fists were clenched tightly. "I am now leaving. Have a good day. Over to _you_, _Lucca_. "

Even as Lucca pressed the camera switch button, Magus began packing up his LuccaVision camera. Hordes of children swirled round, clawing at him like imps from the pits of Hell. In the background, Ms. Toddsley insisted that the wizard take his shirt off and stay longer.

The wizard tripped and vanished beneath a seething mass of toddlers. 

The studio reappeared back on the LuccaVision monitor set.

Lucca took a deep breath to calm herself. She could not understand why she felt so utterly enraged and threatened. In a split second, she realized the answer: once again, fate had ruined her attempt to make a decent broadcast. With the sole exception of Robo, this attempt had been rife with error. Yes, that was definitely the reason.

She scrutinized her fellow anchor. Marle's face was a deep crimson hue as she held her breath to wisely contain her laughter.

"Reporter Magus, reporting from the Happy Friends Children's Daycare Center, interviewing Ms. Toddsley, proprietor and operator of the center. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning into LNN, the LuccaVision News Network. Have a good evening."

"And go to the circus first thing tomorrow!" said Marle.

Lucca pressed the first button on her desk, instructing the LuccaVision amplifier to turn off. As the image of the studio disappeared on the monitor set, Lucca leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes.

The teenage inventor's fury had returned, but at the same time, she felt sympathy lurking at the back of her mind. For a moment, she pondered the historic magnitude of the apology she owed Magus for unintentionally inflicting a day care center and Ms. Toddsley upon him before remembering that if her fury was over her current inability to produce a successful broadcast, logically her sympathy must be self-pity. What could she do to make a broadcast a success? Just one success might forever establish the scientific credibility of LuccaVision, while another failure might forever destroy it. She needed something foolproof. An idea sprung into the inventor's mind.

"A documentary it is!" said Lucca suddenly.

"A documentary?"

"Our next broadcast, Marle. We'll do a historical documentary."

"But what about the circus?"

"You can still see it. You've got time. This time, I'm not going to rush the broadcast. We'll take our time. We're going to perfect it before we send it over the air."

"We tried that with _Shades of Flame_," said Marle. "There were some issues."

"Not this time, Marle. This time, we will accept nothing but perfection!"

"I don't thin—"

"Marle, in a documentary, everything is written down on paper. Someone simply reads that as a narrator. We throw in an interview or two. In fact, since we're doing a historical documentary, we already have access to people we can interview. That's it! 600 A.D.: What Really Happened! We don't even need to make stuff up. Done. Foolproof! See?"

Marle sighed. She curled her knees up to her chest and hugged her arms around her legs, rocking in her chair. "Well, I guess it does sound hard to mess up. But documentaries are so boring!"

"And that's precisely why nothing can go wrong. The worst thing that can happen is that someone stumbles while speaking."

"I guess. Whoa!" Marle struggled for balance as her fidgeting almost tilted her chair over.

"Stop fidgeting, Marle."

Marle turned to Lucca with wide, frightened eyes. "I can't help it, Lucca! I had too much coffee! I'm trying to hold in the caffeine, but it's too much, so hard! I feel like I'm going to explode! Am I going to die?"

"Um, that was a joke earlier, Marle."

"Oh. That was a joke earlier. Ok... A JOKE!" Marle sprang up from her seat. "YOU DISSED MY COFFEE!"

"Marle, forget the coffee," Lucca stood. "When everyone gets back, victory shall finally be in sight! Garharharhar!"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DISSED MY CAFFEINE!"

And as Guardia's first newscast came to an end, a new horror dawned upon the horizon...

* * *

Holy batgraves! Is the world ready for Lucca's latest? Just what is going on with our favorite good evil wizard? Have Taban and Lara finally given up their sinister designs? Why is success eluding Lucca? Will Crono ever get a chance to blow his fortune in Truce's new casino? And does the approaching cold of late fall hold any surprises for the Chrono Trigger crew? Find out in the future! Muahahaha! So leave a review, lest this author's meager writing skills atrophy, and tune in again, same LuccaVision time, same LuccaVision channel, to _The Masadoom and Company_!  



	7. The Mystic Wars: What Really Happened!

The Mystic Wars: What Really Happened!

© 2006 by hyperdrive

* * *

Nope, I'm not dead yet! Just very preoccupied with the rigors of freshman college life. Actually, I've been sitting on this episode for some time, but until today, I never really got a moment where I could edit it, upload it, re-redit it, continuity check it, and then finally publish it. Hopefully, the next episode should follow before too long (and I mean that, come hell or high water!) So, anyway, I hope you enjoy this latest episode of the Masadoom and Company. No wizards, inventors, knights, princessess, cavewomen, or robots were harmed in the production of this episode. As you all know, I do not own the characters from Chrono Trigger. Any similarities between the characters and and real people living or dead are not necessarily purely coincidental. 

Thank you for your reviews, readers. Your support is greatly appreciated!

Now, enjoy!

* * *

Taban stood up from Lucca's bed and turned off the LuccaVision set on his daughter's workbench. For a moment, he struggled to stop his shoulders from shaking before saying, "Poor Magus. Did you se—" he made choking noises as he continued to restrain his laughter. 

Lara shook her head. "You know, I almost believed you for a moment there."

"No, really," protested Taban as he continued to struggle with his laughter. The elder inventor sat down besides his wife on the couch again. "And this is coming from the one who was laughing so hard she couldn't turn off the LuccaVision."

Lara frowned. "Taban, we are laughing at our daughter's broadcast. She and her friends put their hearts and souls into it. I mean, is it wrong to enjoy it like... well..."

"In such devious and perverse ways?"

"That is _not _what I was going to say," protested Lara.

"Ah ha. It's like a fart: 'She who smelt it dealt it.' Who's the one who started acting guilty first?"

"Ok, you got me," Lara admitted. "But I mean, really? Is it right for us to do what we're doing?"

"Why's it wrong in the first place? It's our own opinion. And opinions are like people's bottoms. Everyone's got one and they all—"

"Yes, I know," Lara said, a bit annoyed. "Taban, you're supposed to be a devoted, logical scientist. And you know how I feel about scatological humor."

"Lara, stop being a party pooper."

Lara gave her husband a wilting glare.

"Ok, I'll stop now."

"You'd better."

For a moment, they both sat in silence.

Taban shook his head. "Lara, it's not working."

Lara feigned innocence. "What's not working?"

"Lara, Magus and Lucca are not interacting."

"I know," Lara replied. "I thought for sure the Florence Nightingale effect would do it."

"It usually never fails," said Taban. The elder inventor left the room for a moment, returning with a well-worn book, titled _Applying Psychology for Fun and for Profit_, and opened it to a dogeared page. The margins of the page were littered with notes, and the paragraphs were well-highlighted.

"As you can see, the Florence Nightingale effect almost always works because it is an appeal to the female's motherly instincts," said Taban. "All women have them. Even Lucca."

Lara nodded. "It was starting to work. But then Magus had to heal himself, so all that work went right out the window."

Taban frowned. "The only way to get those two to successfully mate is to get them to interact! Lara, I'm afraid I'm drawing blank. We're going to have to fix Magus's bed this evening, so that source of interaction is out. Lucca's not going to have to nurse him back to health, so there goes that."

"Maybe we could get them to go on a vacation," suggested Lara. "Just the two of them."

"Lara, neither Lucca or Magus would go along with that. It's too obvious."

"Well... Magus is a dark wizard. Maybe if you asked politely, he'd tell you how to make a love potion or something."

"Wouldn't he want to know why I needed one?"

"I don't know, Taban."

For a long moment, uncomfortable silence fell over the room.

Lara bowed her head. "Maybe we should just give up."

"No, no, NO! We won't give up," Taban said resolutely. "The pitter-patter of little feet, remember? Grandkids to spoil? You're just going to give that up?"

"What else can we do? Science is failing us."

"Science never fails," Taban's eyes narrowed. "That's it! We're not being scientific enough!"

"Huh?"

"In any good experiment, one must control the variables. Up till now, we've tried to be subtle. Because of that, we couldn't be very direct, and there were many unaccounted variables. After all, if Lucca or Magus found out, the gig'd be up, so we couldn't be blunt and forceful. It's time to be more drastic!"

"How?"

Taban chuckled. "We control the variables. We watch for opportunities to make them interact and force them. We plant ideas. We make them stay close to each other. We arrange 'accidental' encounters. And of course, we drop lots of hints."

"You don't think they'll catch on?"

"Not if we're vague about it. As long as there's always another way to interpret what we do, they won't suspect a thing."

Lara's eyes brightened as she started to chuckle.

Taban began to laugh.

The world cowered as the most evil parents in the universe began to put their sinister designs into effect.

* * *

Magus was the first to return from assignment. In a burst of sound and light, the wizard materialized in the center of the studio. He looked around, his good eye glowering down upon the world as he searched for a seat. Lucca tensed as she realized Marle and she were occupying all available seats. The inventor was just about ready to surrender her seat when Magus, evidently too exhausted and annoyed to start a fight, dropped his camera on the workbench, leaned against a wall, closed his eye, and folded his arms. The blue studio carpet beneath the wizard darkened as his shirt dripped. 

Marle recognized a potentially life-threatening situation when she saw one. She wisely stopped pestering Lucca about caffeine and closed her mouth.

Just looking at Magus made Lucca's earlier pity return with a vengeance. Try as she might, the inventor could no longer ignore the sorcerer's misery. She stood and walked up to him. "Magus, I... I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Magus glanced at Lucca. "It's nothing, wench," he growled.

"But..."

"But nothing. I accepted your assignment. I agreed to do it. I investigated and knew what I was getting into. And I did it. It was the most degrading experience in all my life. It left me scarred and forever affirmed my utter hatred of small children. I wish to hear nothing else. Of. It. Ever! AGAIN!"

"Well, it really meant a lot to me that you still went through with it, Magus," said Lucca.

Magus was silent.

A moment later, Robo entered the studio. "Madam Lucca, I have returned from the Science Fair."

"Good," replied Lucca. "We're just waiting on the others now."

A moment later, Crono entered the studio. Around the teenage swordsman orbited an entourage of afro-sporting teenagers. Two giggling girls were latched onto each of his arms, preoccupied with caressing the teenage swordsman's puffed hair.

Marle stood from her seat and glared at Crono.

The red-haired swordsman grinned. "Hey, dawg. Tis be me homies, yo," said Crono to the princess. "Mon. Marle, thar b' 'nough o' da king ta go round! Wooo!"

Marle balled her fists.

Crono's ear to ear grin disappeared. "'Mon Marle, they be ma' fans. Now dontcha b' hatin'."

Marle's anger remained unmollified.

Crono's eyes darted about. "Heh heh he, um, guys, I think the party's over."

The mindless groupies continued adoring their leader.

"Guys, I mean it," said Crono. He glanced at Marle. "Please?"

"OUT!" roared Marle. The princess stormed up to Crono and grabbed him out of the crowd. She dragged him from the studio.

Deprived of their brain, the groupies disappointedly dispersed.

"Madam Lucca, what was that about?" Robo asked.

"I don't know."

Lucca heard some shouting outside. Unable to resist, she listened in.

"Marle, honest! You know I only have eyes for you!"

"Then why were those girls there?"

"Well, Marle, I am _the king_."

The sound of a smack was very audible.

Magus chuckled. Lucca frowned at the wizard.

A moment later, Marle and Crono returned to the studio.

Crono sported a stylish hand print on his face. "I'm sorry, Marle. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Marle was sniffling.

"Guys, I'm going to take Marle back to the castle," said Crono.

"Alright," Lucca replied. "Think we could meet here tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, sure," said Crono. He left with Marle.

A few moments later, there was a knocking at the door to the studio. Lucca opened the door.

Standing at the doorway was an all-too-familiar guard, dressed in assault trooper garb. His machine gun was nowhere to be seen. He looked decidedly crestfallen.

"Great. You again. What did we do now?" Lucca groaned.

"Out of the way, dastardly nave," said Frog from behind the guard. The guard stepped aside, allowing the knight to pass. As Frog passed, he turned to the teenage inventor. "Lucca, canst thou believe this craven fool didst attempt to lock me up?"

"Yeah. Um. I'm sorry about that," said the guard in a not-sorry-at-all voice. "Listen, Lucca, keep out of trouble with your broadcasts, OK? When I booked Froggie for disturbing the peace at the fair, the Chancellor almost had my head. He doesn't want you guys giving him any more headaches."

"Oh, you'll have no problems from us," Lucca grinned. "Although we might have accidents every now and then. So keep today in mind, OK?" She closed the door.

Frog asked, "so, Lady Lucca, how went thy broadcast?"

"It had issues," Lucca replied.

"Bosh and bother."

"Yes. We're waiting for Ayla right now."

Several minutes passed.

"She should be here any minute."

Fifteen minutes passed.

"The circus isn't that far," said Lucca. "She'll be here in a few moments."

More minutes went by.

"Lucca, I want to change my shirt this century," Magus growled. He tried unsuccessfully to wring fluid out of his shirt.

"You don't think she's hurt, do you?" said Lucca.

"Why do you say that, Lucca?" Robo asked.

"Nothing. I guess I'll swing by the circus later and see what she's up to. So, this meeting is now in session!"

"Meeting?" said Frog.

"Of course. Now's the best time to plan our next broadcast. And don't worry, guys! This time, it really is foolproof!"

"Oh boy," Magus muttered.

Lucca continued. "We are doing a historical documentary on 600 A.D.. There's really nothing to mess up. All we have to do is just have someone read a report on the air."

"Madam Lucca, while my grasp of human emotions remains somewhat uncertain, wouldn't that be... boring?"

"Normally it would be, Robo. But we just so happen to have two qualified people from 600 A.D. to interview."

"Two qualified people, Lucca?" asked Magus. "We've only got one."

"Art thou a dope as well as a dastard fool? The Lady doth refer to me and thee, thou honorless serpent."

Magus rolled his eyes. "Lucca, we will speak about this later," said the wizard sternly.

"Prithee, foul sorcerer, art thou saying I'm not qualified to speak on mine own time?" Frog said, reaching for the Masamune.

Magus made 'bring it on,' motions with his hands.

Lucca groaned. "Stop it!"

"Yes, listen to the lady, Froggie," said Magus.

Frog drew the Masamune.

The Doomsickle appeared in Magus's hands.

"Stop it this instant! Aren't either of you mature enough to go a moment without fighting?"

Frog sheepishly sheathed the Masamune.

The Doomsickle vanished. Magus shook his head. "Just defending myself, Lucca."

The teenage inventor ignored the wizard. "We'll meet tomorrow morning to finalize the broadcast. You've got a place to stay, right Frog? Magus and Robo are staying with me."

"Lady Marle hath furnished quarters for me at the castle," said Frog.

"OK, any questions?"

There were no questions. The group dispersed.

* * *

Marle and Crono sat on the blonde princess's plush four-poster bed at Guardia Castle. Marle was crying as Crono attempted to soothe her. 

"Marle, I'm really sorry. I know it's been a long time since we've been on a date or anything, but believe me, I still love you," said Crono. "We've just been so busy lately."

"Crono, we haven't done anything with each other since before the Masadoom broadcast," Marle sniffed, "and then I saw you today with those girls. It really hurt me, Crono."

"Believe me, I didn't mean it," said the teenage swordsman. "I kinda got caught up in the whole king thing."

"I know you didn't. I believe you. It just really hurt. It brought it all home to me how we've been drifting apart since Lavos."

"That's not true. We're together now. We're always together."

"No we aren't."

"Yes we are, Marle. We're like two peas in a pod. Two of a kind. Lovers made for each other. Conjoined twins."

"Ughh. That's sick," Marle protested. "Besides, I feel like we've been taking each other for granted."

"I don't take you for granted. We do everything together."

"It's like there's no more magic left."

"Don't say that!"

"No magic... just like an empty triple chocolate double espresso mocha."

"What?"

"I could really go for one of those right now."

"Excuse me, milady," an attendant entered the room. "I wish to inform you that Sir Frog has arrived at the castle to stay the evening."

"Ok," said Marle.

"Are you well, milady?"

Marle sniffed and nodded. The attendant left.

"Marle, you know I'm here for you, and I know you're there for me. I trust you, and you trust me. We love each other, see?"

Marle sniffled and then nodded.

"In fact, I'm going to take you out," said Crono.

Marle immediately perked up. "Really?"

"Sure. It'll be a date. We can go to that new restaurant in Truce, the Lucky Thirteen."

"Isn't that at the new casino downtown?"

Crono blinked. "Yeah, I guess it is. Well, we're just going to eat, right? It'll be no problem. I guess I'll pick you up..."

"Lucca wants us to meet in the morning. Let's get lunch after the meeting."

"Ok," said Crono.

* * *

Lucca, Magus, and Ayla had finally arrived back at the Ashtear residence from the circus. 

"I still can't believe it," said Lucca. "They almost wouldn't let her go. Ayla, star circus performer. Queen of the Highwire."

"Ayla scared," said the cave woman. "But Ayla not beat! Ayla watch others, learn, do, and Ayla lead!"

"It's not too surprising, Lucca," said Magus. "Ayla's got her instincts."

The group entered the living room. Ayla sprinted up the stairs to Lucca's room. The inventor turned to follow.

"Lucca, I said I would speak to you earlier, didn't I?"

Lucca winced. Magus's tone carried a subtle, but definite edge. "Yes, Magus, you did say that. I was kinda hoping you'd forgotten."

The warlock prince glanced around the living room. Of the two corner chairs, the couch, and the love seat, only the love seat was unoccupied. A large box was on the couch, upon the chair in one corner was a pot of a black fluid, and the chair in the other corner was taken by a large flask of green liquid.

The wizard began to move the box from the couch.

Taban appeared in the doorway. "Whoa! That's very dangerous! Put the box down."

Magus complied and turned to the chair with the black fluid.

"Highly toxic! Hands off!"

Magus frowned and turned to the other chair.

"Very unstable! Explosive!"

Magus sighed and sat down on the only available spot, the love seat. He shifted, adjusting the position of the slightly tight teeshirt Taban had lent him while his soiled shirt was being washed.

"Lucca, me and Lara are going into town. You guys have fun while we're out," Taban left the room. Lara followed behind him a moment later.

Lucca sat beside Magus and turned her attention to the wizard. "Magus, before you say anything, I'm sorry about Toddsley and that kid peeing on you."

"As you should be. However, I wished to speak to you about this documentary."

"Oh." Lucca suddenly realized that she had subconsciously hung her head.

Magus had apparently noticed her change in posture. "Lucca, I don't think you intentionally assigned me there, right?"

"I should have at least read the news article before assigning you."

"And next time I'm sure you will. Now, let me pretend it never happened. So, if this documentary is to happen, some rules must be laid down."

"Rules?"

"Of course," said Magus. "We want this to be foolproof, right?"

"Um, duh?" replied Lucca.

Magus glared at the inventor. "I mean, Lucca, we need to have defined roles for this broadcast to work. Me and Froggie will be interviewed, of course. I will unabashedly correct his skewing. He will skew. So we have the 'interviewees' down."

"Magus, promise me that you aren't going to provoke Frog."

Magus 'hmmed' noncommittally.

Lucca rolled her eyes. "So what else is there?"

"We can't just read a report on the air. The person who does the broadcast should have their eyes on the camera, not a piece of paper, right?"

"I see where you're going," Lucca nodded. "We need to assign the research to someone who will learn about the topic and then report on-air."

"Precisely."

"I guess that's it," said Lucca. "Everyone else will just be in their normal roles. I guess we get Robo and maybe Ayla to handle the equipment while I run the camera. Now, Magus, you won't provoke Frog, right?"

Magus crossed his arms. "No promises. His ego needs my managing when he gets uppity," Magus's voice dropped to an angry mutter. "Dope and dastard fool indeed."

Lucca gave Magus the patented Lucca Ashtear Death Glare.

The wizard didn't even flinch.

The inventor frowned. Suddenly, in a flash of mental brilliance, an idea! Lucca chuckled.

Magus raised an eyebrow.

"So, you're not very big, eh, Magus?"

The warlock blinked. "What!"

"You're not very big at all, are you, O great Magus? Since Frog so threatens you, I'd bet you're pretty small."

Magus swallowed. His eyes widened. "Small? I'm hug... that's none of your... Lucca... are you feeling...?"

"That's right," Lucca grinned like the Cheshire cat as she shifted on the love seat to face the wizard, drawing herself to her knees to lean over the startled sorcerer. "I'd bet you're so small that even I'm like a giant to you. Frog's probably the same, so you can't stand it."

Magus was speechless. His mouth was wide open in shock.

"I bet you think that it's not possible for a girl to be bigger than you. Well, it is. That's why you're cowering into your cushion right now. So, are you going to provoke Frog this time, you tiny little man? Or can't you even measure up to that?"

Magus's eyes were darting around wildly, as if searching for a way to escape. Lucca put her hands on his shoulders and leaned against the mage, pressing him into the seat, trapping him. She chuckled.

Magus, for the first time in as long as he could remember, was panicked. Lucca had evidently gone stir-crazy. "Measure up? T-t-tiny? You b-b-bigger than me?"

"Are you going to provoke Frog?" Lucca's hands slipped from Magus's shoulders to his chest, then to holding down his arms. She pulled her legs over his, holding the wizard down.

Magus finally tried to struggle. Unfortunately, he could not get any mechanical advantage in his current position. He froze. He gasped. He was, for the first time in his life, truly at someone's mercy. The situation had spiraled far out of his control. Lucca had him pinned and she obviously knew it. The inventor had all the advantages. He had been defeated.

Lucca smirked as she said, "You won't provoke Frog during the broadcast, will you, tiny?"

"No," Magus sputtered. "No, I won't!"

"Ah ha," said Lucca. She closed the already small gap between her and the wizard's face. "Now, was that really so hard? Keep it up and you might actually start to measure up."

Magus had regained his self-control from his moment of panic. He assessed his situation. Lucca was completely atop him, holding him down. Her legs were straddling his waist and her face was just inches from his. With the exception of her head, she was lying completely atop him. She was chuckling as she smirked.

Magus was starting to feel hot and strangely... anticipatory. "Um, for your information, Lucca, I'm not small by any measure. I'm very comfortable with my size. It's above average."

"Pah. Prove it!"

Magus swallowed. Lucca had moved her face even closer to his. For the first time, he had become aware of exactly how close she was to him. Almost subconsciously, he began moving closer to her.

Lucca responded in the same way. She licked her lips as she pulled him closer. Their noses touched.

Suddenly, Lucca blinked. She released the wizard and sat up, panting. "Heh, um... I'm sorry... er... I... I don't know what came over me."

Magus sat up and shook his head. "Yeah. Heh. Um, still need me to prove it?"

"Prove what? Oh, that you're a big man? Well, I'll believe that when your character reflects it."

Magus raised his eyebrows. "You were talking about my character?"

"Of course. What else would I have been talking about?"

The egoistical wizard crossed his arms. "We will speak no more about this!"

"Wait a moment. You didn't think that I was... talking about..." Lucca started to blush.

Magus was, for once, without comment as he stared at the floor.

Outside the house, watching through the living room window, Taban and Lara shared a sinister laugh as they high-fived each other.

"It's only a matter of time," said Lara.

* * *

Lucca grinned as she looked around the studio from the anchor's chair behind the desk used in the last broadcast. Everyone had arrived for the meeting. Crono and Marle had evidently settled their differences, and were talking with Robo in the corner. Magus was glaring at Frog from across the room. Frog had taken the anchor's chair beside her. Ayla was on a stool next to the mixer console. 

"Good morning, everyone," said Lucca. "It's time to plan our next broadcast."

"Lucca, Robo mentioned that we're doing a documentary this time," said Crono.

"That's right."

"So may I be excused?"

"What?"

"You and I shared enough classes together for you to know that documentaries put me to sleep," said Crono hopefully.

Lucca stared at Crono.

"So I'll probably sleep through this whole thing," Crono continued.

Lucca continued to stare.

Crono chuckled nervously as his optimism faltered. "And if I'm sleeping, I can't help. I'll just hinder the thing."

Lucca's stare was unabated.

"So I guess you'll let me sit this one out," said Crono.

Lucca frowned.

"I guess I'll... you know, this is going to be fun," Crono said, as his final hope of escape was dashed. He hung his head and heaved a sigh.

"Now that Crono has opened this meeting on such a positive note," said Lucca, "let's get directly to business. We are going to do a documentary on the Mystic Wars. Basically, we'll have someone research the topic, and that someone will tell us about the Wars. Then, once the audience has a good grasp of the background, we can have that person interview Frog and Magus."

"Your organization seems logical, madam Lucca," said Robo.

"Thank you," Lucca grinned.

Ayla shook her head. "But blue hair doesn't seem to like Froggie very much."

"See? I'm not the only one, _Froggie_," Magus chuckled. "Why don't you like the sound of it?"

Lucca rolled her eyes as Frog began to stand up. "Magus, stop causing trouble."

The egoistical warlock prince "hmmphed!" and crossed his arms. "Ayla started it."

Lucca ignored the wizard.

"So we need a volunteer for the research?"

"Yes, Marle. We can't just read a long report on camera, or we'll put people to sleep. We need something, oh," the teenage inventor stood up from her seat and paced for a moment, "new! Invigorating! Eye-opening! Life-changing! The people must hear something new about the Mystic Wars, not just something they've read out of a history book."

"You mean like as if we had access to the Royal Archives," said Crono.

"Precisely," said Lucca.

"I know who'll volunteer," said Marle. "She has just the different perspective we all need!"

Lucca's eyes brightened. "Who?"

"Ayla, of course!"

Ayla stood up. "Bring on ree—port!"

Lucca blinked. "Ummm..."

Crono whispered something in Marle's ear.

"Oh, you think the person who does the research needs to know something about the War?"

Lucca and Crono nodded.

"I don't know. It's hard. I mean, who do we know who actually could get access to the Royal Archives, knows something about the Mystic Wars, and has a different perspective? I don't think we know anybody."

Frog, Robo, Magus, and Lucca stared at Marle.

"I mean, they'd have to be from the Royal Family or something."

Magus put a hand on his forehead and shook his head. He mumbled something about weeping for the future.

"Sorry guys, but I think we're out of luck."

Magus groaned. "Marle, please correct me and tell me that _everything_ I know is wrong, but you are the princess, right?"

The princess blinked as the gears in her mind, stiff and long unused, slowly creaked and ground up to thinking velocity. She blinked. She shook her head. "Ummmmmm... yeah. I am a princess, aren't I?"

"No, this isn't happening," said Magus. "No one, and I mean no one, is that stup—"

"You didn't have any coffee this morning, did you, Marle?"

"I don't remember, Lucca."

"Apparently not." The inventor frowned. "Anyway, Marle, would you be so kind as to volunteer?"

"Ok," Marle nodded. "I'll have access to my tutor, daddy's speech writer, and all the secret stuff in the Royal Archives, so this should be a piece of cake."

"Excellent! So, now that that's out of the way, let's concentrate on when we'll actually do the broadcast. We'll need plenty of time to make sure the research is done well and to prepare all of the equipment. I'll probably even run a newspaper add in the _Guardia Daily Sun_. Guys, this must be a success. LuccaVision has to show its potential or people will laugh it off and it'll never catch on. Think a week is enough?"

Everyone indicated their assent.

"Ok. We meet back here in a week at noon, guys. Marle, good luck."

* * *

"So this is the Lucky Thirteen," said Marle. She looked around the opulent restaurant. "It's even fancier then the palace." 

"It is," agreed Crono.

The teenage swordsman glanced around. The restaurant was layers of luxury upon layers of luxury. The floor was carpeted in a sumptuous, plush, checked carpet, with red, blue, silver, and gold being the dominant colors. The furnishings were of the highest quality woods, with inlays of various precious metals and minor gemstones. The walls were elegantly decorated with mahogany panels and paintings of various big winners standing in front of slot machines, roulette wheels, and other gambling implements clutching fistfuls of casino chips. Exciting, hip music was playing over hidden speakers in the ceiling. Scattered throughout the restaurant were roulette wheels, black jack and craps tables, and the ubiquitous slot machines. Most were in use.

"Excuse me, may I help you?"

Crono directed his attention to the waiter. The man was in a blue and gold uniform, with an elaborate rhinestone studded glittering vest. "Yes, table for two."

"Right this way, please."

The waiter quickly directed the duo to a small table in a quiet corner of the restaurant and helped seat them. He gave them two menus then pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. "Now, Crono, Marle, what can I get you to drink?"

"How'd you know our names?" asked Crono.

"I've got a LuccaVision back home," the waiter grinned. "I'm a big fan of all you guys."

Marle smiled. "Glad you enjoy our shows."

"You guys really make for a good day. It's a lot of fun. Please give my regards to Lucca, Magus, Frog, and the rest," said the waiter. "Now, can I get you two something to drink?"

"Cola, please," said Crono.

"And you, Marle?"

"I guess I'll have the same."

"Ok, I'll be back in a few minutes," said the waiter. He left the table.

"Wow. This place looks expensive," said Marle. She glanced at the candle in the middle of the table. "I think this is one of those fancy aroma therapy thingies."

"Smells nice," Crono agreed. He opened the menu. "Whoa!"

"Is that a lot?" said Marle.

"No, this stuff's cheap! I guess it's 'cuz of the casino."

"Maybe. Crono, Daddy wants me back at the castle soon, so we can't stay too long."

"Oh well. Club sandwiches it is then."

"Sounds good."

The waiter approached the table. "Club sandwiches?" He placed Crono and Marle's drinks on the table.

Crono said, "Yeah, for the both of us."

"Ok, anything else?"

"Don't think so," replied Marle.

"Be back in a few moments," said the waiter as he left the table. A few moments later, he returned with the food, and Crono and Marle dug in. The food was good and for several minutes, the pair enjoyed their meal, stopping eating to chat occasionally before resuming.

Suddenly, the lights in the restaurant started to flash. A siren went off. Marle put down her sandwich and looked at Crono. They were about to stand up when...

"We have a winner!" The restaurant staff clustered around a man standing in front of a slot machine. The man was jumping up and down, screaming with joy as the slot machine produced a deluge of golden casino chips.

The current track playing over the in-ceiling speakers faded down as the waiters paraded the man through the restaurant. "Ladies and gentlemen," said a voice over the speakers, "this man, Thomas McPhereson, is our newest BIG WINNER! Mr. McPhereson, what do you have to say about this?"

"It was just as I expected," said a new voice. "I've been watching that machine for the past few minutes, and I knew... I knew! It's pattern was ready to give me a winning slot combination. And I won! Woooohooooo!"

"Let's all give Mr. McPhereson a big hand!"

Crono and Marle joined in the applause as McPhereson basked in his moment of triumph.

"Wonder how much he won."

"I don't know, Marle." Crono returned to eating his sandwich.

Marle finished her sandwich. A moment later, Crono finished his own.

Soon, the waiter arrived. He put the check on the table along with three two gil casino chips. "These chips are for the slot machines. They're on the house."

"Oh, thanks," said Crono, "but I don't think I should."

"Well, it's up to you, but what've you got to loose here?" said the waiter. "Have a good one." He left the table again.

Crono stood, pulled out his wallet, counted out enough to pay the tab and tip, and put the money on the table. "I guess one game couldn't hurt. What do you think, Marle?"

"I don't know, Crono." Marle frowned as she rose to her feet. "Isn't gambling addictive?"

"I'm sure I can resist the enormous temptation," said Crono. The teenage swordsman puffed up his chest as he walked up to a slot machine, deposited a chip, and pulled the lever.

Marle watched, at first with resigned acceptance, then with astonishment, as the slot machine's display reels whirled with symbols and finally came to rest. A small jackpot! "Wow," said the princess.

Crono pumped his hand into the air as his original chip became three.

"Alright!" Crono deposited another chip. He pulled the lever. He rubbed his hands together as the slot machine's chance reels spun on the display. Another jackpot! "Wooo-hooo!"

Marle shook her head. "You mean... no... way..."

"Oh yeah! Come on," Crono crooned as he put in yet another token and pulled the lever. He watched with baited breath as the machine spun, producing... nothing. "Bogus!"

"Ok, I guess we should go now," said Marle.

"Just a second," said Crono. "Marle, we started with three chips. Now I've got seven. May as well give it a couple more shots."

"I don't know, Crono."

"But I know," said Crono as he put another chip in the slot machine. Once again, the one-armed bandit produced no pay out.

Marle sighed and sat down as Crono tried again. And again... and again... and again... jackpot! And again... jackpot!

"Ok, Marle, I've got the pattern," said Crono. The swordsman chuckled, then frowned. The previous two jackpots had been small. He had seven chips again.

"Crono, aren't slot machines governed by chance?" asked Marle.

"Maybe so, maybe not," Crono put in another chip. And another... and another... and another...

"Ok, so we're out of chips," said Marle. "Let's go."

Crono stood up. Marle followed him... up to the cashier.

"Ten two gil chips," said Crono.

"Crono," said Marle, "this isn't a good idea."

"Here you are," said the cashier, handing Crono a small bag of chips.

"Marle, you've gotta live a little," said Crono. "Here, have a few."

"No thanks."

"Ok," Crono shrugged, walked back to the slot machine, and tried his luck. His luck failed again. Repeatedly.

"Now we go," said Marle.

Crono slowly nodded. He began to head towards the exit. Suddenly he stopped.

Marle overheard a man and a woman talking at a slot machine.

"You seem to win a lot," said the man.

"Yeah, I know it's all supposed to be equal chances and all, Roger, but when I put five and ten gil chips in the machine, I get more payouts."

Crono turned and walked back to the cashier. "Do you accept IOUs?"

"No, but we can bill you."

"Excellent. Ten ten gil chips please."

* * *

It had been a week since the fateful meeting. Today was the awaited great day. It was nearly noon, the equipment was ready, and success was nigh. Lucca snickered and wrung her hands gleefully as she looked around the studio. 

The studio was much the same as it had been before. On one side of the studio was the LuccaVision workshop. At the opposite side of the shed was the LuccaVision amplifier and mixing consoles. In the middle of the shed were several mounting pedestals; upon one was mounted a LuccaVision camera, which was focused at the end of the shed, where formerly the news anchor's desk and chairs had been located. Now, the desk and chairs had been removed. In their place stood a podium. Off to the side of the podium was a small black triangular table with a chair at each side. Magus was sitting in one of the chairs, watching the inventor. Everything was ready.

Magus shook his head as he watched Lucca check the LuccaVision camera, smirk, and then do an excited little dance.

"Lucca, you're counting your chickens before they hatch," said the wizard.

"Magus, that von Klopman prize is so close, I can feel it right here," Lucca cupped one of her arms, as if holding a baby to her chest and stroked the nonexistent award with her free hand. "Three point one four one five nine kilograms of achievement of a lifetime," she purred.

Magus adjusted his eyepatch and shook his head again.

Lucca walked up to the seated sorcerer, still cuddling her figment of her imagination. "You know, actually, I think I'll share it with you."

"Hmm? Why?"

"I would have given up long ago if it wasn't for you. Besides, with your transistors, I can make smaller LuccaVision cameras, smaller LuccaVision sets, and more powerful equipment."

"Woman, you are being overly optimistic," said the warlock. "Give me one good reason why this won't fail miserably."

"Magus, this is as close to guaranteed as we can get. I ran an add in the _Guardia Daily Sun_, I had another five hundred LuccaVisions built and distributed, and Marle is researching the broadcast with the full power of the crown to back her up. I've got two of the most reliable eyewitnesses of the Mystic Wars right here, right now. If this doesn't work," Lucca folded her arms against her chest and glanced at the floor, "I really don't know what I'll do."

For a moment, they both were silent.

"So what is the von Klopman prize anyway, Lucca?"

"Only the single greatest honor that may be bestowed upon a scientist," said Lucca. "It's the shock, awe, and approval of the entire scientific community distilled into one single token of appreciation."

"Is it really so important, Lucca?"

"Of course," said Lucca. "It will finally give me credibility in the scientific community. Most scientists think I'm some sort of crackpot after the Telepod malfunctioned and I claimed it was due to opening a time Gate."

"Does it really matter?"

"What?"

"What others think. LuccaVision works. It entertains people."

"It doesn't matter until it's recognized. Until then, it's just another spectacular Ashtear failure."

"So you don't think it isn't already a success? I thi—"

"Hey Lucca!" Marle interrupted. The princess bounded into the studio, Crono following slowly behind, his hands stuck in his pockets as he stared at the floor. His hair, finally starting to relax from its afro form, drooped as the teenage swordsman hung his head.

Magus glared at Marle.

"Hey, Marle," said Lucca.

"Hi, Lucca," Crono mumbled.

"What's wrong with him, Marle?"

"The bill from the casino came in today, Lucca."

"You went to a casino, Crono?" asked Lucca.

"I can't believe I let them fleece me like that. Ten thousand big ones."

"Crono, didn't you tell me you'd be fine back in high school when you slept through Mr. Fitzman's lecture on probability theory?"

Crono mumbled something unintelligible.

"Ten thousand gil, hmm?" said Magus. "Just think of all the things that could have been done with that."

"Shut up, Magus," grumbled Crono.

Magus cackled. "Gone. Down the toilet. Flushed away."

"Shut up, Magus." Frog entered the studio. "Dost thou require a reminder of thine experiences with chamber pots?"

"Shut up, Frog."

Frog chuckled.

"Play nice," said Lucca. "And there's Ayla. Good."

Ayla entered the studio. "Ayla ready for the baud-cast!"

A moment later, Robo arrived. "Madam Lucca, I'm ready."

"Excellent!" Lucca grinned. "Ok now, let's get straight to business. Marle, are you pumped up and ready for this?"

"Yeah!"

"How'd the research go?"

Marle suddenly became very quiet. She swallowed. "Very well, Lucca. There's a lot to know."

"Good. Now, Marle," Lucca pointed at the podium, "that podium is where you'll tell us of the Mystic Wars and their history. Just go up there and when I say 'action,' give the broadcast a nifty title and tell us about the Wars. When you are ready to interview Frog and Magus, say so and then move over here," Lucca walked over to the triangular table.

"As you can see, there are three seats at this table. The one directly facing the camera is for you, Marle," Lucca said, pointing out the appropriate seat. "The other two are for Frog and Magus."

Marle put her hands in her pockets and skulked to the podium as Lucca turned to the amphibian knight and the sorcerer. "Now, Frog, Magus, these two remaining seats are for you. When Marle says that she's ready to interview you, come up here and sit down in them. She'll ask you guys a few questions. Answer them from your own perspective. Oh, and Magus, you promised not to bicker during the broadcast. I expect nothing less, Frog. Understood?"

The knight-turned-frog nodded.

"Ok, one last little detail. I've installed directional microphones in the podium and at the interview table, so Ayla, Robo, I need you to run the mixer console."

"I'll show Madam Ayla what needs to be done," said Robo. He led the cavewoman to their position.

"What do I do, Lucca?" Crono asked.

"You know, I don't know," said Lucca. "Wait. You can be our continuity director. Watch what's going on and keep everything flowing."

"Ok, so how do I keep continuity without talking?"

"You can talk."

"Won't that interfere with the broadcast?"

"That's why I installed directional microphones at the podium and the interview table," Lucca smiled. "They can only 'hear' in one direction. Ayla and Robo will make sure that the only sounds the microphones pick up are the ones we want to broadcast."

"Oh."

"Alright, we'll start in a few moments," Lucca walked over to the LuccaVision camera. "Magus, Frog, until we need you onstage, wait over here with me. Positions, everyone!"

Crono watched as Marle fidgeted. The princess glanced down at her shoes and leaned against the podium.

"Marle, is something the matter?" The teenage swordsman walked over to the princess.

"Crono," Marle started. "My tut—no, I...I've blundered. I've ruined this broadcast, and it hasn't even started yet." She started to sniffle.

Crono gathered the princess in his arms. "Come on, Marle. You know we'll all be here for you. It's just a little documentary. No matter what happens, I'm sure we've done worse. I know you can do it. I have faith in you."

"But I know it's going to fail."

Crono glanced at Lucca. The teenage inventor was busy talking to Frog about something. "Marle," Crono looked the princess in the eye and gave her a gentle smile. "Why is it going to fail?"

"Well, remember when I told Lucca I'd have access to all the secret information in the Royal Archives on the Mystic Wars and stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"And how my history tutor would give me a hand?"

"Yeah?"

"And that Daddy's speech writer would coach me on the broadcast?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I kinda... well... put research off to the... last minute."

Crono's smile disappeared. "And then?"

"Well, my tutor got sick... and when I went to the Archives, the librarians had... ah... gone home for the day."

"When was this?"

"Last night." Marle smiled nervously.

"That is a problem," said Crono.

"Um, Daddy's speech writer was on vacation in Porre."

"That is a problem."

"I fell asleep when I was doing research from my history books."

"That is a problem," Crono reiterated.

"I always failed all my tutor's tests on the Mystic Wars."

"That too is a problem."

"And I'm supposed to host this broadcast," Marle wailed.

"Marle," Crono started. He paused. "Marle, I... I believe that when people want to watch LuccaVision, more than anything, they want to be entertained. I've thought about that a lot, and I think I may be right. Marle, when it's time, just... do your best. Entertain the people. Make them happy. Give them what they want."

"But they want the truth on the Mystic Wars," said Marle.

"That's not important," said Crono. "Marle, just do your best."

"Action!" called Lucca.

"Just do your best. Remember, Marle, you've got Magus and Frog there to help back you up. Just get it to a point where they can take over." Crono gave Marle a thumbs up and left her.

Marle leaned against the podium as she faced the camera. The camera's red 'on-air' light was shining steadily. She looked behind the camera, at Lucca, standing behind the camera, at Frog, standing to Lucca's left, and at Magus, who stood to Lucca's right. She had to somehow get the broadcast rolling. Somehow, she, Marle, had to make this broadcast a success.

A massive sphere of chill sweat fell and splattered on the surface of the podium like an obese raindrop. As if in accordance, the quiet rumbling of a developing thunderstorm outside echoed through the studio. A frightened thrill ran through her body. The merciless spotlights beat down upon her blonde head. Marle felt a cold hand seizing her heart as she realized that over one thousand families were watching their LuccaVision sets seeing her flub up with the mastery only attainable by true royalty.

And then she heard Crono's words of comfort, as if by magic, in her mind. She could see him in her mind's eye, flying above a sea of chaos like a floating Buddha, saying words of wisdom. "Entertain the people. Make them ha—," the voice calmly stated.

"—ppy. Marle. Earth to Marle," Crono whispered loudly offstage. "We're waiting."

Marle blinked. She was back in the real world. Crono was off to the side of the stage, Lucca was starting to look anxious, and Magus was stifling mean-spirited chuckles as Frog threatened him.

And now the princess knew what she would do. Perhaps she didn't know much about the Mystic Wars. Perhaps history was a mystery. But she had seen a little bit of the War herself. She knew who won, and she knew bits of the general plot. She'd seen the machines of the future and the struggles of the past. And what was history but simply dreams of a different world than the present? She could handle that. History was but a different world. She'd look into that different world, a world nestled in some deranged corner of her caffeine-addicted hyper-active brain, and report with absolute candor. She would recreate history.

Marle grinned. With Crono's words of wisdom echoing through her brain, she began.

* * *

Lucca inwardly cursed. Marle, despite being trained since birth in public speaking skills and blessed with access to the nearly limitless resources of the Crown, was obviously suffering from stage fright. 

Lucca glared at Magus as the wizard started expressing his opinions of the broadcast in the form of smothered laughter. Frog began making threats. Crono whispered words of encouragement. Lucca glanced over at the mixer console. Ayla was scratching her ears with her feet. Robo was looking at the inventor, as if awaiting a signal to abort the broadcast.

The teenage inventor was about to turn off the camera before things really went downhill when Marle spoke. Lucca sighed with relief.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I now present this special LuccaVision documentary: 'The Mystic Wars: What Really Happened!' I'm Marle, and today's program incorporates material never before seen or heard: things that the general public was never told about the Wars. Indeed, the material you will hear in this broadcast will completely change the way you look at history forever!"

Lucca nodded. A very nice intro. The inventor was glad she hadn't cut the broadcast. Once Marle really got going, this broadcast was going to be first rate. Perhaps it would even be successful. Lucca grinned. "Von Klopman prize, here we come," she cackled quietly.

"Furthermore, tonight I'll interview two of the great figures of the Mystic Wars: Frog, hero of Guardia, and Magus Zeal, King of the Mystics! But first: the war itself.

"The Mystic Wars. From the name alone, one can picture the war. Mystic. Conflict.

"Um...

"Mystical. Yeah. So anyway, to the casual observer of history, the war looks like any old conflict between two kingdoms, right? Wrong! This war was different. This war was... magical.

"Now, how did the war begin? For the Mystics, the war began long before the first bits of mystical were warring."

"Bits of mystical?" Magus guffawed.

"Close thy piehole, fiend," said Frog.

Magus was about to retort, but stopped as Marle spoke.

"Long ago, a boy named Janus was sucked by Lavos, a big creature, into the middle ages. Janus was discovered by the Mystics and became their leader. He became known as Magus."

Marle stopped.

* * *

That was all she knew of the beginnings of the war. Marle took a breath. How did the war actually start? At some point, she knew Queen Leene became involved, and that she and Lucca and Crono had fought Ozzie and a giant zombie at a bridge, and that, with Frog's help, they had defeated Magus. Well, there was only one thing to do. She took refuge in that little world in her head, mentally looked around, and spoke.

* * *

"The war started when Magus discovered that Shogun Guardia, generalissimo of the kingdom of Guardia, had a Dragon Tank," Marle suddenly blurted out. 

"Shogun? Dragon Tank? Generalissimo? What?" said Frog, disbelieving his ears.

Magus lost control and burst out into laughter.

Lucca was suddenly disappointed that she hadn't cut the broadcast when she'd had the chance. Her hands contracted into fists as she hung her head.

"Magus felt threatened. His armies were technologically inept and unsavory. He responded to the new threat by immediately instituting a mass calisthenics program, which was promptly canceled by Ozzie, Magus's trusted lieutenant, who felt physical fitness was overrated."

"Inept?" Magus growled. "Calisthenics! Ozzie, a trusted lieutenant! What the fu— "

"Hah! In thine face, O wizard!"

"Shut up, Froggie!"

"Thou canst make me, Maggie!"

Marle continued as the wizard and the knight traded insults. "Magus fell back to his backup plan and invented magic, which he began teaching the Mystics. Shogun Guardia and King Guardia feared magic, the sole weakness of the Dragon Tank, and sent the great hero of Porre, Tata, to fight Magus. Tata, however, lost his credentials, the great hero medal, to the Frog King. So the plain hero of Guardia, Cyrus, went to get it with vice-hero Glenn. Cyrus defeated the Frog King and got the medal, becoming the new great hero, making Glenn the new plain hero."

* * *

Marle nodded at her cleverness. Yes, her own little world was churning out a rich historical heritage ripe for the telling. Her lips were tingling with the tales of the Wars. She was thrilling in history. Her tutors were never so enjoyable as this! Now, to take it to the next level...

* * *

"Unfortunately, to fight Magus, Cyrus needed the sword Masamune, Magus's great weakness. In the fight to possess the Masamune, Magus killed Cyrus. Glenn was immediately promoted from plain hero to great hero, but became a frog in the process. So we call him Frog." 

"See, Frog? I'm innocent," said Magus. "I didn't turn you into a frog. You were simply '_promoted_.'" The wizard raised his eyebrows and indicated quotes with his fingers.

Frog had had it. The amphibian knight pounced.

Someone please shoot me now, thought Lucca as she watched Ayla leave her station to separate the pair and attempt to smack some sense into them.

"In the first battle of the Mystic Wars, the Battle of Trann Dome, the armies of Shogun Guardia and Magus met for the first time. At first, Dragon Tanks were not used, as General Slash and General Flea, the leaders of the tank divisions of Guardia, were late. When Slash and Flea finally arrived at the battle field, General Slash said a quote famous unto this day: 'Never get drunk and sleep with a fellow general unless you are sure he is a she and not a he.'"

"All done," Ayla announced. She returned to the mixer console.

The inventor surveyed the cave woman's handiwork. Magus and Frog were too busy rolling on the floor, clutching their heads, and moaning in pain to be concerned with fighting each other.

Lucca gave Ayla a thumbs up and groaned. It was over. The broadcast had been completely ruined. To cut off now though, would be an admittance of gross incompetence and unreliability. All she could do was finish the travesty. Her shoulders shook as she cursed under her breath.

"The armies of Magus were being overrun by the Dragon Tanks, until Magus himself took to the field with his great invention: the XM215 minigun! Singlehandedly, wielding both scythe and gun, he held off the tanks, destroying several dozen, until the Mystics could escape. As he himself retreated towards his castle, he said 'I'll be back!'

"Shogun Guardia suffered two great losses in the battle: Flea and Slash, for no apparent reason, turned evil and joined Magus and the Mystics! Despite this, historians consider the battle a draw."

"The next great battle saw the introduction of rockets by Guardia! Attacking Magus's Castle at the Battle of Azala's Lair, to counter the Mystic's magic the Shogun ordered long range bombardment of Magus's Castle with rockets! Unfortunately, Magus teleported his forces directly to the battlefield with his powers. Shogun Guardia's men were unprepared to find the enemy suddenly in their midst and if it hadn't been for their latest weapon, Batan's laser rifle, they would have been defeated. As it was, they were forced to retreat to the... um... Zenan Bridge!

"So, the Kingdom of Guardia was at its most desperate hour. With magic, Magus, and miniguns on the side of the Mystics, things looked hopeless. Guardia had only Dragon Tanks, which were defenseless against magic, rockets, which were unable to fight the Mystics's magical teleportation, and laser rifles, which were in short supply. How could such a battle be won?

"With us today are two of the greatest figures of the Mystic Wars. Frog, the great hero of Guardia, and Magus Zeal, the leader of the Mystics. These two men have agreed to appear here today to give you their perspectives on the War. Magus, Frog, come on up."

Marle sat down at her seat at the triangular table. Lucca reluctantly turned the camera to view the interviewing table and watched as Magus and Frog stood unsteadily and made their way to their seats. She watched with amazement as they shook hands.

"It's so wonderful you can be here tonight," said Marle.

"Thank you," Magus stated. "I hope we can discuss clearly and free of malice our experiences."

"As do I, foul fi—"

Magus grinned.

Frog coughed. "Pardon. Verily, I hope we shall come to realize how civil some here really are."

Lucca frowned and nodded.

"So, Frog, what event allowed Guardia to be victorious even at this terrible time?" said Marle.

* * *

Crono watched with astonishment as Marle interviewed Frog and Magus. With only an occasional wince of pain, followed by a gentle massaging of sore spots on their heads, the knight and the wizard were cooperating perfectly. They were thrilled with each other's exploits. They praised each other's accomplishments. Both carefully tried to repair Marle's less-than-perfect recollection of the Wars, before dismissing it as a lost cause and going along with her unique version of history. 

Lucca sighed angrily. "Typical."

"Lucca, this is amazing! I mean, the broadcast... well.. but they're actually..." Crono's mouth dropped open as Magus gave Frog a friendly across-the-table pat on the shoulder.

"Don't you get it, Crono? The morons are competing to see who can be nicer than the other," said Lucca.

"Hmm." Crono listened in.

"And I had the great Mystic painter Mertsplorten make a beautiful portrait of me. I had it hung in my castle's great hall. Did you see it when you were there, Frog?"

"Thine portrait was grand, Magus. Verily, few, save Galen's portrait of Queen Leene at Guardia Castle, could rival such artistry."

"Yes, Galen was great. One of the few cases where a student of Mertsplorten nearly equaled his master in greatness. But few can debate," Magus grinned, "that Mertsplorten's likeness of the Frog King wasn't true genius in action."

"Indeed. The Frog King was as mine faculties hath retained."

"I suppose that the visage of the Frog King would be very memorable to you," the egoistical wizard nodded. "The painting was most impressive."

Marle said, "Anyhow, at the moment of your defeat, what was your impression of the quest against you?"

"Justified, of course. Frog had no way of knowing my true purpose, the noble cause to save the world. With my power invested in the summoning of Lavos, I never had a hope of victory against his misguided attack."

Crono sighed. "Yup. How could I have mistaken it for anything other than a fight?"

"Magus, you say 'if he had known your true purpose.' What would have happened at that final battle if he had known of your quest to defeat Lavos?"

"I had done nothing wrong, Marle," said Magus. "We would have settled our trivial differences and fought Lavos."

Frog shifted in his seat. "What of Cyrus?"

"I did not kill Cyrus out of malice. He had to die so that I could fight Lavos. I do not say it was the right thing. Only, at the time, a necessary deed."

"Dost thou not see that Cyrus might have joined thee in thy quest had he but known?"

"Cyrus never would have joined. He would have felt that my true purpose was a lie. I had no choice."

"I believe thou didst underestimate Cyrus's honor."

"Perhaps. I did what I had to do for my people and my cause. His death was trivial compared to the threat of Lavos."

"Cyrus shall not be trifled," growled Frog. The amphibian knight's hand went to the hilt of the Masamune. "Maggie."

"Calm down, Froggie. It's not that important."

"It is, Maggie."

"Really, Froggie?"

"Maggie."

"Froggie."

For a moment, there was silence. Then Frog and Magus simultaneously winced and rubbed their heads.

"Of course, we must speak of the role of the Dragon tank in the final battle," said Marle. "How did your use of teleportation influence the battle, Magus?"

"Umm..."

* * *

"And so, ladies and gentlemen of Guardia, we conclude our broadcast on the Mystic Wars. I hope you've all learned something from the experience. I know I have," said Marle. 

Lucca turned off the camera.

Everyone stared at Marle.

The princess glanced about worriedly. "What?"

Lucca's eyes narrowed. Wreaths of flames appeared around her tightly clenched fists.

Frog ribbited.

The Doomsickle appeared in Magus's hands as he stepped next to Lucca. "My armies inept? Ozzie, trusted?"

Marle swallowed. Magus's voice was laden with unspoken promises of pain beyond imagining. Lucca was obviously willing to help Magus fulfill them.

Someone sniffled. Someone sobbed.

The flames around Lucca's fists dissipated as the inventor turned and ran out of the studio, into the pouring rain outside. Lightning flashed.

For a moment, no one moved.

Magus turned and left the studio. A few moments later, the others followed.

And outside, the wind howled...

* * *

Tssk tssk tssk tssk... poor Lucca. She just doesn't seem very fortunate, does she? Well, that might be about to change (depending on your point of view) in the next episode... muahahahahaha! And just what is going on between everyone's favorite wizard and inventor? Will Lucca's parents emerge triumphant? Tune in next time for some answers! Well, that's our show, thanks for watching. If you'll excuse me, I've got some work to do on then next episode. Until then, be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes! And remember to leave a review!  



	8. Chasers of the Storm!

Chasers of the Storm!  
© 2006 by hyperdrive

* * *

Welcome to the latest installment of _The Masadoom and Company: Chasers of the Storm!_ Once again, despite the intensity of rumors to the contrary, I do not own the characters, situation, plot, or other related Chrono Trigger paraphernalia. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did writing it! Please read and review: 'tis the only way I might improve my writings. 

Before the story starts, I've got just one more thing to say: Mwhahahahahaha!

* * *

Lucca shivered as the rotting cabin wall she was sitting against creaked dangerously against the chill winds outside. Her clothing was stiff, soaked with freezing rain. She glanced at the blackened, swollen lump that was her ankle and growled in frustration. The inventor shifted the position of her good leg, for a moment wishing her bottom was a bit more cushioned against the cabin's rough wooden floor. 

Lucca glanced at Magus. The wizard was checking every nook and cranny of the single room cabin, utilizing the orange-yellow light of her helmet-mounted flashlight, for anything useful. He tossed a broken down chair into a corner of the cabin, his ice-permeated clothing emitting crackling sounds as he moved. The wizard mumbled something very uncomplimentary about overused clichés as he concluded his search.

"So, we have a chair, an empty fireplace, and the roof over our heads," Magus stated. After shaking the ice off of his woolen cape, the wizard tore from it a long, narrow strip of cloth, and knelt down beside Lucca.

"What are you doing?" asked the inventor. She winced as her ankle expressed its dissatisfaction with its current twisted condition.

With surprising gentleness, Magus lifted her injured leg and began wrapping it in the strip. "I'm immobilizing your ankle." The wizard finally tied off the impromptu bandage before sitting down on the floor.

"So I guess we wait the storm out," remarked Lucca.

The warlock prince glanced at the cabin's dust-covered window for a moment. He watched as thick sheets of snow swirled outside, occasionally interspersed with speeding pellets of hail. A sprinkling of sleet followed before it began snowing again. Magus finally turned off Lucca's helmet light, reducing the light levels in the cabin to the tiny amount of sunlight that filtered down through the thick clouds and survived the journey through the cabin's dingy window.

"We'll be waiting for a while," he finally announced. "This storm system has far too much energy to end anytime soon."

"That's too bad." Lucca shivered. "It's starting to get cold in here."

For a few moments, silence reigned.

"So, whose stupid idea was it to do storm chasing as our next LuccaVision broadcast, Lucca?"

The inventor chuckled nervously. "I think it was Crono's."

* * *

"Where's Lucca?" asked Magus as he entered the living room of Lucca's house. 

"She's upstairs in her room," said Taban. "She's pretty upset about that broadcast, Magus."

Magus nodded and, suspended by magic, soared up the stairs.

After a few seconds, the rest of the Crono Trigger crew entered the house.

"You guys might not want to bother her right now," said Lara. "She's pretty upset about that last broadcast."

Marle punched a fist into the air. "Then let's cheer her up!"

Ayla followed Marle's lead. "Sad no good! We spread cheer to purple hair!"

Once again, the Crono Trigger crew started to climb the stairs.

"Stop," said Ayla.

"Prithee, let us be on our way, milady," said Frog.

"Maybe blue hair go to make cheer with purple hair?"

"Surely not! Him make cheer with anyone?" The knight-turned-frog blinked, suddenly turned greener, and hastened up the stairs, making choking noises.

"Blue and purple hair need alone time to make cheer!" protested Ayla as she followed Frog.

Marle glanced at Crono, Lara, and Taban, who were stifling giggles. "Am I missing something?"

"Making cheer," Crono sputtered.

"Making ch—" the princess's face darkened. "Perverts!" Marle stormed upstairs.

Crono shrugged and went upstairs with Robo, joining the small crowd now surrounding Lucca's door.

Frog said indignantly, "Lady Lucca will not open her chambers. Lady Marle, how didst thou so wrongly research thy presentation?"

"Ok, so maybe the documentary wasn't so hot," admitted Marle.

"No, it wasn't," agreed Crono.

"Well how was I supposed to know that they didn't have machine guns and Dragon Tanks and rockets and laser rifles and stuff back during the Mystic Wars?" said Marle.

"We were there during the Mystic Wars," said Robo.

"Thou couldst made thine inadequate research known unto me or the wizard," said Frog.

"Shut up, all of you," said Magus. "You all dropped the ball on that one, either by association or direct culpability."

"Well, what about you?" snapped Marle.

Magus ignored Marle and knocked on Lucca's door.

"I don't want to see you right now!"

"Ok," said Crono. The teenage swordsman turned to leave, but Marle stopped him.

Magus pounded on the door again. "Lucca," he paused for a moment, "that... that broadcast besmirched the honor of my people! Can you imagine having your armies being called 'technologically inept and unsavory?'"

"Go away!"

"Of course you can't! My armies were scoundrels who fought with stone knives and bearskins! They weren't technologically inept and unsavory, they were technologically inept, unsavory, and suicidally courageous!"

"I don't care!"

"Lucca, you can't just hide from the world and sulk if you ever want things to improve," said Magus. "You can't dwell on this!"

"It's my life and I'll dwell if I want to!"

"We are going to try again, and we are going to get this right. At the least, the Mystics must be given proper credit. Now, unlock the door and face this like the Lucca I know or I am coming in there to get you!"

"I'm not decent!"

"Open this door now!"

"No!"

Magus cracked his knuckles.

Frog began, "Mayhap thou shouldst honor the lady's reque—"

Magus pointed a finger at the door knob. With a metallic clanking, the door unlocked and opened. The wizard entered the room and closed the door.

"—st." finished Frog.

"Now we go. Let purple hair and blue hair have pri-vass-ee. Need alone time to make strong babies."

"You know, Ayla, you might be on to something. Magus does se—"

Marle was interrupted by loud screaming, followed by loud protestations of "I didn't know," "I told you so," "I didn't—," "Get OUT," "Ok, Ok," "Stop looking," and "I'm not!"

Magus burst out of Lucca's room, slamming the door shut behind him. The warlock prince's eyes were wide, and the skin over his cheekbones and on the tips of his ears was flushed red. A greenish-gray teeshirt was slung over his shoulder. The wizard slumped to the floor, his back leaning against Lucca's closed door.

"Magus?" said Crono. The teenage swordsman waved his hands in front of the wizard's face.

Magus's eyes remained wide, staring into infinity. His breathing came in short, stunted pants.

"Blue hair?" said Ayla. She grabbed a fistful of blue hair and tugged.

Magus murmured, "th-th-th..."

"I doth think she broke him," said Frog.

"The-there w-wasn't a st-t-itch on her," murmured the bewildered wizard as he slowly wrapped his fist around the teeshirt.

"Was she pretty?" said Crono, before being slapped in the back of the head by Marle. "Ow!"

"She was—" Magus blinked, his eyes focusing as he stood. "Stop acting like a pervert. We will speak no more about this."

A moment later, Lucca's door opened. The inventor stormed out.

"There! If you're going to be such a egoistical pill about it, I'll do it. You happy now?" she growled.

Magus thrust the teeshirt into her arms, blushing fiercely. Lucca followed the wizard's lead, reddening as she tossed the garment into her room before closing the door behind her.

"So, O wizard, what will this broadcast be about, hmm?"

"Magus, be careful. I think Lucca's pissed," said Crono.

"OF COURSE I'M PISSED! WHY SHOULDN'T I BE?" roared Lucca.

"Blue hair and purple hair need to go make some cheer! Pri-vass-ee?"

"Lady Ayla, thy words presently lack soothing grace. Wilt thou be silent?"

"Lucca, Magus didn't mean it," said Marle in her most calming voice. "He's not a pervert like Crono is. Right, Crono? Right?"

The teenage swordsman had lost track of the rapid fire statements flying round him. He nodded. "Right! What am I agreeing with?"

Marle hit Crono again. "Pervert!"

"What'd I do?" moaned Crono.

"Lady Marle! Such unneeded force be unseemly and unnecessary for a lady such as thee!"

"So," the inventor jabbed the warlock in the stomach with her fingers, "did it fuel your ego to invade my privacy like that? Huh?"

Magus shook his head vigorously. "It wasn't purposeful! I swear! I thought you were using a deception as an excuse!"

"First you grope me, and now this!"

"Didn't we already resolve that?"

Robo watched the rapidly growing dispute silently for several moments. Finally, he moved forward and spoke. "Perhaps we should meet again in a few hours. I believe we all need some time to calm down before we can discuss things logically."

"Verily, Sir Robo hath advanced an equitable suggestion. We shouldst benefit through the acceptance of such advising."

Crono shook his head. While Frog had been speaking, Marle had asked him another question, and he was sure that the wrong answer would be painful. "Yes, Robo and Frog have a great idea! Let's take a breather."

"Yes, let's do," said Magus.

"Alright," Lucca agreed after a moment. "Is three hours enough?"

Everyone gave their assent and then went their separate ways.

* * *

Three hours later, everyone met in the living room of Lucca's house. 

"Ok, so we've done a commercial, a play, a gameshow, a political satire, a news broadcast, and a documentary," said Lucca. The inventor took a sip from her tea, sat down on the couch, put her tea on the battered table in front of the couch, and glanced at her comrades, her gaze tactfully avoiding a particular wizard. "Ideas?"

For a moment, all was silent.

"We shouldst do a tourney," said Frog. "A dazzling hour of feats of valor and honor."

Lucca began to smile. "That's not a bad idea." She envisioned the tournament.

Frog and Magus stood at either side of a battlefield. Bits of Robo, Crono, Marle, and Ayla littered the area. Both the wizard and the knight were bloodied and battle-worn.

"From hell's heart, I stab at thee, foul cretin," growled Frog.

"To the last breath, for hate's sake," roared Magus.

From her position behind the still-recording LuccaVision camera, Lucca felt the last of her inner child die away as Magus and Frog met in deadly rendezvous.

The inventor shook her head. "Let's not do a tourney."

"I've got it!" Crono stood up from his chair and nodded. "We'll do a huntin' show! Me and me katana will show y'all how to track, kill, gut, and cook the various varmints in Guardia Forest for food and for pleasure."

Marle began turning green. "Isn't gutting where you cut open the animal and remove stuff?"

"Oh yes," said Magus, a wicked smirk appearing on his face. "You rip out the entrails, you drain the crimson lifeblood, you wash out the bloody carcass, and then you slowly remove the vitals, like the heart and lun—"

Seeing Marle turning greener and greener with each passing second, Frog interrupted. "That's enough, wizard, lest thy tongue and thy head be soon parted."

"Yes, let's try for more family friendly entertainment," said Lucca. "Like watching paint dry. Paint is good at acting like it should, without surprises."

"But it needs excitement," said Marle.

"And swords!" exclaimed Crono.

Magus nodded. "And danger is a must."

"It needs to be complex enough to show we put in effort, but easy enough so we don't mess it up," said Robo.

Magus began to yawn.

"A tourney it shall be, then!" Frog stood, unsheathed the Masamune, and gave it a few swings. Magus jerked his head back, snapped his mouth closed, and glared as a swing came uncomfortably close to his tongue.

"Oops. Verily, Masamune didst seem to move with a mind of its own."

"One of my friends is also good at moving with a mind of its own," Magus growled as the Doomsickle appeared in his hand.

"Dost thou challenge me, foul sorcerer?"

"If you want to die that much, yes."

Frog stood up from the couch and reached for the Masamune as Magus gave the Doomsickle a tentative swing.

"Magus, Frog," said Lucca.

"Yes?" replied the wizard and the amphibian knight.

Lucca drew the Wondershot from its holster and cocked it. "If you two fight, I will fry you both with my ray gun. It will hurt."

Magus and Frog glared at each other for a few moments before sitting down again.

"Good. Let's act half civilized, if you guys don't mind, Ok?" said Lucca. "For obvious reasons, I veto the idea of doing a tour—."

The door to the living room burst open. Taban ran inside, clutching a circular dial in one hand while balancing several other unusual instruments in his arms, including a small pipe with a windsock attached to the end.

"Lucca! Huf-puf-puf," Taban panted.

"What's wrong?"

"Look! Look! Look!" The elder inventor thrust the dial at Lucca. "The barometer! It's plummeting!"

Lucca examined the dial for a moment, blinked, and then examined it more closely. "That's weird. I might not know much about weather, but the air pressure shouldn't be dropping that fast."

"Err per-su-err?" asked Ayla.

"Air pressure," said Magus. "Decreased air pressure indicates strong updrafts and low pressure systems, which often accompany storms."

"Precisely!" Taban nodded as he removed a heavy coat from the coat tree beside the front door and pulled it on. "With air pressure decreasing as it is now, this weather is going to be so bad that any scientist worth his or her salt is going to try to observe it in some way."

"Any scientist, eh?"

"That's right, Lucca. It would be of great scientific importance if people could observe first hand what happens in the heart of storms like this one." Taban opened the door and walked outside.

Lucca guffawed.

She started laughing.

She threw her head back, spread her arms, and laughed as only a mad scientist could as thunder rolled and lightning flashed outside.

Marle began to whimper.

Crono groaned.

Frog gulped.

Robo produced a whirring that could easily have been interpreted as a robotic sigh.

Ayla cracked her knuckles. "Bring on wind!"

Magus glanced out the window. Outside, it was no longer raining; however, tall trees whipped about and leaves and other bits of loose trash were whirling in circles on the ground. Magus looked back at Lucca. "No. You aren't thinking that. You just aren't. I'm just taking that sinister laugh wrong, right?"

"Ladies and gentlemen," Lucca grinned, "we are going to become storm chasers."

* * *

Lucca shivered. Now that her helmet light was off, it seemed that the temperature inside the abandoned cabin was dropping even faster. What faint light remained inside the cabin reflected off of the silvery clouds of her and the wizard's every breath. Her clothing seemed to be constricting, tightening around her into a cocoon of ice. 

"No, Lucca, storm chasing wasn't Crono's idea," said Magus. "It was yours, woman. Now we are stuck in this cabin until those clouds stop precipitating."

Lucca raised an eyebrow. "Precipitating?"

"Precipitating: the production of moisture by clouds, whether in the form of rain, sleet, snow, or hail."

"Oh. When do you think the clouds will stop precipitating?"

"Hmm. Let me converse with the atmosphere," said the wizard.

"Magus..." Lucca warned.

"Four to eight hours, maybe. Not anytime soon."

The inventor sighed. For the moment, the storm had stopped hailing and sleeting, selecting snow as its weapon of choice. In the silence of the cabin, Lucca could hear the relaxing soft clicking sound of snow landing on the cabin roof. Suddenly, she realized that she could no longer see.

As if he had read her mind, Magus said, "The sun must have set outside. This is going to be a long night."

"It's going to get a lot colder, isn't it?"

The egoistical sorcerer made a sound halfway between a snort and a chuckle. "It will get colder, but not as much as you'd think. The clouds will act like a blanket, trapping heat against the earth, rather than allowing it to escape into space."

"Space?"

"The exosphere. The area beyond the planet's atmosphere. Your limited science probably hasn't discovered it yet."

Lucca wondered for a moment whether Magus had intended his statement about her time's scientific knowledge as an insult or not before deciding to ignore it. "Of course we know about space. We just haven't figured out how to make aircraft with powerful enough engines to establish an orbit."

"Hmph. There's not enough air in space for ordinary engines to work. You've got to use rockets."

"Rockets? They aren't powerful enough for that," Lucca protested.

"They can be, with the right fuel," the wizard replied.

"Really?"

"Really. The fuel can't just burn: it has to detonate when ignited. In fact, that's what the Blackbird used."

Lucca pondered for a few moments about rockets before she was interrupted.

"Lucca?"

The inventor noted that the wizard seemed... nervous. "Yes?"

"It-it wasn't intentional, earlier."

"What wasn't int—" Lucca felt her face starting to heat up. "Oh. That."

"I thought you were just saying that you weren't... decent—a ruse. I didn't realize you were actually chang—"

"Let's just let bygones be bygones. Actually, I should be thanking you. I'd be wallowing in self pity right now if you hadn't made me try again."

"So now, instead of wallowing in your self pity, we nearly bite the dust and then get stuck in this cabin."

"You know what I mean." Lucca tried to stretch out without shifting her twisted ankle. "How do you think this attempt at a decent LuccaVision broadcast went?"

Magus chose his words carefully. "I haven't the foggiest."

* * *

The Crono Trigger crew struggled against the increasing wind as Lucca guided them towards the outdoor garage. 

"Lucca, I don't think this is such a hot idea," Marle shouted over the wind.

"Nonsense! This is just the sort of thing that will regain our credibility with the scientific community! An in-depth video survey of weather phenomenon!"

"How can we observe this storm safely? I like my phenomenon safe!" Crono called.

"Thanks to our generous grant from King Guardia, I have nearly outfitted our own mobile LuccaVision studio!" Lucca opened the garage door, revealing Taban's truck. Several antennas of various sizes and shapes sprouted out of the covered enclosure for the driver and passenger, and the open bed of the truck had been outfitted with several mounting positions for LuccaVision cameras. Upon one of the mounts was a LuccaVision camera. "Climb on!"

Magus promptly helped himself to the driver's seat.

"Lady Lucca," started Frog, "there are only two seats protected from the weather in this wheeled contrivance."

"Well, it's not quite done yet," Lucca admitted. "When it's done, there'll be a canvas top that we can fold back over the bed. But don't worry! We can outrun the storm with this!"

"If thou dost say so, my lady," said Frog uncertainly as he climbed into the back.

Crono, Ayla, Marle, and Robo followed Frog's lead, climbing into the open bed of the truck.

"Now, guys, we have two LuccaVision cameras now. You guys remember what to do, right?"

"When the camera beeps at us, and the red record light is on, we are the ones broadcasting. When the red light's off, the other camera is broadcasting. Right, Lucca?"

"Perfect, Crono!" Lucca opened the passenger's side door and climbed into the truck.

Crono examined the camera. "So what do we actually do?"

"Lucca didn't say anything about the actual broadcast," Robo stated.

"Talk about the weather, aim the camera at cool stuff," suggested Marle.

"Ok."

* * *

Arriving at the passenger's seat, Lucca pulled the other LuccaVision camera out from its stowing place in the oversized glove box. "Magus, you don't know how to drive this thing. Let me have the driver's seat." 

"Pshaw! I'll bet this is just like flying Epoch."

Lucca shook her head. The actual workings of the vehicle were nearly enough to boggle her own mind. The wizard was obviously overdue for a schooling in who was the more knowledgeable. "No it isn't. It's not all point and click with a throttle lever and stuff. You've got to start it with that key besides the steering wheel, push that middle clutch pedal near the floor, release the emergency brake lever, and then shift it into first gear with that lever to make it go. The pedal on the right is the accelerator, while the pedal on the left applies the brakes. And then you've got to upshift as you speed up. It's a lot different from Epoch. See? You don't know how to drive." Lucca grinned and nodded. "You're head's a-whirl with confusion. Gimme the driver's seat."

Magus turned the key besides the steering wheel, grinning with satisfaction as the engine roared to life. He pressed the middle pedal on the floor down with his foot, pushed down the lever marked 'emergency brake,' and fiddled with the gearshift lever until it was in the '1' position. He depressed the pedal on the right, and, hearing the engine rev without the car moving, had a burst of intuition, resulting in him releasing the middle pedal. He smirked as he drove the truck out of the garage. "Thanks for teaching me how to drive, Lucca."

"I really hate you sometimes."

"So then why you can't live without me, woman?" Magus began fiddling with the gearshift lever as he sped up, realizing far too soon for Lucca's liking exactly how to control the truck's transmission as depressed the clutch and moved the lever to the '2' position.

Realizing that the truck and the wizard had quickly developed some sort of intuitive and instinctive car/driver relationship, Lucca finally turned on her LuccaVision camera, and, holding the camera in her hands for easy maneuverability, began the broadcast. "Ladies and gentlemen of Guardia, this is Lucca Ashtear presenting a special scientific broadcast: Chasers of the Storm! We are going to delve into this rapidly brewing weather phenomenon to show you sights never before seen, and reveal mysteries hitherto unknown to even science itself!

"As you all know, I am Lucca Ashtear, engineer, scientist, theoretician, and inventor," Lucca aimed the camera at Magus. "This is Magus, our driver and a powerful wizard. Also with us today are Crono, a swordsman, Frog, a knight of Guardia, Marle, princess of Guardia, Ayla, a cavewoman, and Robo, a robot.

"We are now enroute to one of our planned observation points so we can watch the storm develop. Over to you, Crono," Lucca flipped a switch on the truck's dashboard. The truck's built-in circuitry automatically turned off Lucca's camera while engaging the camera in the truck bed.

She and Magus then began to plan the location of their observation points.

* * *

"Oh, drat," said Crono as the LuccaVision camera started beeping loudly. The red light on the camera came on, indicating that it was now filming. 

Crono examined the camera for a moment, trying to remember how to work it whilst resisting the wind's attempts to blow him out of the bed of the truck.

"Sir Crono, thou mayest not gaze into the lens. Thou shalt look through the viewfinder!"

"But... there are pretty little flashy light thingies inside the lens thingy," said Crono.

Frog mercifully chose to step up to the challenge of operating the camera. "Sir Crono, I hath more experience with this contrivance than thee. Allow me."

"Thank you, Frog."

The amphibian knight aimed the camera at Crono and motioned for him to speak.

Crono cleared his throat. "Well, we're currently driving around. The wind's really strong. And up there," Crono pointed up, "is the sky. It is full of clouds. It isn't a calm blue sky with puffy cute clouds. These clouds are really dark, and they're swirling really fast. Um, back to you, Lucca?"

Frog shook his head. "Verily, we hath no way to alert Lady Lucca to resume her broadcasting. We must continue till she switches the cameras on her own accord."

Marle took over for Crono. "I've never seen weather like this. Fortunately, this storm is still growing, so we don't have to deal with rain right now. Whoa! Whoa," Marle fell to her bottom as the truck turned off of the road to Lucca's house onto a bumpy dirt cattle track. "Over to you, Ayla!"

Frog aimed the camera at Ayla.

"Ayla see storm like this many fewer winters yesterday. Ayla say, 'no can see sun,' just like now. No can see sun. Sky dark and swirly. Great Lord send storm to punish. He reach out finger."

"What?" said Crono. The teenage swordsman's eyes widened.

Ayla continued. "Ioka run to caves, watch. Lord take Ioka Village with finger to sky. We sorry to Lord, build bigger and better village!"

"Ayla, what did you just say?"

"We sorry to Lord, build bigger and better village, Crono!" Ayla looked up at the sky. "Find cave?" Ayla walked out of the camera's field of view.

Marle shrugged. "Over to Robo, I guess?"

Frog aimed the camera at Robo.

"Thank you, Marle. As our friend Ayla has correctly pointed out, we are currently viewing the development of a mesocyclone, also known as a supercell thunderstorm. They are quite rare in this area and season. Mesocyclones are well known for their violent updrafts, which causes low barometric pressure, and their extreme rotation. This combination is ideal for the spawning of vortices and other tornadic activities."

"What the devil? Vortices?" said Frog.

"Tornadic?" said Crono and Marle.

Ayla pointed into the sky and shouted. "Look! Lord reach down!"

As Crono, Robo, and Marle searched the skies, Frog aimed the camera at the spot of sky Ayla was pointing at and zoomed in.

A tendril of cloud slowly reached down from the sky, descending into a wheat field several miles distant. Robo, Frog, Marle, and Ayla watched in awe as it cut a thin swath of destruction through the wheat.

Crono was pounding on the window that separated the uncovered bed of the truck from the enclosed cab. "Lucca! Lucca! Lucca! We've gotta git outta here!"

After several miles, the truck came to a stop. Lucca and Magus got out.

"Lucca! Tornado!" shrieked Crono. He pointed at the funnel in the distance.

"Oh, cool!" said Lucca. "Frog, you're getting that, right?"

Frog looked up from the LuccaVision camera. "Indeed, milady."

"We've got to get out of here," yelled Crono over the wind.

Lucca replied, "Why? The tornado's heading away from us."

Robo spoke. "In fact, it will continue to head away from us. In this area, tornados travel approximately southwest to northeast. We are southwest of the funnel, so it is moving away from us."

"Oh. Cool," said Crono. "Let's stay and watch it!"

"No way," said Lucca.

"What?" the teenage swordsman asked disappointedly.

"We aren't going to stay and watch it," Lucca got into the driver's seat of the truck. "We're going to chase it!" Lucca closed her door.

Magus got into the passenger's side and shut the door.

Crono looked hopefully at his companions in the truck bed. "I misheard, right, Frog, Marle, Ayla, Robo? Right?"

Frog, Marle, Ayla, and Robo shook their heads. Crono held onto the truck for dear life as Lucca turned off the cattle track and began pursuing the twister through the field.

* * *

"Hey! That's my seat you're sitting in, you squatter," growled Magus from the passenger seat. 

"Quiet! I need to concentrate. These fields are soft, and we don't need to get stuck. Not while this broadcast is doing so well! Just think, Magus, of all those people who are stuck inside their homes because of this weather! A captive audience!"

Magus winced as the truck dove into a massive pothole and then bounced over a tall rock. "Lucca, let me drive. We need this truck intact if we want to get home anytime soon."

Lucca pulled to a stop atop a small hill and got out of the truck. "This is the perfect spot to film something like this," Lucca roared over the ever-loudening wind. "Frog, how's it going? Frog?"

The amphibian knight had given control of the camera back to Crono and had gotten out of the truck. He was doubled over, clutching his stomach.

"Frog, are you alright?"

"Just a tad sick, milady. Thine wheeled contrivance doth produce a rocking motion anathema to mine good digestion."

Crono watched Lucca attending to Frog for a moment before taking over Frog's post. Imitating the amphibian knight, he quickly recalled how to operate the camera.

"So, once someone sets it all up for you, it's just about point and shoot, huh? Ahem. You know, good folks of Guardia, this is like watching a professional swordsman taking on an army of amateurs," said Crono at the top of his lungs, as he watched the twister's progress through the viewfinder. "The tornado is merciless, taking no quarter in its quest for justice! One enemy after another goes down. Pow! There goes a tree! Wham! There goes a chicken coop! Bam! An empty wagon! Wait..." Crono stepped away from the camera for a moment so he could use his full spatial vision instead of the tiny picture in the viewfinder.

"Crono! Ayla see shelter, come!" said Ayla. She pointed out to him a small cave at the base of the hill.

"That's Ok, Ayla. We don't need shelter. Tornados travel southwest to northeast, remember?"

"Crono need to take shelter! The finger is coming!" Ayla screamed over the wind.

"Ayla, I'm trying to see something. Is it just me, or is the funnel headed for the outskirts of Truce?"

Ayla nodded.

"Hey, guys! That thing's headed for Truce!" yelled Crono. The teenage swordsman gleefully returned to the camera. "Heh! Hopefully it'll take out that casino that fleeced me."

With the exception of Ayla, who had abandoned bothering Crono to bother Magus, everyone's attention was now focused on the tornado approaching Truce.

"Pow! There goes the used wagon lot! Wham! The Evil Insurance Salesman's Office! Hope you had insurance on that!" Crono chortled. "The Personal Injury Attorney's Office! This twister's out for blood, viewers. Aww, it missed the casino... Kaboom! There goes my house! And my next door neig—it took out my house! It took out my house!"

Ayla continued to bother Magus. Finally, he turned around.

"Take shelter now?" asked Ayla.

"Lucca," said Magus, with infinite calm.

"Not now, Magus. This is the coolest thing I have ever seen in my life."

"Lucca, hypothetically speaking, we are southwest of the funnel cloud you're watching, right?"

"I suppose." Lucca adjusted her angle against the wind.

"So, hypothetically speaking, we are northeast to anything behind us, right?"

Lucca suddenly felt her skin prickling with goosebumps. The wind was tugging at her from behind. Magus was looking back. Ayla was wildly gesticulating at something. "This question isn't hypothetical, is it?"

"Nope."

The inventor turned around.

A massive black column, stretching from the ground to the sky, was thundering towards them. It clove the field behind it in twain, leaving a mile wide path of oblivion in its wake. Its roar was louder than the roar of Lavos itself. Whole trees were caught in its grasp, flung about like so many toothpicks. The earth beneath Lucca's feet was shuddering as it approached.

Ayla had finally gotten everybody's attention. The twister terrorizing Truce was forgotten as this new leviathan approached, moving with all the speed of an express train.

"Get in the truck!" Lucca shrieked as she dove into the driver's seat and closed the door. Magus got in next to her. She started the engine, and then watched incredulously as Frog, Crono, Robo, and Marle ran down the hill with Ayla. "Where are they going, Magus?"

"There's a cave of some sort at the bottom of this hill."

Lucca started to get out of the truck. Magus stopped her. "It's too late to follow them!" he roared. "Drive!"

The inventor didn't need to be told twice. In a flash, the truck was lurching along the field.

"Must go faster. Must go faster! Go!"

Lucca cried out in pain as the truck hit a concealed rock. The truck lurched, tangling one of her feet with the clutch pedal, and then pulling.

"Lucca, we need to be going faster!"

"My ankle," she moaned.

"Lucca, let me sit there! Scoot over here!"

Lucca began scooting.

Magus looked out the truck's back window. It was completely filled with churning darkness.

"Scoot faster!" Magus swung himself over Lucca's lap and into the driver's seat. The engine screamed as he floored the accelerator and shifted into top gear. Settling into the seat, he searched for a way out of their predicament.

The tornado was gaining faster than the truck could move.

"Well, it's been nice knowing you, Magus."

The truck lurched, deprived of its connection with the ground.

"So this is the way we're going to die, Magus."

Magus put his arm around Lucca's waist and pulled her close. He closed his eyes.

"Magus, are you trying to tell me something?"

The ground was rapidly getting farther away. The windshield glass crazed as a piece of airborne wood glanced off it.

Then with a jolt, the forest at the edge of the field was hurtling closer. Thrown clear of the twister, gravity seized the truck and pulled it towards the earth.

It was the supreme moment. Tightening his grip on the inventor, Magus shoved open the driver's door and jumped, pulling her with him. He cast his most potent barrier spell to repel windborne debris. As they fell from the sky, the wizard struggled to maintain the hastily cast barrier spell as trees, the remains of Taban's truck, and hundreds of smaller projectiles smashed into it. With the ground fast approaching, Magus funneled his magic power into stopping their several hundred mile per hour fall, succeeding with only inches to spare.

The inventor and the wizard landed in the middle of the forest. Some distance away, the remnants of the truck slammed into the earth like a meteor. Moments later, icy rain began to fall, soaking into their clothing as it froze. Temporarily drained of magical power by his exertions and by the cold, the wizard carried the disabled inventor bridal style, finally discovering a small, apparently abandoned cabin.

"We'll rest here," Magus said.

"Ok," Lucca replied weakly.

* * *

Lucca firmly decided that the broadcast had not gone well at all. 

"I hope the others are Ok."

"They've got Ayla with them. She's a lot more intelligent than one might think."

Lucca silently agreed. She was starting to have difficulty feeling her toes. Ayla's cave was probably warmer than this cabin. Her comrade's clothes were probably even dry.

The wind howled outside. A sudden pinging on the cabin roof alerted the wizard and the inventor to the fact that it was hailing again.

The wizard stood and picked up the skeletal chair in the corner. Lucca watched as the wizard took a deep breath, wrapped his arms around the chair, and with a grunt, shattered it into kindling. He gathered up the pieces, placed them in the fireplace, and then tried to open the fireplace's damper.

"Hmm. This fireplace doesn't seem to have a damper. Lucca, we need a fire before it gets much colder. Can you cast a fire spell?"

"There isn't much wood," Lucca pointed out. "The fire won't last long. We'll freeze when it goes out."

"I know. We'll freeze now if we wait much longer."

Gathering her magical energy, Lucca cast a low level fire spell, engulfing the wood in a small fireball. Initially, the fireball sputtered as it warmed the frozen wood, but as the wood heated up to ignition temperature, the fireball settled down into a small, gentle blaze.

Magus and Lucca sat down in front of the small fire. The warmth of the blaze slowly began to permeate through their frozen clothing, changing the ice into lukewarm meltwater. The fire crackled as an occasional drop of water fell down the chimney and evaporated, flashing into a tiny cloud of steam. Slowly, the cabin began to heat up.

With a rumbling sound, a miniature avalanche of snow rushed down the chimney and buried the fire. Originally a snowdrift atop the chimney, the heat of the fire had melted the frozen heap, and without a damper to stop its progress, the partly melted mass had proceeded down the chimney unhindered.

Loudly voicing several choice curses, the sorcerer tried to rescue the sputtering blaze before the melting ice drowned it. Unfortunately, the water had already soaked the dry wood: his efforts were in vain. Without the warming influence of a fire, the cabin started to cool down again.

Lucca shivered violently. Her clothing was soaking wet, but the warmth of her body would not let it refreeze. Instead, her clothing was wicking away her body heat, and she could feel herself becoming colder by the moment. Her teeth started chattering as Magus continued trying to restart the dead fire.

Finally, Magus accepted that restarting the fire was a lost cause. He sat down beside Lucca and wrapped his arms around himself, concentrating his formidable willpower into keeping warm.

"M-m-m-agus?"

"Yes, Lucca?"

"I'm f-f-freezing."

The wizard turned on Lucca's helmet light and aimed it at Lucca. The failing orange light highlighted Lucca's face, pale from lack of circulation, and her lips, purplish from oxygen deprivation. Magus groaned. Lucca's body was slowly shutting down in the intense cold.

"W-what's w-wrong?"

"Lucca, have you ever heard of the blanket scenario?"

"Y-your k-k-kidding."

"Only if we don't want to make it through the night."

Lucca was quiet for a moment. "We d-d-don't have a b-blanket."

"We have my cape."

Lucca paused momentarily. "W-w-what m-m-must we d-do?"

The batteries of the helmet light finally gave out, plunging the cabin into pitch darkness. The wizard tossed the now useless helmet away, saying, "strip to our underclothes and share warmth."

Magus heard the sound of wet cloth rustling, stood, and reluctantly responded in turn. He sat down on the floor and pulled the cape over his bare back, internally realizing that if they survived the night and were somehow caught, he was never going to hear the end of it. He was wearing nothing but his undershorts and his cape in the presence of a half-naked female.

Lucca's hand found his hand. Using it as a guide, she pulled her wounded body toward the wizard's.

"S-so w-what n-now, Magus?"

Magus 'hmmed.' The cape was big enough to only keep one person warm. Unless... sitting Indian style, Magus experimentally tried to wrap himself in the cape, and was pleased to find that the cape was wide enough to easily encircle him. "Lucca... if you... erm... sit in my lap, my cape is big enough for both of us."

"Ok," said the inventor.

Magus gulped as Lucca slid into his lap. Inappropriate images were coming unbidden to the wizard's mind. "I feel like such a pervert," he groaned. "Do you ever get that feeling that there's an entity out there purposefully shoving us into these situations?"

"Do you believe in fate, Magus?"

"Fate? Well, sometimes events occur in such a way that what will happen to a person is certain. Sort of like if a person tries to rob a police station, then he's fated to end up in jail: I guess that's fate to me. Or if someone tries to fight something he has no hope to defeat, he's going to die. But I don't like the idea of there being some sort of cosmic constant that says the universe will unfold a certain way. Then again, there are some things we may have to accept."

"And that constant would be?"

"There could be someone or something that sets up situations for people to go through. Or maybe it's just chance. I don't know."

"That'd make a great LuccaVision broadcast. Is there fate? Is there destiny? What's this world? Why? Why life?"

"Maybe it would."

"Maybe."

Magus sighed as he pulled the cape around them.

Lucca's voice, muffled by the cloth, asked, "why are you hugging me?"

"Because it's the only way to wrap this cape around the both of us," replied the wizard. Magus could feel his face burning. The girl was wearing only her bra and underpants. Her back was pressed against his stomach and chest, and his chin rested on the top of her head. "Good God, if Frog saw this... what are you doing?"

The inventor relaxed into his arms. "You're warm," said Lucca tiredly.

Magus swallowed. "Warm?"

"You smell nice," Lucca yawned, turned her head, and snuggled the side of her face into his chest. "Sleepy..."

"Hey! Don't fall asleep on me!"

Lucca did not respond. Magus heard the rhythm of her breathing slowly change, settling on the slow, quiet breaths of deep sleep.

Magus shook his head. "You know, sometimes you're more trouble than you're worth," the wizard chuckled and tightened his arms around her. "Sleep well, Lucca."

Within an hour, the wizard joined the inventor in sleep.

* * *

Mwhahaha! I think things are about to really start getting interesting... Anyhow, tell me how you liked it! (Does my blanket scenario count as a sin?) Only through your reviews can this author improve. Until next time, this is hyperdrive, signing off... 


	9. Wrestling with Chemistry!

Wrestling with Chemistry!  
© 2011 by hyperdrive

What can I say? Sometimes miracles do happen—like new chapters of _The Masadoom and Company_! I was thinking of splitting this chapter up-it's the longest chapter of the whole story so far, but considering how long it's been, you all deserved a good, uninterrupted tale. I hope you all enjoy this very belated chapter!

* * *

Crono stared out of the mouth of the cave at the swirling snow, shifting his orange bandana as the wind blew violently. Sighing heavily, he slowly turned towards his companions in the cave, his face drawn with worry and his eyes filled with uncertainty and fear. "Do you think they're safe? I'm beginning to think that this weather will never stop."

Just like Crono, Frog, Marle, and Robo appeared very anxious. Frog was nervously looking out into the blizzard, his hand playing upon the hilt of the Masamune. Marle looked pale and was sitting on a rock, fidgeting. Even Robo was alternating between pacing and looking out into the snow.

Of the group, only Ayla, who sat relaxed on the soft sand of the cave floor, seemed without worry. She spoke, saying, "Ayla know purple and blue hair. Both strong, smart. Safe."

"Ayla's right," Marle said, trying to sound cheerful. "I guess a tornado wouldn't be anything to Maggie. But what about your mom, Crono? The tornado got your house."

"She's okay. She was visiting some relatives in south Truce. But yes," Crono agreed, "if Magus made it, he would make sure Lucca did too." He frowned, not entirely convinced at his own words.

The cavewoman nodded and then smiled wryly. "Blue hair never let hurt purple hair. Will make strong babies."

"Pray that thou dost not speak such lunacy," Frog shuddered, "for Lady Lucca hath the sense not to fall prey to that wastrel!"

"Ayla lead Ioka. Ayla see many like them. They not know yet." The cavewoman nodded again with considerable self-assuredness. "Ayla know what blue hair and purple hair need. Need pri-vass-see. Need alone time. Make strong babies, you see."

Frog ribbit-ed. "Perish the thought of breath in that wastrel's lungs, let alone that!"

Ayla said nothing but continued smiling. Frog shivered and Marle giggled. Crono scratched his head. While he wasn't certain that it was romance, Ayla had definitely touched upon something unusual. There was something very curious about how the conceited wizard was helping with Lucca's broadcasts. While Magus's thirst for revenge had made it obvious why he had helped in the quest against Lavos, it was much less obvious why he was still helping them now.

Crono was about to speak when Ayla suddenly scrambled to her feet and bolted to the mouth of the cave, Robo following close behind. She cupped her hands behind her ears for a moment and then frowned. "Ayla think hear people. Ayla wrong."

"No, it was something," said Robo. "There is a 65% chance that it was a shout in the distance."

"Really? I hope it was, because then we'd be rescued, and we'd go home and have chocolate cake and hot chocolate and—"

"Robo needs to hear, honey," Crono interrupted.

Marle fell silent. For several seconds, all that was heard was the sound of the wind outside and the slow dripping of water echoing from the depths of the cave. After a few more seconds, the sound of excited breathing, coming in small hushed puffs, joined the sounds of nature. No one spoke; all ears (or microphones, in Robo's case) were concentrated on pulling the faintest strains of voice from the snowstorm.

"Ayla was correct," Robo confirmed. "There are voices in the distance."

"I can't hear anything."

"Prithee Sir Crono, Lady Ayla and Sir Robo's hearing mayhap stronger than our own," Frog suggested. He paused and blinked. "Indeed! Verily, many people doth approach! I too hear."

Crono grinned. He could hear the shouting now as well. The teenage swordsman squinted as he surveyed the endless, thick snow falling before them, searching for anything vaguely resembling a person.

Robo pointed into the whiteness. "There they are."

A dark shape appeared in the distance, resolving slowly into a small crowd. As the crowd grew closer still, shouts of "Lucca! Frog! Crono! Ayla! Magus! Robo! Marle!" rose above the howling wind.

"A search party!" Marle shouted.

The Crono Trigger crew emerged from the cave, running towards their rescuers. As they closed on the crowd, Taban, Lara, Crono's mother, and a man in sunglasses and baggy clothes appeared at the lead, with several dozen people following.

"Oh, thank God you're all safe!" said Taban.

Crono's mom wrapped her son in an enormous embrace.

Marle's eyes widened as the man in baggy clothes hugged her. "Don't shout 'Daddy!' please," the camouflaged King Guardia whispered. "Thank goodness you're safe."

The crowd came forth, eager to meet the Crono Trigger crew. "DADDY!" Marle shouted, just realizing that the disguised man hugging her was actually her father. Thankfully, the princess's indiscretion was lost amongst the din of the the crowd. Most of them were people Crono and his friends had never met before, eager people waiting to hug them and shake their hands. Some of them had brought warm clothes, clothes that Crono and his friends happily accepted. Some of them asked for autographs. Others just wanted to talk and ask questions.

Crono found himself lost under all of the attention; finally, he called out "Taban, who are these people?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the middle aged inventor replied, "They're fans. After the broadcast ended, they came over to help us look for you!"

"Oh!" gasped Crono. "It is a pleasure to meet you all!" For a few moments, Crono and his friends mingled with the crowd, enthusiastic to meet their fans. Then, a worried shout rang out.

Desperately Lara cried, "Where's my Lucca? And Magus?"

"Milady, the wastrel took Lady Lucca in the truck and fled," Frog replied. "He hath not returned."

"Then the search is not over," declared Taban. "We will find them yet!"

The crowd roared in agreement. With that, the Crono Trigger crew and the search party left, trudging through the snow in the last direction the truck had gone.

* * *

Lucca winced as she slowly opened her eyes. All that she saw was darkness and even as her eyes adjusted to the dimness, the darkness remained. Still tired and groggy, she tried to recall where she was. She felt very warm and quite safe, but her ankle hurt, occasionally sending small pangs of pain to her sleepy brain. She began to get up, but stopped as she felt a strong pair of arms around her naked stomach. She inhaled a deep breath, her nose filling with the scents of the abandoned cabin and her warm compatriot. She blushed as she realized that she was sitting in Magus's lap. His arms were still tightly around her, and his large cape was still over them, protecting them from the cold air outside. The teenage inventor barely stifled a giggle as she realized that Magus's chin was resting on her head. Then, much to her consternation and confusion, a small thrill ran up her back as she realized that they were both very nearly naked. Lucca stiffened for a moment, then slowly leaned back into the wizard's chest. She could feel his muscles on her bare skin, and his scent enveloped her. His arms tightened slightly around her. It was undeniable: something about this situation seemed very right. Against her better judgment, Lucca found herself almost wishing that this moment would never end, so warm and comfortable she felt.

"You're awake?" Magus asked.

"Yes," said Lucca. She found herself smiling. His voice was quiet and calming, completely devoid of its usual arrogance and superiority. "I'm awake."

"How is your ankle feeling?"

"Much better. It still hurts a little, though."

"That's alright. You don't need to stand up yet."

"Good." Lucca blushed, embarrassed. "I-I-I, um, I-er-m- mean that I don't mean to impo—"

"It's okay, Lucca. Just relax. Last night took a lot out of you."

"I don't want to impose."

"You aren't imposing. Besides, it's still very cold in here. You wouldn't want to get up yet."

"Can't you use your magic to heat the cabin up a little?"

"No, no, not yet," the wizard replied quickly.

Lucca couldn't help but think that something sounded strange about the wizard's reply. Did he actually want to keep holding her—no, he was probably just cold himself. After all, Lucca reflected, he was closer to the cold than she was. For a few moments, Lucca was lost in thought. Then, she shifted uncomfortably in the wizard's lap. She slowly had begun to realize that something solid was pressing against her. "Magus, is something pressing against me?"

"Er, where would that something be pressing against you?"

Lucca replied quietly, "My bottom."

"Ah, yes, Lucca, there is something there," said the wizard.

"Would you min—oh!" The inventor's eyes opened wide and she gasped as she realized exactly what was pressing against her. She swallowed, suddenly feeling very strange. Her thighs seemed very hot. Her chest seemed to ache slightly.

Magus coughed, almost nervously.

Lucca began, "Err."

"Ah," Magus continued.

"Um—so is that a pipe in your undershorts or are you just glad to see me?" Lucca asked. She could feel her face burning with embarrassment.

"Mere biological reaction," Magus said promptly, "it's just a simple biological reaction. Nothing more."

"Yes, it is." Lucca found herself frowning. She almost thought that some small part of herself actually liked the situation she was in. But as a good scientist, she thought, she was immune to such petty animal urges.

Ignoring what she was feeling, Lucca relaxed into Magus's chest and said, "So, when do you think we'll be able to leave the cabin?"

"Probably in a few hours. We should have our magic back by then, so we'll be able to dry our clothes and get help."

* * *

Crono shook his head. For almost an hour they had been trudging through the snow. For almost as long, Frog had ranted about Magus, Marle had yearned for various caffeinated beverages, and Taban and Lara had worried over the fate of the wizard and their daughter. Fortunately, it had finally stopped snowing, and the sun had come out. Moreover, the entourage of fans had stayed with them and had continued searching; Crono was certain that their thirty-strong group would eventually find the missing pair.

"You know, I bet that Magus and Lucca drove back to her house." Marle was beginning to shake from caffeine withdrawal and was becoming a little grumpy. "They're probably drinking hot chocolate right now."

"Lady Marle, dost thou not see? Lady Lucca wouldst not suffer to leave without seeking us out," Frog said. "And verily, that wastrel wouldst not waste a chance to feign heroism, whilst rubbing his foul villainy in our faces."

"But I want hot chocolate. It's so tasty and flavorful and warm and good, and when you put marshmallows in it, it's sooo delicious!"

"Please be quiet, Marle! We might not hear them if they're hurt," said Taban.

Lara cried out. "My poor Lucca!"

Ayla tried to comfort Lara. "No sad! Ayla help," she said gently. "We rescue blue hair and purple hair! They make strong babies! You see."

Lara smiled faintly as the mention of Magus and Lucca having children. Several of the fans immediately sighed. Another made a strange, high-pitched "squee" noise. One said, "Oh, wouldn't that be sooo cute?" Yet another smiled broadly, and said something about how happy his LuccaVision fan fiction club would be.

Frog moaned, scandalized, and made a choking sound. "Pray it does not come to that."

Ayla abruptly dropped to all fours and began running. Crono found himself following as fast as he could, with the rest of the group hot on his heels, following the cavewoman's lead. Now Crono could see that there was something glinting at the edge of the forest. For a moment, everyone slowed as they clambered over a recently fallen tree.

The red-haired swordsman felt his heart in his mouth as he arrived at the scene just behind Ayla. He looked around; the tornado had definitely left its mark here, as the ground was littered with broken trees and fallen debris. In the middle of the devastation, the twisted carcass of Taban's truck stood in the middle of a shallow depression, half-buried upside down in the new-fallen snow. Lara burst into tears. Fearing the worst, everyone gathered around the wreckage.

"They must have gotten caught by the tornado," said Marle, her voice thin and choked. "Poor, poor Lucca! Poor Magus!"

"To die so young, with such a craven fool," Frog said. He bowed his head. "'Tis a fate most dread."

Ayla, Taban, and Lara had started frantically digging, trying to get the wreckage out of the snow. One of the fans, his face twisted with sorrow, asked the three diggers to step aside. "Let's lift this thing!" he shouted to the rest of the fans, and in a few moments, the entire truck had been pulled from the snow and turned right-side up. Everyone cheered to see that the inside of the crushed vehicle was empty, except for Lara, who only started crying harder.

"Lady Lara, thou shouldst not cry," Frog said. "Verily, I am certain: they are alive."

"My baby is dead," Lara sobbed, inconsolable.

Taban put his arms around his wife and hugged her tightly. To Frog he said, "How do you know?"

"As I said to Lady Marle, that foul villain wouldst not miss a chance to feign heroism. I have heard the wise say that were Magus dead, mine curse would be lifted and Frog I should no more be, but Glenn. I remain Frog. Magus lives, and so does Lucca."

"Try to feel better, Lara," Crono comforted. "Magus wouldn't have abandoned Lucca."

Lara looked a little happier.

"But where would they have gone?" asked Taban. "They would have needed shelter from a storm like that, and if they didn't use the truck, then where are they?"

One of the fans spoke up. "This might be a long shot," she said, "but I used to come here when I was little. My Grandfather had a cabin nearby. There isn't really any other shelter in this area, so they might be there."

"Alright," said Crono. "Lead the way."

* * *

Lucca woke to a quiet hissing sound. She was still in Magus's lap, but his arms were no longer clasped around her. The wizard's cape, which had been pulled tightly around them not long before, now seemed to hang loosely over her. Magus was whispering something like a fire magic incantation and the hissing was increasing in volume.

"Magus, what are you doing?"

"Oh, you're awake? I'm drying our clothes."

Lucca pushed the cape away from herself. Their clothes were spread out on the cabin floor and steam was hissing from them, rising in damp white clouds in the cool air. The air was still quite cold, but the cabin was finally warming up. A warm fire was crackling in the fireplace and the sun was streaming in through the cabin's dingy window.

"I didn't go back to sleep like you did," Magus explained. "My magic returned a while ago, so I healed your leg, got the fire going, and now I'm getting the clothes dried. Crono and the others will be here in a little while."

"They're okay? How do you know?"

"Just a guess. I'm sure Ayla's cave kept them safe and if they're looking for us, they'll be here soon. Your clothes are ready, by the way. I started drying yours first."

Lucca nodded.

"Do you need any help getting dressed? It's been a long time since I healed other people, so I'm not sure if your ankle is ready for walking."

Lucca slowly stood up, gingerly testing her formerly twisted ankle. There was no real pain, so she walked over to her clothes on the cabin floor and began pulling them on, leaving her helmet off as she remembered that its batteries were dead. Once she was dressed, she turned to face Magus, saying "No, it seems fine. Hey, is something wrong?"

"I didn't look!" the wizard said quickly. His eyes were staring at the floor as the tips of his ears reddened.

"What?"

"I wasn't expecting you to just stand up like that," Magus sounded oddly hoarse.

"Oh!" Now it was Lucca's turn to blush. She hadn't even thought about the wizard being there when she had gotten dressed. She also had a feeling that despite his words to the contrary Magus had been watching her dress. "Y'like what you saw?" she teased.

"Ye—no! I didn't see anything, woman!" The wizard jumped to his feet, his eyes flashing. "I didn't see anything, like I told you! You were in your bra and panties anyway, so it's not like—" Magus trailed off and genuinely blushed.

Lucca was blushing as well. The wizard was standing in nothing but his underpants himself. "I guess this makes us almost even," she heard herself say.

The warlock prince stalked over to his still-damp clothes and pulled them on. He was nearly dressed in his usual attire and was just pulling on his gloves when he froze. "What do you mean, almost?"

Lucca found herself blushing even more fiercely. She was stammering. "Y-y-you've s-s-seen m-me und-d-d… without c-cl… n-n-nak—"

One of Magus's usual smirks appeared on his face. "I've seen you naked? I suppose you want me to return the favor. Well, you'll just have to settle for your fantasies, woman." The usual pompous aloofness had returned to the egoistical sorcerer's voice.

Lucca's embarrassment left her as she felt herself becoming angry. Then she realized that the wizard was just trying to push her buttons. Instead of becoming riled, she cackled.

Magus raised his eyebrows, then tried again. "What's wrong? Just don't think you can live without a glimpse, wench?"

Lucca almost laughed. She had the wizard pegged. He was just trying to get a rise out of her. She grinned wickedly and walked right up to the wizard, getting as close to him as she could. "_I_ can live without a glimpse," she said pointedly. She could sense the wizard's bluster faltering as he shifted slightly on his legs. She continued. "But _you _can't, not after what you saw. I could feel your eyes on my behind when I was getting dressed, O Great Magus!"

Lucca spun around and marched to the cabin window-or would have, had the wizard not caught her arm and spun her back around to face him. "You play a very dangerous game, woman," he growled.

Some part of the back of her mind felt like a cornered rabbit, so fierce was the look upon the wizard's face. Fear almost won before determination set in. "He just wants to see you cower. He wants to control the situation, and you're not letting him," Lucca thought. She steeled herself, determined not to play into the mage's self-centered desires. "I play my games to win, Maggie," she retorted.

"Maggie?" The wizard sputtered, but quickly recovered. "I always win my wars." Magus's other hand grabbed her other arm, holding her tightly. "You should learn your place, wench," he growled again.

The inventor laughed sinisterly. "You're right. You've taught me my place very, very well."

"That's right…" he trailed off. He blinked confusedly at her laughter, even as he held her tightly and tried to scowl more ferociously.

Lucca returned his look with just as much zeal and grabbed his arms just as he was grasping hers. "My place is first place. _That_ is my place. Who was it who got defeated by a plunger? This is a tool worthy of me! Whooped at Wormholes and Rockets? Beat that, woman! Had his ass kicked by a girl? Thou wast beaten by _this _lady, Magus!"

"Impudent wench!" the conceited sorcerer shouted. "You dare taunt Magus! Friendship can protect you only so much from the lessons I can teach!"

Lucca was laughing, even as Magus suddenly pulled her even closer to him. There was something extremely fun about pushing the wizard's buttons, and she knew she was doing it very well. "There are no lessons you can teach me that I don't already kn—"

For a moment, all that Lucca realized was that she had stopped talking. Her voice had been taken from her. She felt her eyes widening as she began to realize that something very odd was happening. Suddenly, reality dawned on her. Magus's lips were upon her own in a crushing kiss. This understanding made her legs jelly, her mind a blank slate, her body fire. Her eyes were closed now as she pulled her grasp on the warlock tighter, their kiss closer. Rational thought had left the inventor's mind completely. One of Magus's hands was in her hair. It was her first real kiss, and as it deepened, she moaned. Magus's tongue was playing with her own, at first demanding, then gently. The aggressive kiss had become something wholly different. Magus's hand was running gently through her hair, as if he was savoring this moment. His other arm was around the small of her back, and his tight pull on her had become gentle, yet claiming.

They pulled away from each other slowly. The fierce look upon Magus's face was gone. His gloved hand touched his parted lips. He was astonished. "I kissed you," he whispered. "You're hugging me."

Lucca's arms had somehow found their way around the wizard. She felt herself pulling him close again as she laid her head against his chest. She could hear the sorcerer's heart pounding. His hand was still running through her hair. Getting the upper hand in their argument had been completely forgotten as she sighed.

"You're holding me," Magus said again, his voice barely audible. "I kissed you."

"Yeah," Lucca agreed. She was smiling.

"This… cannot be."

"It is."

"It… is?"

Lucca nodded.

Magus spoke slowly, uncertainly. "What does this mean? I don't… understand."

"I don't know," Lucca whispered. "I've never been kissed before."

"Neither have I."

For a moment, nothing was said. The inventor and the warlock prince stood in the middle of the cabin, her arms around him and one of his hands in her hair.

"Perhaps," Lucca suggested at length, "we should try again?"

They were about to kiss again when Magus's ears suddenly perked up. "Our rescuers have arrived."

Lucca put on her helmet while Magus adjusted his shirt. Fully dressed, they opened the cabin door. Immediately, Ayla jumped through the open door, landing on her hands and feet like a cat. Standing, she looked at Magus, then at Lucca, and clapped her hands. "Ayla knows!"

"Ayla, we're so glad to see—" Lucca started, when the rest of the search party arrived. Amidst the cheers of the crowd, she found herself in a crushing hug from Lara.

"My baby's alright!" Lara sobbed.

"Of course she is, woman," Magus said. "I saved her."

"See? Thou seest that I am correct? The foul fiend claims to have resc—"

"Lucca!" Taban wrapped his arms around his wife and daughter, hugging them tightly against himself. "God, we thought we'd lost you when we saw the truck! How did you survive that?"

"Magus saved me," Lucca said.

"Foul beast, what hast thou done to her!" Frog roared.

"Froggie, I didn't do a thing to her. I saved her life."

"Thou art as craven a knave as I believed! Didst I not say this creature would feign heroism?"

The little cabin had become very full by now with the Crono Trigger crew, Lucca's parents, Crono's mom, the disguised King Guardia, and many LuccaVision fans. Everyone was overjoyed to see that Lucca and Magus were alright, save Frog, who while overjoyed at Lucca's survival, seemed far less happy to see that Magus had also lived.

"Who are all these people?" Lucca finally asked. She was rather overwhelmed by all of the people who had come to rescue her and Magus.

"They're your fans, Lucca," said Taban. "They were so worried when they saw what happened in that last broadcast that they insisted on helping us find you guys."

Lara pointed out one of the fans in particular to the stunned inventor. "We wouldn't have even known this cabin was here, if not for this girl!"

Lucca, still rather shocked, thanked the girl profusely.

Little was said on the way back to Truce; though the snow had stopped, it was still chilly and the trek back to Truce was relatively long. Finally, as the afternoon was drawing to a close, the group crossed the bridge back to the island where Lucca's house was and everyone gathered in the living room, where Lara served a large pot of hot chocolate. There, Lucca and the rest of the Crono Trigger crew recounted how the tornado had sneaked upon them.

"In retrospect, it does strike me as hard to explain how a mile wide twister can sneak," Crono admitted as they told the story. "But sneak it did, because it was almost on us by time Ayla got our attention."

Ayla and Robo explained what had happened after they had separated from Magus and Lucca. Finally, Lucca explained how the truck had gotten caught in the tornado, and how Magus had rescued her and found the cabin. She was about to go on, when Magus interrupted.

"Yes, and then I started a fire and bandaged Lucca's foot," said the wizard. "Once morning came and my magic returned, I healed her and we waited for the snow to stop. And that's when you all came and found us." Magus nodded, evidently satisfied with his version of what had happened. He began taking a long sip of his hot chocolate.

"Blue hair," Ayla was smiling crookedly, "Ayla know more happen!"

Magus choked on his drink. Lucca felt herself beginning to blush. A loud "squee" sound came from a number of fans as Ayla continued, saying "See? Blue hair and purple hair need pri-vass-ee."

"Lady Ayla, prithee cease thy spreading of such falsehood!" Frog said loudly, his voice strangled. "And as for this dastardly wizard, let it be known that he feigns heroism!"

The story of the tornado being done, the fans clustered around the LuccaVision stars, asking questions, requesting autographs, and talking about their favorite moments of LuccaVision shows. Everyone found themselves busy with their new-found friends.

Crono very quickly became very comfortable with the attention. As he signed autographs, he told stories of his adventures with the LuccaVision and how he had single-handedly started a new fashion craze. Marle sat nearby, talking about her position as princess of Guardia as well as her involvement in LuccaVision. "Frog started it all by giving Magus bunny ears!" she claimed mysteriously in response to a question on why Lucca had invented LuccaVision.

Ayla was being asked if she had any connection to the circus and if she was considering going back. Moreover, many fans wanted to know what her perspectives on Magus and Lucca were. Robo was helping her understand the crowd's rapid-fire questions and helping to translate her answers. There was little he could do to dissuade the excitement of the fans when Ayla declared, "Blue hair strange with purple hair. Ayla know more happen then speak they!"

Frog and Magus seemed to be on worse terms than usual. The amphibian knight was clearly displeased at how much positive attention the wizard was getting from the crowd, and nothing could dissuade him from his belief that Magus was playing the crowd for fools with his claim that he had saved Lucca. "Oh, those tragic hours trapped in those confines with that cretin! Lady Lucca's mind art corrupted by that fiend!" he moaned.

The fiend himself was loving the attention. Such crowds and such curiosity about him reminded him of faint memories of when he was called Janus, the Prince of Zeal, and often was at the center of balls and galas. Not as pleasing to him was many fans's certainty that "something" definitely existed between him and Lucca.

"In Broadcast 1, Lucca tried to prevent the Masadoom malfunction," pointed out one fan. "You know, 'This is a tool worthy of me?'"

"Yes," Magus frowned, already not liking where this line of reasoning was going.

"And in Broadcast 2, you and Lucca played a wizard and an inventor who fell in love. Then in Broadcast 3, you weren't there, but I have heard rumors that there was a fight between you and Lucca, right?"

"Woman, ask your question."

The fan-girl was not deterred. Any Magus fan-girl knew that such brusqueness came with the territory. "In Broadcast 4, you rescued Lucca and everyone else from jail, and was her partner on the broadcast. Then on Broadcast 5, you looked so disturbed when Ms. Toddsley was flirting with you, and in last night's broadcast, you and Lucca were together in the camera truck—and I don't think I need to mention that you rescued her! Are you saying that there's nothing going on between you two?"

"Happenstance, nothing more," Magus said. "It was pure chance that I was a wizard in _Shades of Flame_, the rumor is false that me and Lucca had a fight, an—"

"The fiend deceives! Maggie dost needeth his eyepatch, for Lady Lucca didst beat him for his vile perversion," Frog interjected.

The fan-girl looked delighted. Magus scowled. "Next question!"

"So tell us all about your night with Lucca! Ayla says she knows something happened!"

"Grrrrrr…"

Lucca herself had declined most of the questions about what had happened the night before, saying that she had slept through most of it. She was answering questions about the technical side of LuccaVision and about the invention and challenges of LuccaVision almost robotically while she thought. The teenage inventor was still in a state of shock over what had transpired over the past day. She had gone from being a tornado chaser to being chased and caught by a tornado. She had survived, courtesy of the most arrogant, pompous jerk she knew. That same jerk had carried her for hours through rain, ice, and snow before keeping her alive through the night. She knew that he could have abandoned her at any time, yet he had stayed with her. Lucca's hand went to her lips subconsciously. Just a few hours before, he had kissed her—her first kiss. Now he was denying that anything of that sort had occurred at all.

Lucca snorted. She had heard about about how hormones could take over the mind and make one abandon reason. She suddenly felt almost ashamed to be dwelling on this when Magus clearly was not. In fact, that was probably exactly why Magus wasn't talking about it—he had already defeated the hormones that Lucca, even now, was struggling with.

"Sometimes I wish I could be a little more like Magus," she murmured. The man had incredible willpower, willpower that she suddenly felt like she lacked.

"What? Why do you wish you were more like Magus?" asked a fan.

Lucca's mind came back to her. She had been telling him about how she had first diagrammed the circuits for a LuccaVision camera. Quickly she said, "Magus has an excellent mind for circuit design."

"Yes, you mentioned how he has helped you with trans-stators?"

"Transistors," she corrected, and the fan moved on, satisfied.

By this time, it was becoming late. The shadows were lengthening on the snow outside, and people were beginning to leave for their homes. Lucca turned her eyes back towards Magus, who was across the room talking to another fan. He seemed very preoccupied with whatever they were talking about.

"Ms. Ashtear, what do you think your next broadcast will be?"

"Wha—" Lucca started, and then she froze as something in her mind clicked. She knew the accented voice that had just spoken. As she looked away from Magus to the person asking the question, she knew the face, a face she had seen and imagined so many times. "Doctor Ernst von Heinrich!" she squeaked.

"I see that my reputation precedes me," said the famed scientist. He reached out his hand. Lucca jumped up and seized it.

"Doctor von Heinrich, it is such an honor," Lucca spouted as she began shaking his hand. Still shaking it, she kept gushing, saying "I am such a fan of your work! I have read every one of your papers, from your bachelor's capstone paper, _Natural Principals of Gravitational Optics_ to your most recent work, _Fourth Dimensional Space-time Manifolds and the Potential for Orbital Vehicular Flight_. Oh, to imagine you in my house! You're in my house! I know every word you have published! I once shadowed at one of the peer review boards for your book _The Case for High-Thrust Immediate Mixture Fuel-Oxidizer Reaction Engines and Space_! It was such magnificent work! Are you still researching hypergolic fuel mixtures, or are you working on developing an electrolysis of water system for extraction of oxygen and hydrogen? Has the Royal Scientific League considered my request for a re-opening of inquiry into my paper _The Telepod: Gateway to Time_? I'm so sorry I submitted that paper first, I know I should have lead up to it with simpler research, but time travel has so few references and—"

Lucca only stopped babbling when Doctor von Heinrich wrested his hand from her own. "I am glad to see how enthusiastic you are about my work," the Doctor said, rubbing his hand. "So, are these other people the so-called heroes who saved the world?"

"Yes, some of them are," said Lucca. "They did save the world!"

"Ahm, yes," said the Doctor.

"Doctor von Heinrich?" Taban sprinted across the room. "THE Doctor von Heinrich, in my house? It is!"

"Taban Ashtear," the Doctor said. Taban snatched the scientist's hand and began shaking it, and would have gone on shaking it had von Heinrich not pulled his hand back, saying, "No thank you, I have already had one Ashtear handshake today."

"Here to re-evaluate my daughter's rejection from the Royal Scientific League? Well evaluate no farther, because my daughter is the sharpest girl in the world. Sharper than her old man, even!"

"That would not be a surprise. I am here to offer Lucca an invitation to demonstrate LuccaVision to the Royal Scientific League symposium in three days. Should that go well, we plan to re-evaluate her rejection from the League." The Doctor handed her a letter, which the inventor slipped into one of her pants pockets.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Lucca cried. "I don't know how to thank you enough, Doctor von Heinrich! It has been my dream to join the Royal Scientific League all my life! I'll do anything to thank you!"

"Anything?" said von Heinrich, raising an eyebrow.

"Anything within scientific possibility!" Lucca bubbled. "An invitation! To the Royal Scientific League symposium!"

"That's my girl!" Taban bellowed.

Doctor von Heinrich left. Soon afterward, the Ashtear residence was empty, save the Crono Trigger crew, Taban, Lara, Crono's mother, and the still-disguised King Guardia. Marle offered Crono and his mother a place to stay at the castle until they had a new house. At that, Robo offered to start rebuilding their home, an offer Crono's mother happily and humbly accepted. Marle, Ayla, Crono, Robo, and Frog agreed to meet again in the morning and then they left with King Guardia and Crono's mother.

* * *

Lucca had just finished saying her good-byes when the lights of the Ashtear residence went out. Taban emerged from one of the hallways, saying that a tree must have fallen on the power lines under the weight of the snow. Lara agreed, then groaned, saying that all of the food in the refrigerator would certainly go bad.

"How can we help?" asked Lucca.

"Just go ahead and eat without us," said Taban. "You and Magus have been through so much these past few days. I have a generator in the shed that needs some repairs, and your mother can help. Go ahead and have dinner."

"Really, we insist," said Lara. "Besides, it's been a while since your Dad and I worked on an invention together. And I would feel horrible if you and Magus didn't get a hot meal after all you two have been through today!"

With that, the elder Ashtears bundled up in coats and went outside. Lucca and Magus shrugged and went into the dining room, where they found dinner waiting. Upon a white-sheeted table, four plates of the Ashtear's finest china were set with Lara's best silverware. Ruddy red Medinan wine was set out in crystal goblets. A large dish of lasagna and a bowl of spaghetti with a parsley and garlic pesto sauce were in the middle of the table, as well as a bowl of figs, and a plate of asparagus. A dark chocolate cake drizzled liberally with fudge was under a glass cover for desert. Three silver candelabras were set and lit, lighting the room.

"Wow. Mom and Dad must be really glad we're okay. I don't ever remember us having such a fancy meal."

The two sat down and began to eat. Lucca watched as Magus enjoyed a fig, and began to eat her asparagus. She found herself blushing for some reason, though she did not understand why. As she was beginning a slice of lasagna and took a sip of her wine, she couldn't help but think back to the cabin, Magus raging as she was pushing his buttons, and then… Lucca looked up from her food, and was surprised to see that Magus was looking back at her. His face was slightly reddened. Was it possible that he was thinking the same thing she was?

Almost as if he was reading her mind, Magus spoke. "What happened this morning… I cannot explain. When I… we… kissed, there was… something… very right about it."

Lucca swallowed. She felt very strange again; her stomach was shaking and knotting up, as if worried. Was this what people meant by "butterflies in one's stomach?" "I u-understand. There was something… right about it."

"I didn't say anything earlier because… I don't know what that was," the wizard admitted. "I guess it was a lesson I wasn't qualified to teach."

Lucca almost laughed. "I guess not." More soberly, she said, "Magus, about what happened…"

"Yes?"

"Was it… perhaps… lo—"

"Don't say it," Magus whispered.

"Why?"

The wizard answered with silence.

"Magus, you know you can trust me. We made a deal, remember? I'm your friend, and I promise to never betray you. You can share this with me."

Magus seemed to consider her words for a moment. "Perhaps it is that in you, I see an equal," he said finally.

"What?"

"Once we say the word, we can never go back," Magus said. "In our time together, I have learned that your frie—our friends—are not like other people. And you are not like your friends. I can show something of myself to your friends that I could not show anyone else, and I can talk of things with you that no one else, not even your friends, could understand. You carry yourself like… like I am not tainted."

"I don't judge you on your past. I don't think you were completely right in what you did, but I think you felt you were doing what was right at the tim—"

"I don't want to lose this," the once-prince of Zeal said suddenly, and for a moment, he seemed very small and very vulnerable, like a child dropped amongst monsters. "I have seen how that one word destroys people. I could do nothing for any of them. I have felt it."

"Schala," Lucca murmured, then wished she had not.

"And others," Magus said.

"We don't have to call it anything. Perhaps it was a fluke," Lucca said. "Whatever it was, I am your friend."

"I-I don't think it was a fluke," Magus admitted.

"Whatever it was," Lucca said.

The two continued eating. Finally, Magus said, "So, who was that loser you were talking to earlier? The one with the funny accent?"

Lucca looked up, aghast. "Don't you know?"

"It seems unlikely I would ask if I knew, woman."

"That was Doctor Ernst von Heinrich! The greatest mind in all the world-well, second greatest, after Melchior, of course."

"Don't you mean fourth greatest?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're assuming he's smart at all," scoffed Magus, "If I ranked the brains of Guardia, Melchior would win, of course. I come in at number two and you come in at three. That moron can't be more than number four."

"Moron!" Lucca exclaimed. "He is our finest mind! He's the head of the Royal Scientific League!"

"Unqualified is what he is. I can tell his kind a mile off. He's not a good sort, and certainly not much of a scientist, considering how he has pooh-poohed LuccaVision."

"He wrote the textbook on science education!" Lucca pointed out. She was seeing red. Doctor von Heinrich was beyond reproach. His reputation was sterling, and his work had been fruitful and at the cutting edge of science. "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"My are we defensive now," Magus jeered. He got up from his chair, and stood over Lucca, talking down to her. "Do I detect the little stings of romance?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lucca was livid as she rose to her tip-toes to stand closer to the warlock prince's height. "What have you contributed to science in your life, you egoistical jerk?"

"More than you will ever know just by giving you transistors alone." Magus retorted, cackling. "See Robo? Ask him one day if he remembers. I'd bet you money that I'm his great-grandpa. You're probably his distant grandma and you don't even know it."

"You have no right to pick on Doctor von Heinrich like that," Lucca reiterated, folding her arms.

"My my, I do tink wittle Wucca has a wittle crushy-wushy here!" In a high falsetto, Magus said "I'll do _anything _to thank you!"

"You can't tell me what to do and how to feel! He's done so much for human understanding that he deserves anything he wants!"

"You have a lot to learn, woman." The wizard moved closer to her as his voice raised. "You don't understand people like I do."

"You are so insufferable!" Lucca roared. "Doctor von Heinrich is a hero!" She gasped. "Y-you're jealous," she said, surprised.

"Just because I kissed you doesn't mean anything," Magus countered loudly. "I just don't want you to come blubbering to me when you make a stupid female mista—I didn't mean to make it see—"

"How can you say it didn't mean anything!" Lucca shouted. "I don't know what it was, and maybe now it means nothing to you, but it meant something to me!"

"Lucca, I shouldn't ha—"

"Just shut up! I should have known. I'm just another pawn in one of your schemes, another toy for your amusement, aren't I?" Lucca shrieked. With that, the inventor turned and stalked out of the room, shouting "And don't you dare come after me!"

"Fine! Have your little pity party, woman!" Magus boomed in return. He sat down again at the table, and put a large helping of spaghetti in his plate, and went back to eating. Taban and Lara came in later, quietly, and went to bed. Magus stayed up, staring at the candelabras as the candles slowly winked out, one by one, until finally, the room was plunged into darkness.

* * *

Lucca awoke, groggy and exhausted. She felt terrible. Sleep had eluded her almost the entire night as she replayed her fight with Magus over and over again in her mind. She felt so foolish, dwelling on their argument, even as her scientific mind begged her to just let it go and accept sleep. After all, why should she have expected different from the conceited wizard? Frog had known him far longer than she, though perhaps not as directly, and the knight had been right all along. She felt ashamed to her core that she had allowed herself to be used to make the dark wizard look better.

Slowly, she arose from her bed. Soon, her friends would be here and they would start planning the next broadcast.

Suddenly, the reality of the night before sunk in. She hadn't changed her clothes, and there was something in the right-side pocket of her pants. She produced it and read it quickly, her heart fluttering. It had been no dream! In her hand was an invitation to demonstrate LuccaVision to the Royal Scientific League!

Lucca flew down the stairs to the living room, and quickly opened a cupboard, fetching several flasks and a number of bottles of chemicals. She set the chemicals out on the table, replaced the batteries in her helmet, sat down on the couch and began putting together experimental procedures, talking as she did so, a recorder in her helmet capturing her rapid flow of ideas.

"Lucca, would you like any breakfast?" asked Taban. He had emerged from the hallway leading to the kitchen.

"Nope! Got to get ready for this broadcast!"

Taban disappeared. A few moments later, a plate of waffles and sausage, as well as a glass of orange juice, was placed on an empty part of the table. "Taban said you wanted this," said a tired voice.

Two pairs of darkened, sunken, exhausted eyes met. Magus sat down stiffly and asked if there was anything he could do.

"No, there isn't." Lucca continued working, doing her best to ignore the wizard sitting down on the loveseat across from her. She frowned. The reaction she was trying to do was stubbornly refusing to work. She started again, pouring a small amount of adipoyl chloride in methylene chloride solution into a beaker of hexamethylenediamine and stirring. Dipping a glass rod into the flask, she frowned. The synthesis of nylon wasn't working at all.

As she started over, Magus got up and left the room. A few moments later, he returned and sat down, picking up the chemical bottles. He gently poured a little of one bottle into a beaker and then a little of the other bottle into the same beaker. "Try this."

This time, when Lucca dipped the glass rod into the flask, she was able to slowly pull out a long strand of pinkish whitish material. "I asked why you seemed to be having trouble. Taban suggested that was the problem," Magus said. "You don't want to mix it, just slowly pour one on the other."

"Ah."

"Listen," the wizard sighed heavily. "I said some things last night that… were not true. You should forgive me, woman."

"I have a name, Magus."

"I am sorry. You should forgive me, Lucca."

Lucca looked up, her eyes meeting the warlock's. "I don't have to do anything for you," she snapped.

"I said sorry."

"You said I didn't mean anything to you," Lucca returned.

Magus shifted uncomfortably.

A knocking at the door signaled that the others had begun to arrive. As Lucca got up to open it, Magus caught her arm.

"Let me go," she hissed.

"T-Tell me how I can make this up to you. Please."

Lucca almost stumbled with surprise at the "please." The look in his eyes was no lie. Magus, the terror of Guardia, the most insufferable, self-important jerk she had ever met, was actually apologetic. Shocked, she gaped and gasped, only recovering with the next knock on the door. "You actually mean it, don't you?"

The wizard nodded very slightly.

"Prove it in your actions then," Lucca stated. She opened the door and the rest of the Crono Trigger crew joined them in the living room. Lucca began wishing everyone a good morning as they found their seats.

Crono seemed mystified and shocked. "You wouldn't believe it, guys," he murmured. "I dropped by the place my house was before the tornado. Robo was working on it all last night."

"I hope my progress on your home is to your satisfaction, Crono," Robo said. "It has been a long time since I last worked on such a project."

"It's amazing," Crono breathed. "It's almost half-done. It'll be done by tomorrow for sure. It's like… it's like nothing ever happened to the house, but somehow it all became brand-new. It's perfect."

Robo beeped appreciatively. "I am… glad you find it satisfactory. I am duplicating the home as I recorded it the last time I visited it, several days before the tornado. I am repairing all damaged items, replacing missing items, and returning them to their original—or to logical—places."

"It's perfect," Crono swallowed. "Thank you."

"Good morning, sleepyheads!" Marle interrupted loudly. "Golly, look at you guys. You've both got such big dark circles around your eyes! Magus, were you up all night with Lucca?"

An unnatural, strange silence seized the room. It was a most unusual silence, a quietude normally reserved by the universe for the aftermath of the greatest of disasters, such as the wake of a rockslide that buries a village in the middle of that village's yearly celebration to the Gods for protecting them from rockslides. Accompanying the paranormal silence was the most bizarre of stillnesses, the stillness of a museum diorama surrounded by velvet ropes and emblazoned with "DO NOT TOUCH" signs. The entire Crono Trigger crew was stock-still, frozen as statues. Lucca and Magus's eyes were locked upon each other, as if seized with a common realization of doom. Crono, Frog, Marle, and even Robo's eyes (or cameras, as the case was with Robo) were staring at the inventor and the sorcerer.

In the midst of this moment, stopped in time, only one person knew just what to do. Her smile was broad, her motions confident and experienced: Ayla stood from her seat and walked to Magus and Lucca, who were standing next to each other. She gently took Lucca's hand and placed it in the sorcerer's gloved palm, curling his fingers around Lucca's still-frozen hand. "Happy for you! Forever you happy! May babies be strong!" she said joyfully. Tears were glittering in the cavewoman's eyes.

"GAH!" gasped Frog.

Crono stood and slowly patted Magus on the back. "You'd better be good to her, you hear? Lucca is my best friend, and I'll kick your butt if you make her cry."

"GAH!" gasped Frog again.

"What did I just say!" Marle asked, confused. "Everyone's all weird now!"

"Thi—Thi—Wha—GAH!" moaned Frog.

"Lucca, would you please explain this to me?" Robo asked. "Human emotions of this sort are not in my database."

Lucca had finally snapped out of her shock. "It's not like you thin—"

"FOULEST OF FOUL FIENDS!" Frog roared. With the speed of Epoch, the knight-turned-frog closed the distance between himself and the sorcerer, the Masamune flashing from its scabbard and into attack position. Only a convulsive tug from Lucca, who was still holding Magus's hand, saved the wizard from being sliced in two.

Releasing his grasp on Lucca's hand, the wizard summoned the Doomsickle, barely blocking the enraged knight's next slice. "Stupidest of stupid Frogs! Fool to misunderstand!"

Frog lashed out with one blow after another, Magus barely keeping up his defense. "Fiend! I knew thee too well! Curse mine sympathy! Curse mine tolerance for thee! Verily I suspected the loathsomest of enchantments were upon the Lady, yet fool such as I! I didst balk and give thee quarter!"

Magus attempted to knock the knight back, parrying with the flat of the Doomsickle, and pushing back against the furious Frog. "You idiot! I haven't laid a hand on her! Lucca, tell him!"

Lucca began to speak, but she was cut off. "Silence, woman! Thou art possessed by this creature! Thy words be poison!"

Frog leaped at the wizard again. The Masamune rang with collision against Crono's glittering Rainbow katana as Ayla seized the knight-turned-frog. "Release me! I hath spared him, for he hath proved of use in slaying Lavos and in saving thee, Sir Crono! Now, I shall destroy this beast!"

"Frog," Lucca said, trying to keep her patience. "If you're so convinced that I'm under Magus's control, why don't you and Marle just use Double Cure?"

Frog's struggles slowly weakened, and Ayla released the knight. Frog and Marle cast the spell together, and Lucca closed her eyes as the purifying and healing magical energies washed over her. When it was done, Frog sighed heavily and sheathed the Masamune. "There was no enchantment," he finally admitted.

"I think I deserve an apology, Froggie," Magus jeered. "An apology from Frog to Magus. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? You know, I think we need to have this sort of thing more often!"

Frog, only barely mollified before, looked on the verge of a renewed eruption. Lucca quickly stepped between the peeved knight and the sinisterly chuckling sorcerer. "Don't you push it. You're already in enough trouble with me, Magus," she snapped.

Frog sniggered.

Lucca whipped around. "And that includes you too, Frog! You've been pushing for a fight ever since Magus saved my life in the cabin!" More calmly, the inventor continued. "Everyone, we simply had a power failure last night so we didn't sleep very well."

Ayla nodded, still smiling. "What you say, purple hair. What name baby?"

"We're not having a baby. Nothing happened last night."

Ayla nodded again, her smile unabated as she giggled. "Okay! What you say!"

Lucca sighed. Magus shook his head, and Frog made a choking sound. Crono and Marle snickered. Clearly, there was no dissuading the cavewoman.

The teenage inventor decided it was high time to get started with the meeting. She took out her invitation and held it up. "Alright, good news everyone! The Royal Scientific League has agreed to reopen my rejection from the League."

"Rejection?" Crono looked very surprised. "YOU were rejected from a Science Club?"

"Yes. When I applied to join the Royal Scientific League, I submitted a paper on the working of the Gate Key and its relation to the Telepod and Time Gates. They thought I was a loon." The inventor's knuckles popped as her hands clenched. She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, willing her hands to reopen. "But no more! They have agreed to reopen my case! They want me to demonstrate LuccaVision to them. But this broadcast has to be good."

"That's wonderful!" Marle gasped. "I'm so happy for you! Once you're in, you'll get the von Klopman prize for sure!"

"That would be nice…" a long, lazy smile spread across the inventor's face as she sighed. Her arms moved, almost as if she was holding an infant. "Three point one four one five nine kilograms of achievement of a lifetime…" she purred.

"Err, Lucca," Crono interrupted, "Earth to Lucca!"

"Yes!" Lucca said with a start. "Yes, we are going to be presenting before the Royal Scientific League monthly symposium, and we will be doing an educational broadcast. I figure we'll film us doing some chemical reactions, and maybe end with the synthesis of nylon."

"That sounds good, Lucca," said Crono. The young swordsman frowned. "We've got to do something for our other viewers though."

"What do you mean?"

"There's more than five hundred other people out there with LuccaVisions. It doesn't seem right to inflict an educational broadcast on them."

"Inflict!" Lucca fumed. "If you're worried that this will be too boring, than mission accomplished. Boring is just the way I want it. I want it so dry that when it ends, a casual viewer will feel parched. There can be no mistakes."

Robo bowed slightly. Crono, Marle, Ayla, and Frog nodded. They understood how important this was to their friend.

"This has the potential to make or break my career. I know I have the brains for it, and I'm a great engineer and inventor. But that's not enough. I want to advance human knowledge and make a real difference in the world. I want be a recognized scientist," Lucca said, "and so much of that means I have to have the proper connections—connections that I can best get through the Royal Scientific League."

Marle suggested, "Lucca, I could just poof it up."

The inventor turned to face the princess. "What?"

"You know," the blonde girl snapped her fingers. "Poof! Daddy commands it. Doctor Lucca Ashtear, head of the Royal Scientific League. Head Scientist of the Kingdom Ministry of Science. Kingdom Prime Researcher and Theoretician. Phooey on anyone who don't like it."

"That's very generous of you, Marle, but that's not how science works. I need to do this on my own merits. I know that King Guardia could make this happen for me, and he probably would if I asked for an audience with him and requested it, but I have to do it right. For me."

Realization dawned upon the bubbly blonde's face. "Like coffee, right?"

"What?"

"Like coffee," said the princess. "Or ice cream! Or candy! It's always tastier when you sneak out of the castle yourself to get it!"

"Something like that, yes," Lucca smiled a little. "Some things are just better when you know you did them yourself, especially when you know you did it the right way, for the right reason."

"Indeed, milady," Frog nodded. "Honorless be that thou didst not earn, and craven art one who doth not stand for that thou knowest right."

Crono nodded and smiled. "Whatever Frog just said."

"Lady Lucca, perhaps we should start with some laboratory safety information," Robo suggested.

"An excellent idea," Lucca agreed. "And speaking of safety, I'll be right back." The inventor stood and vanished down a hallway, returning a few moments later. "I just talked with my dad. I'll have a polycarbonate blast shield that he invented a while back set up. With the push of a button, we can deploy it, though we won't need it. We won't use any chemicals that are explosive or present in high enough concentration to be dangerous, but we can point to our safety measures as being a potential for safe chemical science in the future." Lucca began laughing her trademark laugh. "Yes, Garharhar! We'll build the laboratory of the future! That will impress the League."

"We should have a team work each experiment or presentation," Magus pointed out. "If we split them up, say among teams of two each, we can rehearse the experiments and learn them well before the broadcast. Then each team presents. Also, that will prevent any one mistake from messing the whole thing up."

Lucca agreed that that was another good idea. After a bit more deliberation, the Crono Trigger team agreed that to host three separate "segments" in the broadcast: the first segment would be lab safety, the second would be on common laboratory procedures, and the third would be an actual experiment, the synthesis of nylon.

"Now, here's a problem," frowned the teenage inventor. "I need to be at the symposium presenting the LuccaVision, how it works, and the experimental background behind it. I need someone here to host the presentation and someone to make sure that the broadcast goes well."

"I will host the broadcast and ensure that it goes out exactly as you have planned," Magus said solemnly. His gaze met Lucca's squarely as he said, "There will be no arguments, no mistakes, and no foul-ups, Lucca. You have my word and you shall see proof in my actions. This broadcast will work."

Lucca's eyes widened for a moment. "Thank you, but it's too much for you to do both."

"Too much? Woman, I'm a princ—" Magus started, his tone his usual arrogant bluster. Suddenly, his voice changed. "Yes, of course, you're right."

Frog blinked as his mouth dropped open. Marle and Crono sat straight up, surprised. Ayla clapped her hands and sighed while Robo beeped unusually.

Lucca quickly turned to Crono. "Will you be our host? I need you to walk people through the broadcast."

The red-haired hero nodded slowly, still a little surprised by Magus's unusual behavior. "… sure?"

"Good. And now we need our teams. Crono, since you're our host, I'll put you with Robo. Robo, would you operate the camera?"

"Certainly, madam Lucca."

"Marle, would you and Magus be a team?"

"Me and Maggie would love to!"

"Me? On a team with her?" Magus spat.

"It'll be just like when we saved everyone, Maggie!" Marle bubbled as she laughed. "We'll have so much fun! Hey, maybe between rehearsals, you can introduce me to Mr. Doom Sickle!" The princess's visage suddenly become stern, and she shook her finger at the wizard. "You remembered to feed Mr. Doom Sickle today, right?"

"I can't work with Marle. Lucca, anything is better than this," Magus groaned.

"Anything?"

Magus swallowed. There was no mistaking the look upon Lucca's face. It was a picture of cunning deviousness. Revenge and vigilante justification were plain as day in the sudden feral smile upon her lips and in the dangerous glint in her eyes.

Robo took a step backwards. Ayla suddenly found a tuft of carpeting very interesting and focused her attention on it. Crono cowered. Marle gulped fearfully. Frog began to look rather nervous.

Lucca cackled. "Didn't you say _anything_ would be better?"

Magus looked at Marle for a moment, then shuddered. Nothing Lucca could do could be worse than working with the bubbly princess. "Yes, Lucca, anything would be better."

"And you promise that there will be no mistakes and no arguments?"

For the first time in a very long time, Magus could feel the hair on the back of his neck rising. He suddenly knew what the punishment for his earlier disregard of Lucca's feelings was, and he knew that this punishment would be grave indeed. He looked again at Marle and bristled. Yes, even the punishment he knew Lucca had in mind was a better fate than working with the blonde princess. "Yes Lucca, as I said before, there will be no mistakes, and no arguments."

"Frog, is it true that Magus always starts these arguments and problems with you?"

Frog replied eagerly. "Indeed, milady!"

"Then Magus, I'd like you to work with Frog on this one. There won't be any problems, will there?"

The amphibian knight ribbit-ed.

Magus's pointed ears drooped as his shoulders almost imperceptibly slumped.

"I take it I have both your word?"

Frog and Magus reluctantly agreed.

"Good! I'm sure you'll both enjoy working with each other. Now, I'd like to hold onto your weapons, just to be safe, okay?"

Frog and Magus turned over the Masamune and the Doomsickle. Lucca seemed satisfied. "Ayla, would you work with Marle?"

Ayla threw an arm around the princess's shoulders and punched the air with her fist. "We work together! Sun hairs work together!"

"YEAH!" Marle joined the cavewoman in punching the air, and the two did a little dance, apparently quite satisfied with their partnership.

"Alright then." Lucca led her friends to the shed behind the Ashtear house, the location of the LuccaVision studio. There, the Crono Trigger crew spent the next two days preparing and rehearsing, over and over again. This broadcast would be nothing less than perfection.

* * *

The broadcast was just a scant hour away. A while before, Lucca had left for the castle where the Guardia Royal Scientific League monthly symposium was being held. There she would give a brief presentation on the technology behind the LuccaVision, and then the broadcast would begin. Marle sat down next to Ayla, triple espresso mocha in hand, on one of the chairs from the Mystic Wars interview and sighed. The last few days had been enormously busy, but everything had gone very well. She and Ayla had made a great team, Robo and Crono had gotten along wonderfully, and even Magus and Frog seemed to have cooperated well to make this broadcast a success. She closed her eyes for a moment, then glanced around the LuccaVision studio.

In just a few days, the studio had undergone a tremendous transformation: where before there had been a podium and an interview table, there was now a wheeled table upon a raised stage. The wheeled table was set up with chemistry laboratory equipment. In the middle of the table was a small set of shelves, laden with glass tubing, beakers, stirring rods, test tubes, and various other chemical handling equipment. A chemical locker was beneath the shelves. On one side of the table was a sink with an eyewash station, a safety shower, and connections for a Bunsen burner and a vacuum filtration flask respectively. On the other side of the table was a clear working area. Holes where metal rods could be inserted were bored into the table at intervals, and clamps and supports were available for setting up various chemical apparatus. Red hoses with nozzles were strapped to the sides of the table every few feet. As for the LuccaVision cameras, only one camera was present, mounted to a mobile tripod so that it could be moved around the lab table to observe various procedures.

Marle yawned and took another sip of her drink, relishing in the smooth chocolatey taste of her favorite way to take the caffeine she required to function. She looked up to find Ayla sniffing at the cup's vent, the cavewoman's nose inches from her own. "Would you like to try some, Ayla?"

Ayla nodded. Marle handed the cup to her partner and giggled as the cavewoman's eyes lit up at the flavor. Ayla grunted appreciatively, and began to hand the cup back, but Marle shook her head. "Go ahead, Ayla. I know you'll like it!"

For a moment, Marle watched her partner enjoying the drink, then turned to look at her fellow companions. Crono was at a control console in the corner testing the function of the buttons and switches. He nodded as he flipped a switch, and the transparent polycarbonate blast shields lowered around the stage, sealing it in. He flipped the switch again, raising the shields. Robo was adjusting the camera, and Magus was standing next to him, performing a final check on the camera's connection to the LuccaVision amplifier. Frog was leaning on the wall nearby, staring at the ground. The amphibian knight appeared unusually troubled, even considering that he had been trying to cooperate with his archnemesis for several days now.

Marle called the knight over. "Why aren't you happy, Frog?"

"My lady," he started, then closed his eyes and inhaled slowly.

"Frog? Sad is no good! Be happy!"

With a long, drawn-out exhalation, Frog opened his eyes again. "When I was but Glenn, a friend of mine was bound by honor to stand aside, forsaking right for honor's sake."

"Huh?"

"Verily, it weighs heavily upon mine mind some time: art the greater right in holding to thine honor and thine word, forsaking all other, or art the greater honor in holding to the right and good, forsaking thine mistaken word? Mine friend chose honor, an' another paid dear for that which the right doth have prevented."

"What?"

Frog ribbit-ed. "My Lady, shouldst one stand aside, holding to honor an' allowing a friend's mistake most dread, or shouldst one do right, suffering honor?"

"Could you be a little more plain?" Marle frowned.

"Do right! Do right!" Ayla said suddenly. She thrust the empty triple espresso mocha cup into Marle's hands. "Do right! Right good! Do right good do not wrong do right no wrong wrong be wrong do right!"

The amphibian knight raised an eyebrow, then nodded. "Indeed. So mote it be." Frog walked over to the laboratory table.

"Ayla, are you alright?"

"Ayla feel funny. Ayla so fast! Ayla feel strong like tree like could climb all day and hunt all night!" The cavewoman was bouncing up and down, as if filled with energy that was trying to escape. "Ayla getting stronger! Stronger! Ayla feel funny!"

"Hey, Marle, Ayla, are you guys ready? The broadcast is just about to start!" Crono had come over from the control console. He looked at Ayla quizzically, then at Marle. The swordsman's eyes came to rest on the empty cup in Marle's hands, then darted back to the barely contained cavewoman. "You didn't… give that to Ay— oh no."

"Ayla feel surge surge bam bam!"

"What's wrong, Crono?" Marle asked, completely innocently.

"This is probably the first time Ayla's ever had caffeine," Crono said tensely. He swallowed. He didn't know just how much caffeine was in Marle's triple espresso mocha, but he was already getting a very bad feeling just watching Ayla's ill-restrained fidgeting. "Well, the show must go on. Take your places."

Marle walked and Ayla bounded onto the stage. Crono shook his head and walked over to Robo, who was waiting with the camera. From his pocket, the swordsman produced a long, cylindrical object, with a black foam cover on one end. He spoke into it carefully. "Testing, testing, 3… 2… 1… 1… 2… 3… Robo, is this working?"

"Madam Lucca's hand-held microphone is working perfectly," Robo confirmed. The robot beeped as it examined the settings on the camera. "All switches and dials are set correctly. So long as all has gone according to plan at the symposium, Lucca will expect the broadcast to begin in 45.689 seconds from this point."

"Is all in order, Crono?" Magus asked.

"Ayla has had caffeine, but other than that, all seems well."

"Caffeine? I should have known that disaster would be Marle's doing," Magus said irascibly. "All of the effort and rehearsals to make this perfect, and now THIS?" The wizard growled and then looked at Crono. "I gave her my word. We shall not fail Lucca."

"We won't, Magus. I'll think of something if the lab safety stuff goes wrong."

"Very well, Crono. Make this work, or Lucca's bite shall be the merest tickle compared to mine." The wizard walked off camera, to where Frog was waiting.

The teenage swordsman stepped in front of the camera, held the hand-held microphone up to his chin, and stood confidently as the camera's record light came on. The broadcast had started!

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the Royal Scientific League. And good evening, Lucca Ashtear! Has your presentation been going well?" Crono paused for a moment. "Excellent. Tonight, we are demonstrating the chemistry laboratory of the future, a safe and fun place to learn. I am Crono, your host for this broadcast," Crono bowed slightly, "and I shall now introduce you to some friends in the laboratory." With that, he began calling the others' names.

When each of their names were called, the rest of the Crono Trigger crew individually came forward for the camera. Marle skipped in front of the camera and waved at her name. Ayla leaped from behind the table and ran up to the camera, smiling manically.

Crono winced and prayed that they had just had the only mistake of the broadcast.

Frog strode forth and bowed deeply, followed by Magus. As Magus came forward, he nearly tripped over Frog's foot, but almost immediately recovered, smoothly slipping into a bow for the camera.

"And Robo is operating the camera," Crono said. He stepped out of the camera's field of view, and Robo focused the camera on the raised stage. "Now, the laboratory of the future will feature several major features that are not present in the laboratories of today. Note that the entire laboratory setup is built into a single, mobile table."

Marle demonstrated how easy it was to roll the laboratory table around the raised stage.

"The single table contains water, vacuum, gas, and electrical systems built-in under the tabletop and requires no external connections. This allows for the laboratory to be easily reconfigured for different experiments…" Crono trailed off as Ayla took the table from Marle, and began shoving it around enthusiastically. Thankfully, this was easy to spin: "also, it prevents damage to laboratory equipment and piping should horseplay occur. Such movement as you see Ayla demonstrating would seriously damage a regular fixed-position lab table.

"Now, speaking of the built-in water, vacuum, gas, and electrical systems, would you show us how easy it is to replenish the table's supplies, Marle?"

"Certainly, Crono. The gas system can be recharged from an ordinary natural gas or liquid propane gas cylinder and the electrical system is run from high-capacity rechargeable batteries." The princess lifted a panel on the top of the table. "This is the fresh water reservoir. All that has to be done is just keep it topped off, and you're good to go."

Crono winced as Ayla thrust her hand down into the tank, scooping a handful of water from the fresh water reservoir and drinking it. "Note that the laboratory of the future features strong environmental separation between clean fresh water and toxic liquid wastes," he said quickly, "and that under no circumstances can the fresh water be contaminated. The laboratory of the future is eco-friendly, and the separation of the fresh water supply and waste holding tanks from public utilities increases the protection of local water systems."

Marle had gotten Ayla back under control for the moment. Crono nodded, satisfied, and continued. "Now, during a chemistry course, there are often experiments that have the potential to go awry. For example, organic Grignard and organolithium reactions have the potential for loss-of-control situations. In the professional chemical lab, these problems can be even more severe. The laboratory of the future features an easily-deployed blast shield, which can provide protection should the unthinkable occur." At that, Crono flipped the switch for the blast shield, and the polycarbonate shields dropped into place smoothly around the stage, encasing it in a protective cage. "Just as easily, the shield can be removed for access to the experiment and personnel." He flipped the switch again, and the shield raised into its position over the stage again.

"Of course, conventional laboratory safety is not ignored," Marle said. Robo and Crono smoothly moved the tripod and focused it onto the princess and the shaking cavewoman. "When you are working in the laboratory of the future, please take a moment to familiarize yourself with conventional safety systems."

"Life depend on life depend on safety need safety safety good," Ayla said quickly. She pressed her lips together tightly and closed her eyes. Despite the constipated look on her face, the cavewoman was clearly doing her best to resist the anarchic urges of the caffeine in Marle's favorite beverage.

Crono stepped onto the stage and stood next to Ayla and Marle. "Would you and Ayla mind showing us some of the conventional safety systems built into the laboratory of the future?"

"Certainly, Crono. Fire extinguishers are handled through the integrated fire protection system," Marle said, pointing to the red hoses strapped to the sides of the table. "When the hoses are detached from the table, it automatically activates a central fire suppression system that routes extinguishing nitrogen foam to the hoses and to the fire.

"And over here at the sink is the eyewash station and safety shower. All that one has to do in an emergency chemical spill is pull the blue lever to activate the eyewash station, or pull the red lever over the sink to activate both systems."

Ayla opened her eyes, and stared at the red lever. Her eyes narrowed, cat-like, as her hand darted out. Marle dashed to intercede, but it was far too late. Crono stepped back just in time as Ayla pulled the red lever. Water suddenly gushed up from the eyewash station in the sink and flowed down from the safety shower. In an instant, Marle and Ayla were completely soaked.

"Don't hesitate to use the safety systems if you need them," Crono said smoothly. "They are highly effective in quickly washing away almost any toxic or dangerous chemical."

"Yes," Marle agreed.

"Ayla wet!" The cold water seemed to have shocked the cavewoman to her senses. "E-mer-gen-cy wash up!"

Marle and Ayla left the stage, and Robo refocused the camera on Crono.

"The laboratory of the future is a safe, controlled place for chemical work," Crono assured. Inwardly, he patted himself on the back. So far, things had gone swimmingly, considering that Marle and Ayla had nearly made a disaster of the lab safety segment of the broadcast. Every mistake had been nicely covered for. "Now, let us cover some simple lab procedures."

Frog and Magus climbed onto the stage. Crono's shivered as Magus almost tripped again over Frog's foot. That near-fall had not looked like an accident. Then Crono shook his head. Frog and Magus both knew what was at stake. Lucca was counting on them with all of her heart. Both had given their word to work together and do their best. Surely, they could put their differences aside for just a few moments, and help one of their best friends out. With confidence, Crono continued. "Magus and Frog will be showing us some simple chemistry laboratory procedures before we conclude this broadcast with an experimental synthesis of nylon."

Robo switched the camera from Crono's hand-held microphone to a microphone built into the lab table. Crono breathed deeply, relieved that his part was over. Frog and Magus could take it from here.

Magus started "We'll set—"

Frog interrupted. "Betwixt us we shalt construct one 'simple distillation' machination, then wilt we create a 'titration,' for thee all." The knight-turned-frog turned to the sorcerer, saying "Now, tarry not, proby, let us begin."

Magus blinked. He then opened the chemical cabinet, and pulled from it a number of chemical bottles. "In the simple distillation, we shall be distilling an even mixture of cyclohexane from toluene."

Frog began mixing the chemicals in a round-bottomed flask, Robo zooming in to capture the action. Magus opened a hatch in the table and produced some glassware, several glass clamps, and a few metal rods. Soon, he had assembled the simple distillation apparatus, an odd assemblage of tubing, glass curves, and a thermometer that would have looked perfectly at home on the desk of a 600 A.D. alchemist. Magus set up an electric heating pad, placed a small glass container of sand upon it, and then turned to Frog. "Alright, the apparatus is ready."

Frog looked at the simple distillation apparatus for a moment before disassembling it, then reassembling it. "'Tis matter most serious to ensure that thine ground joints be tight, lest thou lose thine gas thither the air and be astonied of the poorest of yield." Satisfied with his work, Frog dropped a small rock chip into the flask of cyclohexane and toluene, attaching it to the distillation apparatus and lowering the flask into the sand. Magus turned the heating pad on and the two waited for the distillation to complete.

"Now, whilst we wait, proby, recount the experiment."

"Proby?" Magus objected, then quickly agreed. "Yes, let's go over the experiment. In a simple distillation, one cannot achieve a perfect separation of a solution's components, unlike a fractional distill—"

"Why?"

"What?"

"Is it thy lack of training that prevents thee from perfect separation?"

Magus gritted his teeth as he and Frog continued to go over the experiment. Marle and Ayla came over to Crono, much dryer than they had been before.

"It's safe to talk, Robo's got the microphone set to the lab table," Crono whispered. "Just keep your voices down. The table microphone's not one of those fancy unidirectional ones."

"What is he doing?" Marle gasped, pointing at Frog.

"Ruining the broadcast," Crono said glumly. "This wasn't in the rehearsals at all."

"Lucca's going to kill him," Marle gulped. "I mean really kill him."

"Have frog legs tonight," Ayla said excitedly, licking her lips.

"What if they start fighting?" asked Robo. "Shouldn't we stop this?"

"No think good idea. This between them. Step in, no belong, get teared apart!"

"Yeah, I think Ayla's right. If they really start fighting, I don't think I want to be around here. But Frog must have a reason," Crono said. "At least Magus is going along with it. If he just keeps his cool, I think we'll still have a good broadcast."

"Like a student and a teacher," Robo put in.

Ayla quivered. "Ayla no think blue hair like Froggie teacher."

There was something terrifyingly eerie in the air. Crono could feel goosebumps all over himself. He was feeling something very much like the otherworldly feeling of cataclysm that a miner being lowered down a mine shaft feels right after seeing his safety canary collapse.

The simple distillation finally ended, and Frog and Magus set up for the titration, erecting a buret, a large glass tube with a valve on the end of it. From the chemical storage locker, Frog produced a small beaker of an unknown acid, adding an indicator dye to the acid to indicate when the titration neutralized the acid mixture. He then placed the beaker beneath the buret. Magus filled the buret with purple potassium permanganate and opened the valve, allowing the basic potassium permanganate to slowly drip into the acid. Frog took over the titration and Magus began preparing for the next step of the experiment.

Magus picked up an Erlenmeyer flask of ammonia. "Frog, have you finished titrating that mixture yet? The acid has to be neutralized before I pour this base in."

Frog took the beaker out from underneath the buret. "Verily, the mixture doth require a dram ere it titrates."

Magus waited a moment. "Now?"

"No." Frog took a pipette and filled it with potassium permanganate. The amphibian knight dropped the pipette on the table. He picked it up, accidentally squeezing the measuring device's eyedropper-like bulb. A squirt of fluid shot across the table, landing on Magus's shirt.

The wizard glared at the amphibian.

"Prithee, no offense intended, foul fiend," said Frog. A look of disappointment appeared on the knight's face as he noted that the purple titrating liquid had landed on a blue shirt. "Oh, it's not staining."

"Hmmph," replied the wizard. "Is the titration done?"

"Yes."

Magus poured the contents of the Erlenmeyer flask into the beaker. As the purplish fluid in the tube turned green, Magus stopped pouring.

"Add a drop of acid, Frog."

"Unto which acid doth thou refer?"

"The dilute acetic acid."

Magus looked down at the table to find the next substance to add to the mixture. Suddenly, a spray of acetic acid caught him in the eyepatch. The wizard turned to face Frog, furious, as the fluid ran down his face, filling his nostrils with the acrid smell of vinegar. "FROGGIE! I'll—" Magus stopped. He had given Lucca his word.

"Oops. Verily, I hath missed mine target," Frog placed a drop of the acid into the mixture. "No offense was intended, dastard."

Magus 'hmmph'ed again. He opened the chemical locker to fetch the next chemical needed for the experiment and his good eye fell upon a flask filled with ground limestone powder sitting next to a bottle of dilute hydrochloric acid. A devious plot came the sorcerer's mind. For a moment he contemplated, before deciding that he could not violate his promise.

Crono, Marle, Ayla and Robo looked on. Marle shivered. The very air seemed laden with power, with the violent sparks of two legendary personalities, natural enemies from their first encounter, colliding and intensifying in preparation for a disaster of epic proportions.

Ayla watched with fascination as Frog asked Magus a question, subtly mixed with a reference to the wizard having swallowed his pride and submitted to Lucca's will.

Robo continued to manage the camera. In his computerized mind, he envisioned Lucca and the Royal Scientific League symposium, watching a LuccaVision set displaying an educational broadcast about to go very south. The robot produced a whirring as he admitted to himself that a terrible fight was now inevitable.

As the host of the event, Crono pondered how he was going to put a positive spin on the broadcast once Magus had finally taken all the abuse he could stand from Frog, who had evidently gone completely insane. It was inconceivable that noble Frog was breaking his word to Lucca, yet there he was, pushing the sorcerer hard toward the breaking point. The teenage swordsman looked up at the stage. The egoistical prince turned warlock's pointed ears were tense, like the ears of a predator focused completely on its prey. His eye was narrowed, as if tunnel-visioned on his work. Crono heard the quiet grinding of teeth as the very light in Magus's personal space seemed to be dimming, as if the wizard was unconsciously summoning the powers of Shadow to him. The teenage swordsman realized that he had started holding his breath, as if waiting for the fireworks to fly.

Frog held up a calibrated syringe. "Hmm. Magus, it doth seem the plunger of this contrivance hath seized. Not a tool worthy of thee at all."

One of Magus's ears twitched. "Hold on, Froggie. I need to check something," said the sorcerer.

He put the titration sample in the storage locker, then took the flask of limestone powder in one hand and the bottle of dilute hydrochloric acid in the other. In one smooth motion, he poured a healthy quantity of limestone into the bottle of acid, put a gloved finger over the bottle's opening, and shook the bottle. The contents of the bottle frothed violently as the basic limestone reacted with the acid, like baking soda mixed with vinegar.

"What the devil? I doth not recall such in Lady Lucca's instructions."

"No it isn't, Frog," agreed Magus. The wizard grinned, aimed the bottle at Frog, moved his finger away from the bottle's opening, spraying a column of bubbling water, acid, limestone dust, and carbon dioxide gas at the amphibian knight.

Frog dropped to the floor to avoid the spray.

Magus compensated immediately, adjusting his aim, soaking Frog. "Muwahaha! Hahahahaha!" Magus cackled.

Frog slowly rose to his feet. He reached for the Masamune before remembering that Lucca had confiscated it along with the Doom sickle. He assumed an offensive melee stance.

Black flames engulfed Magus's hands as the lab table wheeled into the corner of the stage, maneuvered by Magus's power to make room for the spat of the century.

Crono immediately had a revelation. Lucca's hopes for an educational video had just been dashed, but there was a chance to at least salvage something from this mess. After all, it wasn't just the Royal Scientific League watching; Crono recalled how LuccaVision sets would automatically turn on whenever there was a broadcast. Every LuccaVision set in the land was tuned to the show.

Crono looked up at the stage. Frog and Magus were just entering the 'trade insults' phase of battle. The teenage swordsman quickly instructed Marle and Ayla to take up positions at two opposite corners of the square stage and to listen for further instructions. After giving him the 'are you crazy?' look, they hesitantly complied.

Crono stood, turned on his hand-held microphone, and jumped in front of the camera. "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! YOU ARE WATCHING LUCCAVISION'S MOST INTENSE SHOW EVER! THIS IS HERO OF THE RING! TWO OF THE WORLD'S MOST TOUGH, MOST MEAN, MOST BODACIOUS, AND MOST FEARSOME WARRIORS ARE DUKING IT OUT FOR THE TITLE OF WORLD WRESTLING CHAMPION!" Crono roared.

Despite his lack of human features, Robo somehow managed to join Marle and Ayla in giving Crono the 'are you crazy?' look.

Crono pointed at Frog. Robo gave Crono a remarkably human looking shrug and zoomed in on the amphibian knight.

Crono put on his most effective 'raw adrenaline stimulating' tone of voice. "In that corner, hailing from 600 A.D.: the hero of Guardia, wielder of the legendary sword Masamune, and packing both a wallop and a grudge: honored knight of the Square Table, the FINISHER, FROG!"

Robo pointed the camera at Magus.

"And in that corner, hailing from 12,000 B.C. and 600 A.D., is the fiend who brought Guardia to its knees, the man who put the brute in brutal, and master of Shadow magic, the King of the Mystic Kingdom and the Crown Prince of the Kingdom of Zeal, the WARLOCK, MAGUS!"

"Cowardly, weak wizard! Thou couldn't destroy me nor Gaurdia in mine time: I credit myself with victory as we speak!"

"You? Victorious? Pah! I kicked so much butt in 600 A.D. that King Guardia had to start a rationing system!"

Crono pressed a switch, lowering Lucca's transparent blast shield over the stage. "There will be no escape until a victor is decided," said Crono ominously into the microphone. "NO ESCAPE FROM: THE GLASS CAGE! ONLY ONE MAY LEAVE THE RING!"

"Wait. Crono? Why are you calling the stage a ring?" asked Robo. "It is square."

"Ummm… it's a square ring, OK, Robo?"

"Rings don't have sides, Crono."

Frog had finally noticed that the tone of the fight had taken a drastic turn for the worse. "Maggie, hast thou noticed our predicament?"

"Of course, little Froggie. What's the matter? Having a bit of trouble performing? You mustn't keep girlfriends very long."

"Forsooth! Unlike thee, I hath never desired to know mine sister!"

Magus flew at the knight, landing a solid right hook to his jaw, sending Frog to the floor. "NEVER suggest that again! I have my designs on someone el—"

Magus was suddenly on the floor from a vicious kick. Frog stood to follow up with a stomp to the warlock's head, but the wizard rolled out of the way, grabbing the amphibian's leg and pulling down underneath him. However, Frog proved unusually flexible, wriggling out of the potentially damaging situation.

Leaping to his feet, Magus sighted Frog standing next to the lab table. The sorcerer leaped towards Frog. Frog suddenly shoved hard on one end of the table, spinning it around to collide solidly with Magus's hip. The wizard fell to his knees.

Magus immediately tried to spring to his feet, only to be met with a flask of iron pellets to the head and a punch. The wizard backflipped away from the conflict, drew a mystic symbol in the air, and spread his arms. "GOODBYE, FROG!"

Frog dug the sticky pads in his palms into the floor of the ring as the world distorted and a dark hole opened around the sorcerer. Crepuscular forces seized the knight, pulling him towards the infinite shadow.

Magus tilted his head back, cackling maniacally. His eyes were glowing as his unusually fang-like canines flickered in the wavering light. The sorcerer raised his hand, a sphere of power accumulating in his palm. The wizard stepped into the sinister vortex, unaffected by the black hole surrounding him, and approached Frog as the shadowy whirlpool began to envelop the knight. Magus kneeled beside him and extended his hand. "This is the end for you, the end of our fated battle. I suppose it never could have ended otherwise. The Darkness shall devour you and your soul shall be my trophy!"

Frog moved his hands.

The wizard was engulfed in a wall of water. The vortex of darkness dissipated.

Frog turned to face the wizard, only to meet the lab tabletop as Magus broke it over his head.

"THE WARLOCK JUST SLAMMED THE FINISHER WITH A TABLE!" shrieked Crono.

Frog shook his noggin. Seeing that Magus was again preparing a killing blow, Frog went for the groin. Magus caught the blow with microseconds to spare and stepped back as another wave from Frog buried him underwater.

Frog jumped on the wizard and rained down a volley of undefendable blows.

Magus murmured a few syllables. The shockwave of a Dark Bomb rippled off of the sorcerer, casting Frog away from him. Frog landed in a corner of the ring, dazed.

The egoistical sorcerer, closed his eyes and kneeled, whispering an invocation to the powers of shadow. A second later, a magic barrier formed around the wizard.

Frog stood from his daze and summoned his most potent water based spell. Magus smirked as the spell absorbed into his barrier, which strengthened while healing the sorcerer.

"This ends NOW!" roared Magus. Spheres of dark energy crackled off the sorcerer. The ring began to darken as the ground began to shake. A black triangle of energy ripped open in the air, suspended above the center of the ring. A white triangle grew within the larger black triangle as the full power of Dark Matter built up.

Lucca's blast shields strained with all their technologically advanced might to hold in the power of Dark Matter. Fortunately, the spell never reached full power, dissipating and vanishing, leaving Frog prone, clinging desperately to consciousness.

Magus approached the fallen warrior. He raised his right hand, another black sphere of magical energy forming in his palm. "It was a worthy fight, Frog. But your life ends here. Pass into the Void honorably, not pathetically. Before I finish you, do you have any last words?"

Frog made a 'ribbit'-ing noise.

"What was that? I didn't quite make that ou—"

Out of thin air, Frog's Frog Crush spell fell upon the wizard. Magus crashed to the floor next to Frog, where the two exchanged feeble blows. Until…

The studio door slammed open. Lucca burst in, Wondershot cocked and ready.

"WHO'S FIRST?" she shrieked.

"Meep," said Crono, who promptly passed out, falling atop Robo who had conveniently chosen that moment to go offline. Ayla took one look at Lucca's face, scooped up Marle in her arms, and leaped out the nearest window. Magus melted away, teleporting and leaving Frog to Lucca's mercy.

Frog pulled himself painfully to a half-sitting position as Lucca approached. Never before had the amphibian knight seen such fury upon a person's countenance—not even upon the face of his archenemy, Magus.

"My Lady, I humbly throw mineself to thy lenience," Frog said. He pulled himself slowly, weakly, to his feet, answering Lucca's fury with determination. "Yet I accept the consequences, for I didst bait the wastrel to reveal his true nature. I pray that thou someday seest mine actions art for thee, to save thee from thyself, for thou lovest a beast. For thee, I hath forsaken honor, lest thy lot fall in with that drab-son cur."

"I'm going to feed your legs to Ayla!" Lucca roared as she stalked towards the stage.

* * *

Magus materialized some distance away from Lucca's house, lying on the snow-covered ground amongst a small copse of trees. The sorcerer ached all over. He had not fought so viciously since the final battle with Lavos, and even then, he had not been so hurt. The hate and fury from his fight with Frog was gone, replaced with guilt immeasurable. He had allowed himself to be baited into destroying Lucca's latest broadcast—an unforgivable trespass.

Magus knew that Lucca's house was not a safe place for him to be at the moment. Magus started a small fire to ward off the cold and as the madness of the fight returned to his mind, he began to brood. For several hours he lay on the ground next to the fire, his anger raging as he imagined that Lucca was dealing most harshly with his nemesis. Finally, the wizard frowned. Somehow, he knew the inventor would be merciful to the knight, no matter how furious she was. Thinking of Lucca brought Magus back to his inability to keep his word to Lucca and to the ruined broadcast, and he found himself badly wishing he had destroyed the pest of a knight once and for all before Lucca had returned. "At least some good would have come out of ruining her dreams," he growled.

Presently, he found that he was feeling much better. His wounds were healing quickly, though he had not cast any healing spell. His heartbeat suddenly pounded in his ears and his vision intermittently drifted in and out of focus. A dark shade seemed to be falling over the wizard. Something was happening.

The trees nearby seemed to be bending away from him. Magus's good eye narrowed as he stood. There seemed to be a hint of firelight leaking around his eyepatch. Drawing to his feet, he slowly removed the eyepatch and was surprised to find that his injured eye had fully healed, just like the rest of his body. A strange, unnatural wind was blowing around him. His cape billowed out behind him. It was just seconds before lunar zenith. The sorcerer inhaled slowly. His senses were at their most acute. A thrill ran through his spine as a force he had not felt in a long time wafted over him. "The Black Wind blows… a portent of darkness…"

Suddenly, everything was clear to the wizard. His hand clenched against his chest as he bent double, a surge of magical energy painfully coursing throughout his body.

"It's finally time," he gasped with difficulty. Another surge of power. "Froggie… the battle awakened something… uggh!"

The wizard dropped to his knees as another surge of power ran through him. Desires for the most violent of actions were filling his mind. He groaned as his fingernails sharpened and lengthened. His senses further strengthened as his body convulsed again. The wizard attempted to keep his wits about him, to purge the wicked madness that was trying to consume him. The full moon was almost at maximum ascension. In just a few more moments, he would be complete again.

"But at what cost?" Magus thought to himself. "Will I lose myself in my powers? Have I become weak? Can I control my own strength again? Wi—" The wizard's thoughts were cut off as the full moon finally reached zenith.

Midnight seemed to darken as the moonlight shone down on the sorcerer. The powers of shadow, long separated from their lord, returned to their master in a flurry of sight and sound. Magus's fangs extended beyond his lips as his crimson eyes glowed brilliantly. His fists clenched, blood dripping to the ground as his claws dug into his palms. Thunder rolled ominously as Magus smirked. Spheres of purple light orbited around him, spectral servants to their ruler. The King of Wizards stood to his full height, dark energy crackling over his body.

"My power has returned," he chuckled. "Magus is reborn!"

The nearly infinite power of shadow begged to be used. Magus's smirk grew into a wicked grin. Lavos no longer held sway over the earth: revenge had been served. The once powerful and warlike Royal House of Guardia was weak and the people of this era were powerless. The heroes who had fought with him against Lavos had no hope in battle against him now. This was a planet that would embrace a new Emperor. Magus spread his arms and laughed loudly. "My power shall shatter the continents and they will fly anew. Zeal shall be reborn amongst the clouds again and I shall be her eternal King! It is my destiny, mine by right!"

Magus turned towards Guardia Castle.

He blinked. Something within him was resisting. Something in Magus would not let him carry out his wishes.

"Janus," said Magus. "How can you be at peace with this world? This world that cast you out, took your sister from you, forgot you, beat you, twisted you, and destroyed you? How can you continue to deny your destiny? You could have had the world, but you chose to fight Lavos. Now Lavos is gone: you can have the world again! I know your desires, boy who thirsted for revenge and might! I am power, torment, and strength, the man you were desperate to be. You wish for vengeance, and all has been avenged. You wish to rule, and I offer a throne. Why do you refuse it? Why are you paralyzed?" The warlock was quiet for a moment. He closed his eyes. "Janus, why do you resist me?"

Finally, he chuckled. "I could have it all in a single hour. I am the undeclared ruler of this planet! But lust for a kingdom is for lessers who cannot get one. Abuse of power is for the truly powerless. I, Magus, am above such pitiful things. "

Magus sighed and opened his eyes. "And so I remain me."

The wizard's power receded deep into him, pacific, locked away under the control of its master. It was the greater show of power to control his strength. In the morning, it would be time to face the music with Lucca.

* * *

After five very busy years in college and grad school, it's looking like I'll have plenty of time to get back to my writing. The good news is that I've already gotten a lot of the next chapter written! The better news is that I'm trying to become a better writer. I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter—your reviews are directly translated into better installments of this tale and others in the future. Please look forward to the next installment of _The Masadoom and Company_!


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